Skip to comments.Green Lawn Secrets
Posted on 07/12/2009 5:37:28 PM PDT by narses
It's not only what you do to your lawn, but when you do it. The first day of Spring is August 15th. What you do in the fall will affect your lawn, since that's when plants go through their major growth spurt.
Autumn is the best time to kill weeds, just as the weather starts to cool down. Weeds grow best during bright, sunny days between 1:PM and 3:PM. In order to get the maximum benefit from your weed killer, spray a weak solution of children's shampoo on the lawn. Believe it or not, this washes the grime off the yard allowing your grass to make better use of sunlight while at the same time making the weeds more receptive to weed killer.
In a garden store, soil softener is called ammonium lauryl sulfate, however children's shampoo or even dish soap will do the job just fine. Use a hose sprayer that emits 1 tablespoon per gallon of water.
You can use regular or liquid weed killer with your sprayer; put in enough for about 5 gallons of water (you'll have to read your weed killer instructions) and mix with it a tablespoon of shampoo or soap with the weed killer, and apply.
Spray just the weeds, not the whole yard. Weed killer retards plant growth. Additionally, you may want to use separate sprayers so you don't accidently feed your weeds and kill your yard. Shake the sprayer periodically, keeping the solution mixed well as you spray.
You can make a potent weed killer yourself for use in spray bottles. Mix a quart of warm water with an ounce of children shampoo, an ounce of vinegar, and a capful of gin. Put the sprayer on stream, not mist. This salty, soapy water will clean and stick to weeds and dry them out; the gin will also help kill the weeds. Feeding the Lawn
The secret formula is to mix your dry fertilizer with a four pounds of Epsom salts (which make the lawn green) and a pound of confectioners sugar (which gives the plants energy). Plants need sugar and starch, typically they produce their own via photosynthesis, however you've just provided the materials without the work. Use a rotary spreader set to half your fertilizer's recommended settings. Spread before noon in both the fall and spring.
Watering the Lawn
The secret formula for watering is a can of beer (which helps the thatch compost faster into better soil), a cup children's shampoo (to break water surface tension and wash away dust), half a cup of molasses (more sugars) disolved in half a cup of warm water (so it isn't thick), and top off with household ammonia (for nitrogen). Note, pouring beer into soap will make lots of bubbles. Do this over the lawn.
Spray this liquid on your lawn every three weeks, you should also spray it directly over your fall and spring fertilizer session.
Warning: your lawn will get slippery.
Using a sharp blade is the trick, you want to cut the grass, not tear it. Mow after 7:PM so the grass can heal without the scortching sun. Failure to do so will increase the chances of the top of the grass from turning yellow or brown.
Sharpen your mower's blades after every two sessions.
Trim close around driveways and sidewalks. Bugs love to make homes under overhanging plants.
Save Your Grass Clippings
Grass clippings can be used in your garden around your vegtables and between plants. They hold in moisture and heat, while also keeping weeds at bay. Grass clippings can also be used for composting. Watering
If you can step on your lawn and the grass doesn't bounce back up, it needs watering. Water between 4:30AM and noon. Water for 45 minutes, if you've used the shampoo mixtures the water should seep right into the soil for the plants to use.
The deeper the water goes, the better the plant roots.
Aerate the Yard
Use shoes with sharp kleets; by poking holes in your yard you let air and moisture get in, while loosing the soil. You can rent aerating machines which pull up plugs of earth. These holes fill in with silt and loose earth during rain storms and do a great job at retaining moisture.
Many new homes are built in areas where the good topsoil has been stripped away and sold. The soil needs to be replaced for a good lawn. Cow manure / comprow spread every few months helps out. The trick is not to over do too much too soon and choke new grass that forms.
The secret formula is one third of a hunk of fatty lye soap shaved and disolved into a quart of boiling water. Mix with four ounces of flea and tick shampoo. Take a hand-sized pinch of chewing tobacco and boil it in another quart of water; filter out the leaves (you're making tea). When done mix equal parts of: the lye-shampoo, the tobacco tea, and antieptic mouthwash. Spray this stuff on your lawn with a setting of one tablespoon per gallon. The solution kills disease, makes the insects sick, and poisons them.
What are your secrets? Iron? Epsom salts? Gin?
Green lawns are against my religion.
Roundup works well as does flaming motor oil.
Packed red dirt, a car up on it’s side with chickens
roosting in it and I’m home.
One table spoon of baking soda and one of instant tea per gallon of water to stop brown spot and other fungal diseases.
Gin always made my grass greener.
Why do they say the first day of Spring is August 15th?
In the summer I prefer to drink gin and tonic rather than pour it over the lawn.
I’m dry now but a G and T on a hot summer afternoon was
just the ticket.
It’s not only what you do to your lawn, but when you do it. The first day of Spring is August 15th.
I guess this does rate as news.
Well, It is complicated, but August was named after Augustus Casear and one half year seperates August 15 from the assassination of Julius Caesar. I hope this helps.
I like your style. Also like crushed limestone ;-)
You are a bachelor then?
Drink enough gin so you won’t care how your lawn looks.
I’m not really into perfecting lawns. But what I see all over is the really really perfectionists lawn keepers are killing themselves by mowing too dam much.
Keep your mower set on the tallest setting. And only mow late in the evening. Time it so you finish just as it gets dark.
And for godsakes...QUIT WATERING YOUR LAWN IN THE MIDDAY HEAT YOU MORONS! Water your lawn after dark or very early in the AM. So many of these fools act like they are proving something to the world by keeping their grass clipped super short and out in the worst heat sweating bullets to do it. All it proves to me is how really stupid they are.
Your grass will never be it’s thickest and plushest if the sun is baking the dirt every dam day. SO QUIT MOWING THE GRASS SO SHORT. idiots.
I had a discussion with a neighbor lady one time about yard work. we were standing on the sidewalk and I was looking at my yard and I said “It’s about time for me to mow but it’s too hot right now. I’ll wait till tomorrow and mow it just before it’s supposed to rain.” The stupid woman says” I don’t blame you, yard work is hard work.”
I about had a coronary right then. I turned and told the idiot that I was thinking about my grass’s health, not my own sweat!
Keep an eye on the weather forcast and always try to time it so you mow just before a rain. If possible.
Bermudagrass cut with a gas powered reel mower...can’t be beat.
Helps having your own reel sharpening equipment too. Gets expensive paying someone else!
Green Lawn Secrets
1.put up a fence
2.climb over it
3.look back at your yard
4.guaranteed to work
I prefer gin. The more gin I drink the better my lawn looks.
Are you series?
SO QUIT MOWING THE GRASS SO SHORT. idiots.
And one other thing...
There’s a bar joke in there somewhere, I know .... LOL
I don’t have an M1 or a torino. But I do have an old green car and a mauser!
It works. Put it in a hand held pump sprayer and spray the spots. Get on them early though. The longer you let it go the harder it is to get rid of.
You gotta see this.
What's he smoking? The author has obviously never been to Texas or the South in August, comparable to spending a month in the fires of hell. He's right though, the weeds and the grass they grow in will die if you just let the sun do its thing.
ROTFLMAO. I’m umm, borrowing that.
ping Grass Care?
My North Tx St. Augustine grass does well in spring and early summer but the scorching heat can turn it brown by mid August—even with watering it regularly and the clay soil is awful when it dries out some. Constant battle in the summer plus protecting the home foundations from shifting due to dry clay soils. Soaker hoses a definite item to have and keep the soil moist to prevent cracking.
I bought one of the last 2cycle lawnboys in 2005 I love using it. I dont have great grass but it is damn sight better than when i got here 10 years ago. I keep on getting deployments to properly treat my lawn before spring. I had my clover issue almost licked, but it has came back.
“Drink enough gin so you wont care how your lawn looks.”
LOL, I thought that was the secret too!
Our lawn is dreadful (we just bought our house last august, hey, it was actually the first day of spring when we bought it!). We are in an area close to the beach, so the soil is sandy, there a very few good lawns around here.
I’ve told hubby the lawn is a job for next year, or maybe even the year after that!
But I did learn something about weeding today, the already sprayed dead weeds pulled up a lot easier after last night’s big rain. So in the future I’ll hose them down before pulling them up.
I’m a city girl moved to the suburbs, so this is all very new to me.
try some green lawn paint on those spots. very easy.
perhaps you are doing too much stuff to the lawn. maybe if you mow it and ignore it, (have some gin) it will be happier. i’m no expert but my dad worked at a golf course for 45yrs and i picked up a few things. sometimes, grass is better if you just leave it alone and stop fooling around trying to have a “perfect” lawn. fire the fertilizers, put down the hose, and have a drink. it may work, it may not but it will be more relaxing than worrying about a bunch of stuff that can generally take care of itself. although i must say i have seen diseased greens look like that too.
I’m wondering if its some sort of fungus. Honestly, this year, I’ve done much less than I’ve ever done. And it looks much worse. The tru green guy only comes every other month too.
saving for future reference, thanks
Or you can take the advice from madamemayhem in post 44. ;-)
Best to read about the neurotoxins in weed killers before ever using it on your property at all.
People wonder why they get chronic conditions or cancer.
Also like crushed limestone
Works for me.
Kalifornian Green concrete or astro turf if you
I have never understood the mentality of
planting grass only to have to cut it every week
or two. I have better things to do with my time.
Our lawn may not look as pretty as some of the neighbors, but we're just as happy.