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***The OFFICIAL Weekend Singles Thread*** March 28-30 - Platonic Friends and Marrying Ugly
March 28, 2008 | WFTR

Posted on 03/28/2008 3:56:43 PM PDT by WFTR

Welcome to the Weekend Singles' Thread

The last thread I hosted was called "The Bucket List" and was based loosely on a movie that I'd never seen. I'm repeating the idea of threads about movies I've never seen again this week. In my defense, this one wasn't my idea. Someone else suggested a discussion of platonic friendships between men and women and the idea from the "Harry met Sally" movie that those friendships can't exist. I'm going to add an idea from a news story this week in part because the story seemed amusing and in part because I wonder whether there is a connection.

From what I've heard, the idea behind the movie When Harry Met Sally is that men, or at least Bill Crystal's character, believe that they can never have a truly platonic relationship with a woman because they'll eventually want to have sex with that woman. I don't remember whether this idea applies only to situations where the man feels a strong physical attraction to a woman or whether any man will eventually want to have sex with any woman. Apparently, "Harry" claims that this desire will eventually doom the friendship because the man won't be able to endure the stress of the unfulfilled desire.

The second part of the topic is a short article that was published this week claiming that the happiest marriages are those where the woman is more physically attractive than the man. The whole article is only a few sentences and can be found at http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,340869,00.html. Important points in the article include the fact that only 82 couples were included in the study and that they had been married only six months. The study that led to the article requires a subscription to read, so I don't know whether the details of the study strengthen the idea.

Combining these topics leads to several points of discussion.

First, do you agree with the idea that men and women cannot form platonic friendships? Are those friendships destined to be disrupted by sexual desire on one side or the other? If so, does that desire generally come from the man? If those friendships are possible, what are the factors that lead to those friendships and what are the factors that make them impossible? Is appearance a big part of the equation?

Secondly, do you agree with the idea that marriages will generally be better if the woman is more attractive than the man? Obviously, if you're a guy, you're going to look at any couple and find the woman more attractive, but in a more objective sense, will the relationship be stronger if the woman is more attractive? If you're a gal, you're likely to see things just the opposite, but the same question applies.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Miscellaneous; Society
KEYWORDS: attractiveness; dating; friendships; marrying; singles
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To: Rca2000
ON the IMDB site—I have read a BUNCH of posts from women who are just falling all over themselves about a man whom they think is hot, sexy, talented and such. They want to meet him and some want to sleep with him.

I'm not familiar with that site. What is it?

121 posted on 03/29/2008 3:18:15 PM PDT by WFTR (Liberty isn't for cowards)
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To: RikaStrom
So basically we need another 15 hours or so in the week that don’t require additional sleep and aren’t slated for work.... then we can get a little exercise, a little fun, a reminder of why we work in the first place.

I'd like that change very much. In addition, those 15 hours would need to be free of rain or other bad weather that would keep us from doing what we love.

122 posted on 03/29/2008 3:19:35 PM PDT by WFTR (Liberty isn't for cowards)
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To: RikaStrom
SCUBA is fun, but I haven't figured out why my hobbies have to be pricey. I like warm water, so I have to travel to go. There are places you can dive in Texas but they're cold.

We've all had our share of pricey hobbies. I'm struggling with whether to buy about $4000 of camera equipment and take up digital photography. I'm finally giving up on film photography.

123 posted on 03/29/2008 3:21:06 PM PDT by WFTR (Liberty isn't for cowards)
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To: pigsmith
Maybe it's that "intuition" thing between females,

I'd like to know more about that, but maybe I'd regret knowing if I ever learned.

124 posted on 03/29/2008 3:22:20 PM PDT by WFTR (Liberty isn't for cowards)
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To: 38special; aft_lizard; abishai; A knight without armor; Alberta's Child; Allegra; Amityschild; ...
Saturday Night Singles

Please freepmail DaveLoneRanger to be added / removed

Bonus Questions

1. What vegetables/fruits do you like? Which ones do you hate?

2. What have you watched on TV this weekend?

3. Are you planning any good April Fools' jokes for next week?

125 posted on 03/29/2008 4:11:31 PM PDT by WFTR (Liberty isn't for cowards)
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To: WFTR

1. What vegetables/fruits do you like? Which ones do you hate?

Love - Apples, Oranges

Hate - Kiwi

2. What have you watched on TV this weekend?

Nothing

3. Are you planning any good April Fools’ jokes for next week?

nada


126 posted on 03/29/2008 4:22:44 PM PDT by Grunthor (I promise in November to be just as loyal to the GOP as Juan McAmnesty has been)
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To: Grunthor

I like oranges well enough, but I don’t eat them as much as I should. I still have some left over from my own orange tree. I need to eat them before they go bad, but the ones still left are so small that the amount of food I get is hardly worth the cleaning and cutting.


127 posted on 03/29/2008 4:34:46 PM PDT by WFTR (Liberty isn't for cowards)
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To: RikaStrom

Rika, told you what to do with the cell phone - accidently(on purpose) leave it at home. Or you could drown it or you could turn it off or drop it or step on it. Anything a kid can do to a pair of glasses you can do to the phone, I know, I’ve done it - the glasses that is and oh yeah, accidently on purpose left it someplace and still haven’t found it.


128 posted on 03/29/2008 4:35:18 PM PDT by dixie sass
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To: WFTR

1. What vegetables/fruits do you like? Which ones do you hate?

Squash (raw), spinach, ‘taters, ‘maters, and just about any fruit.

2. What have you watched on TV this weekend?

Ummmmmmm, well it was on but I wasn’t really watching it.

3. Are you planning any good April Fools’ jokes for next week?

Nope, not yet.


129 posted on 03/29/2008 4:38:34 PM PDT by dixie sass
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To: WFTR

I do believe that eventually sexual desire gets in the way. If you’ve formed a true friendship you genuinely like the other person and you have similar tastes, morals, values, etc. Assuming you’re heterosexual, nature is bound to take its course. Sometimes it can be ignored; sometimes not. I appreciate those who can remain platonic friends with the opposite sex because it’s always nice to get the other point of view.


130 posted on 03/29/2008 4:42:12 PM PDT by JavaJumpy
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To: dixie sass

Do you grow any of those veggies on your own or are you buying them?


131 posted on 03/29/2008 5:01:21 PM PDT by WFTR (Liberty isn't for cowards)
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To: JavaJumpy
I do believe that eventually sexual desire gets in the way. If you’ve formed a true friendship you genuinely like the other person and you have similar tastes, morals, values, etc. Assuming you’re heterosexual, nature is bound to take its course. Sometimes it can be ignored; sometimes not. I appreciate those who can remain platonic friends with the opposite sex because it’s always nice to get the other point of view.

What if there's no physical attraction? Would a lack of physical attraction mean that those desires would never surface? Likewise, do you believe that there are personality traits that could keep someone from ever feeling a sexual desire even though two people were similar in tastes, morals, values, etc.?

132 posted on 03/29/2008 5:09:29 PM PDT by WFTR (Liberty isn't for cowards)
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To: Old Sarge
I need a date...

Well, Sarge, if you were older I'd be in the line of females chasing you!

I got to take a Chinook from Germany to London for the queen's Jubilee in 1977.

ENJOY!


133 posted on 03/29/2008 5:41:41 PM PDT by bannie (clintons CHEAT! It's their only weapon.)
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To: WFTR

I’m with Harry - the sexual stuff always gets in the way (or at least that’s been my experience).

Physical attraction is overrated. You have the initial attraction that you might feel if you bump into someone somewhere. BUT, if you get really close to someone they become very physically attractive to you just because of the closeness between you.

Or maybe that’s just me. I’ve read other responses where people were able to maintain platonic relationships for a very long time.

I guess Harry and I are over there in that -—> corner!


134 posted on 03/29/2008 6:17:23 PM PDT by JavaJumpy
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To: WFTR
It has been my experience that one can SUPPRESS any improper sexual desires, if they want to maintain a truly platonic relationship,(especially if they get pretty close to another person,) especially with someone who already “has someone else”. And then they can both be friends that can "be there" for each other and help each other out in ways each one needs.

It is something that I have no problem doing. But then I have long been considered to be abnormal.

135 posted on 03/29/2008 6:26:20 PM PDT by Rca2000 (I am VERY fearful for the future of this nation......)
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To: WFTR
1. What vegetables/fruits do you like? Which ones do you hate?

I love all fruits/veggies. Haven't found one I couldn't tolerate.

2. What have you watched on TV this weekend?

A Haunting. Mostly watch the Discovery and History Channels.....but will go for CMT and any cops, forensics, etc.

3. Are you planning any good April Fools' jokes for next week?

No......the last one I did as a favor for a friend. I dressed up as a crazy woman and went to the local MHMR office where my friend's friend worked. It was his 40th birthday and worked as a counselor there. (all his coworkers were in on the gag.)

I convinced him I'd just been released from the local state mental facility and needed a job. It was funny and I have pics. Poor guy looked like a deer caught in the headlights....when we finally revealed the gag.

136 posted on 03/29/2008 6:32:21 PM PDT by LaineyDee (Don't mess with Texas wimmen!)
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To: LaineyDee
I convinced him I'd just been released from the local state mental facility and needed a job. It was funny and I have pics. Poor guy looked like a deer caught in the headlights....when we finally revealed the gag.

LOL

137 posted on 03/29/2008 7:04:46 PM PDT by WFTR (Liberty isn't for cowards)
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To: JavaJumpy

Fair enough, thanks for your answer. I guess I still see the attraction as important. I’ve had friends for whom I never felt any attraction. I can’t imagine having a sexual relationship in those cases. I would have zero desire for that kind of relationship.


138 posted on 03/29/2008 7:06:27 PM PDT by WFTR (Liberty isn't for cowards)
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To: WFTR

I paid: $5.69 for a half gallon of Stoneyfield Farm Whole Organic Milk./Just Asking - seoul62........


139 posted on 03/29/2008 7:06:49 PM PDT by seoul62
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To: WFTR
I’ve had friends for whom I never felt any attraction. I can’t imagine having a sexual relationship in those cases.

I once went out on a "date" with a guy I grew up with... (from diapers to high school) At the end of the evening...he kissed me. Afterward, we just looked at each other and went "EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!" hahaha. I have had guy friends I find extremely attractive.......just not in a sexual sort of way....so I know where you're coming from.

140 posted on 03/29/2008 7:18:12 PM PDT by LaineyDee (Don't mess with Texas wimmen!)
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