Posted on 09/16/2009 4:11:09 PM PDT by Hildy
PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk
SOCIALISM You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbor.
BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs the regulations say you should need
COMMUNISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.
FASCISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.
DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors take the cows and kill you.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
SURREALISM You have two female giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.
A FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows. You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION You have two cows. Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION You have two cows. Business seems pretty good.You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate
I was thinking the same thing.....I remembered the older ones but the additions are great....thanks for the laugh
They are hilarious! I thought this was gonna be another free market bunch of bull and I was going to do Wall Street Capitalism, but I was beat to it.
parsy, who loved the surreal one especially
The surrealism one is hysterical!
HILLARY CLINTON: You have two cows and they both look like Webster Hubbell.
ROFLMAO!!!
Get to work!
The new additons are hilarious!
Hey...no Representative Republic!
You have two cows and you live in a low tax State. The State says you have to pay tax on the two cows so they can help take care of the needs of the people in the state and they are the last word. The Feds decide they want to tax them, too. The Feds keep collecting taxes until they get so big they think they can ignore the States, which is Unconstitutional. The Feds decide they want the poor people to have your cows, so they start passing laws to take them from you. The State can’t do anything about it because they no longer think they have rights. You will need to get the State to assert the 10th Amendment rights it has under the Constitution or to secede from the Federal Government or you will lose everything.
PROGRESSIVE BUREAUCRACY RULED BY GREEN PARTY:
The State allows the cows to milk you.
bookmark
bttt
bump!
Bump for today.
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