Posted on 04/18/2008 8:47:15 AM PDT by najida
I love ya, najida, but this is the perfect list for a girl who wants a gay male friend.
This is the most condescending garbage I have read in a long time. You actually think it’s your place to hand out “rules” for men to live by? BTW your “rules” are tired, hackneyed stereotypes that anyone with a normal brain can see through. It’s telling that you cannot.
1. Asking a girl on Friday for a date on Saturday is completely unacceptable. Keyword: Planning
Instead of getting all mad about this, Just say "sorry can't go on saturday what about another day?"
2. Shave every day. One day's growth of facial hair is worse than a girl not shaving her legs for a week.
Too bad, it's my face you don't own it.
3. We may be emotional beings, but do not lie to squirm your way out of trouble. We are not as gullible as you think.
Sometime we lie just to get you to shut up. Quit making such a big deal out of things that aren't a big deal
4. Learn to clean up the toilet. If peeing standing up is so difficult and you are bound to miss, then may we suggest that you learn to use a toilet brush and sponge to clean up after yourself.
We only piss on the seat because we are pissed at all your whining so learn to look before you sit and quit whining.
5. We really don't find it attractive when you stand there stratching yourself in the morning, afternoon or night- please do it in private.
When you got an itch you scratch it. Too bad it drives you crazy, it's driving us crazy not to scratch it.
6. Don't do it, if you're not going to follow-thru. A woman would rather not have sex at all, than to have it and miss the climax by a mile because you weren't up for the challenge.
More complaints...just get used to it, all your complaining will lead to your man being really inadequate in bed with you and make him end up on viagra just to get it up around you.
7. Don't fix it if it's really not broke. You don't need to take everything apart out of curiosity.
It's a man thing you wouldn't understand.
8. Ask for directions
We only get lost when you don't shut your trap in the car.
9. If you said you are going to be somewhere at a certain time, then do it. Don't expect us to wait around.
Maybe we want you to wait, it's not like we wait around when you get all that crap on your face
10. Professional Wrestling and Soap Opera's are the same story lines, just different costumes. So don't make fun of us for being hooked on Y&R when you are hooked on RAW.
Here is a rule, don't go out with people who watch RAW or Y&R all the time, they are mentally deficient and will lead to trailer park relationships.
11. "I don't feel like talking right now" is an acceptable thing to say- Unacceptable thing to do is sit there and pretend you're listening and just say "uh huh" and "yes Dear"- it's condescending.
If you see this happening, please realize it is in response to your endless condescending tirade of complaints and bitchiness.
12. Get rid of your holey underwear.
We only wear it cause you are too lazy to get off your ass and buy us some new underwear.
13. If you can ogle so can we!
fine, if we catch you, do we get to smack you in the back of the head and not talk to you for a week, like you do to us?
14. One remote is ENOUGH... no need to have a control tower in your living room.
Don't call me at work when you can't get the tv to work because you hit the wrong button
15. Couch Potato is not a sport, so don't try to be an All-star at it!
Better to have your man at home watching tv then out at a bar picking up the latest hussy, so get him a beer and start doing the laundry, he might help you fold.
16. Your way is not always the right way. Learn to say- "I was wrong"
This is a good rule as in, "I was wrong... to go out with that controlling bitch freak."
17. If we can't talk to you during a football game, then don't try to get our attention during Gray's Anatomy.
You are way into tv, no wonder you don't find anything satisfying in life. Do some gardening, take a walk.
18. If you say you are going to do something, then just do it. Don't sit around thinking of creative excuses why you couldn't get to it.
If we say we will do something, don't ask us when it will be done over and over, it makes it take longer. One day you will see it will get done, patience is a virtue...
19. We are not your mothers, so don't expect us to clean up after you like one.
Nope you aren't like my mother, never will be. Don't compare your self to that saint ever again. GOT IT!
20. Wendy's is not considered a romantic dinner for two.
Agree, a romantic dinner for two is one that the women makes at home with real ingredients.
21. We have other friends of the male gender, so leave your jealousy at the door!
That's fine as long as they are gay, and we can have other girl friends
22. If you concede to let us decorate the house without any input from you, then don't complain when everything is in frilly flowers, and pink motif.
Remind me to never concede this.
23. When wearing a dress shirt, wear an undershirt underneath. Nothing worse than seeing a man's hairy chest and nipples through his shirt. (PINK PINK PINK)
I thought plummers crack was worse
24. Hey, we CAN be friends with our ex's- so deal with it!
Sure you can, keep telling yourself that lie, we will never believe because we are also ex's and understand what your ex wants.
25. We understand that you have to put on a manly act in front of your friends, but in the privacy of your own home, it's okay if you just want to cuddle.
Actually you don't understand, but it's ok to think you have all the answers...
Exactly. Very observant man.
>>14. One remote is ENOUGH... no need to have a control tower in your living room.
You obviously know nothing of consumer electronics<<
My hubby has a 100.00 remote.
He is the King!
It is called HUMOR
just like Gopher’s thread.
H u m o r.
ha ha.
he he he.
giggle.
Ya know ;)
LOL!
Yeah, a 5 o’clock shadow can be very very sexy.
Judging from the contrast between the posts on this thread and the posts on the other thread.....I’d say your theory has been confirmed.
Ah, pardon my ignorance, but who is that? Assuming he’s an actor, what does he play in?
Yes,
Ain’t scientific research a wonderful thing!
Off to write my thesis ;)
Wow, hon. You need a better woman for sure!
I’m sorry to see so much pain in your posts...
This is so true! When my wife and I married, I had a nice new truck, she had a little Chevy Malibu, After the baby came along, she took over my truck for three years because it was safer for the baby. Finally, I bought a new Trailblazer so I could get my truck back. Now, she considers the Blazer "hers", and I never get to drive it, even if we are going somewhere together!
“So anyone ever thought about suicide `cause you’re too lazy to date? Those guys who say, `I’m macho and have a sensitive side.’ I ask them, `So what are you—a gay trucker?’”
Judy Tenuta
>>SNORT!<<
Here are my political-related rules that I wish certain men (emphasis on “certain”) would listen to:
1. Don’t paint all women with the same brush.
2. Quit calling us natural socialists. Most of us work and pay taxes. Some of us own businesses. Some of us hate socialism even more than you do.
3. Don’t blame us for abortion. Blame the male Supreme Court justices who legalized it, the male-dominated MSM members who promote it, and the male-dominated field of abortion doctors who do it.
4. If you’re not responsible for the sins of Slick Willy, we’re not responsible for the sins of Her Thighness.
5. There are actual women (gasp) who like guns.
6. Knock it off with the “Repeal the 19th Amendment” crap. It’s never going to happen, and even if it did happen, women would still be voting in every state because every state would vote to keep it legal, as would be their privilege under the 10th Amendment. You do support states’ rights, don’t you?
7. Your ex-wife may have been very mean and nasty to you. I’m sincerely sorry if that is the case. However, I’m not her. Please don’t get mad at me because of what she did.
8. I will wear the abaya or burqa when someone puts one on my cold dead body.
Yeah, those legs, nothing more annoying that crickety picky legs on a lady!
uh huh... yea... I’m listening... No problem...
The irony isn’t lost on me that I’m on the phone right now accepting a gig for the girls the Friday before Father’s Day.
Rules, what rules, we don’t need no stinking rule.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.