"Bang! Zoom! To the moon, Alice!"
Posted on 04/18/2008 8:47:15 AM PDT by najida
Rules that Girls Wish Guys Knew
1. Asking a girl on Friday for a date on Saturday is completely unacceptable. Keyword: Planning
2. Shave every day. One day's growth of facial hair is worse than a girl not shaving her legs for a week.
3. We may be emotional beings, but do not lie to squirm your way out of trouble. We are not as gullible as you think.
4. Learn to clean up the toilet. If peeing standing up is so difficult and you are bound to miss, then may we suggest that you learn to use a toilet brush and sponge to clean up after yourself.
5. We really don't find it attractive when you stand there stratching yourself in the morning, afternoon or night- please do it in private.
6. Don't do it, if you're not going to follow-thru. A woman would rather not have sex at all, than to have it and miss the climax by a mile because you weren't up for the challenge.
7. Don't fix it if it's really not broke. You don't need to take everything apart out of curiosity.
8. Ask for directions
9. If you said you are going to be somewhere at a certain time, then do it. Don't expect us to wait around.
10. Professional Wrestling and Soap Opera's are the same story lines, just different costumes. So don't make fun of us for being hooked on Y&R when you are hooked on RAW.
11. "I don't feel like talking right now" is an acceptable thing to say- Unacceptable thing to do is sit there and pretend you're listening and just say "uh huh" and "yes Dear"- it's condescending.
12. Get rid of your holey underwear.
13. If you can ogle so can we!
14. One remote is ENOUGH... no need to have a control tower in your living room.
15. Couch Potato is not a sport, so don't try to be an All-star at it!
16. Your way is not always the right way. Learn to say- "I was wrong"
17. If we can't talk to you during a football game, then don't try to get our attention during Gray's Anatomy.
18. If you say you are going to do something, then just do it. Don't sit around thinking of creative excuses why you couldn't get to it.
19. We are not your mothers, so don't expect us to clean up after you like one.
20. Wendy's is not considered a romantic dinner for two.
21. We have other friends of the male gender, so leave your jealousy at the door!
22. If you concede to let us decorate the house without any input from you, then don't complain when everything is in frilly flowers, and pink motif.
23. When wearing a dress shirt, wear an undershirt underneath. Nothing worse than seeing a man's hairy chest and nipples through his shirt. (PINK PINK PINK)
24. Hey, we CAN be friends with our ex's- so deal with it!
25. We understand that you have to put on a manly act in front of your friends, but in the privacy of your own home, it's okay if you just want to cuddle.
Totally TIC humor.
It has been my experience that this is the other way around.....
I must assume that since you numbered them that we can ignore anything past #1.
Here’s mine for all the women I know.
1. Stop telling me what to do.
I hope a woman like this would give me the list right up front so I could have nothing to do with her.
rules guys wish girls knew:
we want sex. lots of it. if you don’t give us plenty of opportunity to practice, don’t expect us to get it right when you want it once a month.
Sorry, dear ... you lost me right there.
Last time I shaved was ... hmmmm ...
Oh, yes. I had facial surgery several months ago. Had to shave for that.
Had to buy a razor.
I actually think this is okay. He says "Uh-huh, sure, whatever ..." and then I head for Amazon.com or Ignatius Press with the credit card :-).
None. She can cook my dinner in the dark, barefoot and pregnant with a smile on her face for having such a wonderful man in her life that allows her to bear his children.
That's just cruel.
yeah, i have a little problem with the “shave everyday” thing too. it takes me 3 days to grow five o’clock shadow.
rofl! that’s what he gets for pretending to listen.
I think day old stubble is very attractive. My friends do too. Obviously not for formal occasions but otherwise it’s okay.
7. Don't fix it if it's really not broke. You don't need to take everything apart out of curiosity.
We need to take things apart to know how they work just in case it breaks and we need to fix it.
Rule #1. Rules are only for guys, Women reserve the right to change their minds at random, on a whimsy, or for no apparent reason what so ever.
Rule #2. What is your is “ours” what is her’s is her’s alone.
I noticed several things on the list where one could reply “Back at ya.”
I shave at 7am and have a 5 o'clock shadow by noon.
Huh. I wonder what sort of guy inspired this list? Probably not someone worth having around.
In my experience, this is a list of complete cliches that situation comedies love to draw from. Absolute rubbish.
APf
Is the t-shirt rule true? I had no idea and I hardly ever wear one under a dress shirt. < But I’m willing to change if it’s unacceptable >
Hrmpt,
well, put it back together then! ;)
"Bang! Zoom! To the moon, Alice!"
Does he get to be "friends" with his ex's?
It’s humor, just like the Guys List-— TIC.
Lady, when they wrote that Constitutional Amendment about keeping and arming bears, that was all about me.
I strongly disagree.
Mine was. So yeah.
When a woman says 7:30, she means 7:30 plus about 45 minutes for incidentals.....
Deal!
LOL! I have a friend who would be the ideal man according this list Of course, the joke is that macho guys think he’s gay, when he’s definitely not.
I only have one rule for women (see we are more tolerant). You took me for what I was at the time so quit trying to change me or modify my behavior. You picked me so therefore I must of had something you wanted at the time.
Naw, day-old stubble is like wearing undies from the laundry basket/ floor, from yesterday. Sorry, guys.
Maybe, but THEY can never be friends with you. We are all pigs, and he will only be constantly plotting to get in your pants, unless he has turned gay. We know that because we live it.
That sounds like me “I asked, you nodded yes, what’s your problem?”
No, ma’am, I won’t help you fix your flat tire or winch you out of the ditch. I don’t like being cold, wet and dirty for the rest of the day anymore than you do. There used to be a world when it was “manly” to show deference to ladies and to assist them when they were in distress. But there are no ladies anymore, just “ho’s” who publish whiney lists on the internet. Pay the wrecker guy. Meanwhile, I’ll see if my truck tires can’t cover you with slush as I pass. I need a chuckle this morning.
25 on the list? The guys list would have only one requirement.
“Asking a girl on Friday for a date on Saturday is completely unacceptable. Keyword: Planning”
LOL. I just struck out on the first point!
Uh-huh, yes, dear.
We can find another woman. Don't try to run our lives. Forget this at your peril.
I was thinking the same. Notice how its top of the list. Come to think of it, these days the women are calling the men.
Reminds me of the time I was talking to an old, Italian doctor I had a few years ago. He was telling me how he worked so hard to please his wife early on in their marriage by conforming to what she wanted him to be - then she spent the remainder of their marriage complaining how he wasn't the man she married!
Yes, it’s humor,
just like this thread
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2003465/posts
Ugh, I wish this worked in my house. I get grief for looking at this
But he likes this.
*sigh*
It’s humor,
just like this thread
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2003465/posts
Now wait just a minute. This is where I draw the line!
Stop leaving the toilet seat down!! Its easier to drop it then lift it.
I have to admit by the 3rd line it started to sound like my wife. So the remainder of the post I found myself saying yes dear, and I don't know what the hell I just read. LOL!!
~~sigh~~
he is soooo pleasant to look at...
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