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1 posted on 03/22/2009 4:44:11 PM PDT by nickcarraway
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To: nickcarraway
What do you do with an elephant with 3 balls?

Walk him and pitch to the Rhino

2 posted on 03/22/2009 4:46:43 PM PDT by al baby (Hi Mom)
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To: nickcarraway

Was this study funded with the Stimulus?


3 posted on 03/22/2009 4:49:37 PM PDT by Guns
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To: nickcarraway

What did the fish say when he hit the cement wall? Dam!


5 posted on 03/22/2009 4:54:59 PM PDT by LukeL (Yasser Arafat: "I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize")
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To: nickcarraway

Nah. The best joke in the world is this one”

Q. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

A. Because he was dead.

Works great with kids - monkeys are always a funny topic.


6 posted on 03/22/2009 4:57:10 PM PDT by WorkingClassFilth (Actually, it all started back in Mayberry. Helen Crump was a traveler and Floyd, well, you know...)
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To: nickcarraway

Two blonds walk into a bar....You’d think one of them would of seen it?


7 posted on 03/22/2009 4:57:55 PM PDT by Drango (A liberal's compassion is limited only by the size of someone else's wallet.)
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To: nickcarraway

Obama is the best president we have ever had.


8 posted on 03/22/2009 4:59:39 PM PDT by freedomlover (Make sure you're in love - before you move in the heavy stuff)
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To: nickcarraway
"It's going to be cold. How cold you ask? So cold the squirrels are going to be wearing long johns." - Sonny Eliot, WWJ Detroit

His jokes are awful. And that's why I love him. :)

(and the fact that he was a WWII POW)

9 posted on 03/22/2009 5:00:38 PM PDT by LiberConservative ("Get your gun and bring in the cat")
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To: nickcarraway

What do you call cheese that belongs to someone else?

Nacho cheese.


11 posted on 03/22/2009 5:02:13 PM PDT by Yardstick
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To: nickcarraway

I’ve always wanted to write a book called, “This Joke is Funny Because . . . ,” Analyzing jokes to death. And . . . I’ve also considered being a door to door salesman selling “No Soliciting” signs.


12 posted on 03/22/2009 5:03:09 PM PDT by Fester Chugabrew
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To: nickcarraway

I kinda thought this administration would be hard to forget.


15 posted on 03/22/2009 5:40:53 PM PDT by Mad Dawg (Oh Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee.)
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To: nickcarraway

Laughter as a Science: Eight Ways To Our Funny Bone
chattahbox.com/science | March 21, 2009
Posted on 03/22/2009 3:18:06 PM PDT by JoeProBono
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2212244/posts


17 posted on 03/22/2009 5:47:39 PM PDT by SunkenCiv (https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/____________________ Profile updated Monday, January 12, 2009)
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To: nickcarraway

ping jokes


19 posted on 03/22/2009 6:47:42 PM PDT by TNoldman (Conservative Values FOREVER!)
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To: nickcarraway

Hillary Clinton

Ha, I just cant remember the lead


23 posted on 03/23/2009 6:00:04 AM PDT by bert (K.E. N.P. +12 . John Galt hell !...... where is Francisco dÂ’Anconia)
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To: nickcarraway
A new guy in town walks into a bar and reads a sign that hangs over the bar.

FREE BEER FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN PASS OUR TEST!

So the guy asks the bartender what the test is. The Bartender replies "Well, first you have to drink that whole gallon of pepper tequila, the whole thing at once and you can't make a face while doing it. Second, there's a 'gator out back with a sore tooth...you have to remove it with your bare hands. Third, there's a woman up-stairs who's never had an orgasm. You gotta make things right for her."

The guy says, "Well, as much as I would love free beer, I won't do it. You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila and then get crazier from there. Well, as time goes on and the man drinks a few, he asks, "Wherez zat teeqeelah?"

He grabs the gallon of tequilla with both hands, and downs it with a big slurp and tears streaming down his face. Next, he staggers out back and soon all the people inside hear the most frightening roaring and thumping, then silence.

The man staggers back into the bar, his shirt ripped and big scratches all over his body. "Now" he says "Where's that woman with the sore tooth?"

24 posted on 03/23/2009 6:30:48 AM PDT by jellybean (Who is John Galt? ~ Bookmark http://altfreerepublic.freeforums.org for when FR is down)
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