Posted on 11/14/2008 4:42:45 AM PST by Lucky9teen
The store owner tells the nun: “Sister, you know we have strict orders from Mother Superior that this liquor store is off-limits to the convent.”
Nun: “But this is for Mother Superior's constipation”
Owner: “Ok sister, anything for Mother Superior”
About an hour later, he hears singing and goings on outside his store. He goes out to have a look-see and there's Sister Mary Mary all snockered up partying with the local winos.
Owner: “ Sister Mary Mary, shame on you. I thought you said the liquor was for Mother Superior's constipation ?”
Nun: "It is! When I get back and Mother Superior gets a load of me, she's gunna sh$t !”
bkmk
European Security Threat Levels
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved”. Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross”. Londoners have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz began in 1940 and tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance”. The last time the British issued “A Bloody Nuisance” warning level was during the great fire of 1666.
Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide”. The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France’s white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country’s military capability.
It’s not only the English and French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout loudly and excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.”
The Germans also increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbor” and “Lose”.
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
WORLD CLASS FAIL.
Maybe it's a metaphor for what 0bama will do to the country.
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