Posted on 06/17/2010 1:28:59 PM PDT by Red Badger
Star Wars fans rejoice: someone has finally succeeded in creating a working lightsaber. And it can be yours for only US$197.97.
Hong Kong company Wicked Lasers has manufactured “the most dangerous laser ever created,” a lightsaber with a blue beam that can burn retinas and set skin on fire.
The Spyder III Pro Arctic features a 1 watt laser the company warns is the most powerful portable laser available. The beam is a thousand times more powerful than sunlight on skin and the manufacturer warns it could cause cancer.
It’s definitely not something you want to give to your seven-year-old Star Wars fanatic.
Cautions Wicked Lasers:
Warning: Extremely dangerous is an understatement to 1W of laser power. At close range, this Class 4 beam will cause immediate and irreversable retinal damage. Use with extreme caution and use only when wearing proper safety goggles with an O.D. of 3+ is required and 4.4+ for longer exposures.
For your convenience, the Arctic comes packaged with free safety glasses.
World Lasers says it ships the lightsaber to over 70 countries, Canada included.
(Excerpt) Read more at news.nationalpost.com ...
What are you going call it
Death star???????
Sounds a prototype....needs to be a bit stronger....
I’m still waiting on my real life R2D2.
Can you attach it to frickin’ sharks’ heads?
Something you can use to burn ants with besides the passe’ magnifying glass.
Ants, heck you drive your neighbors cat crazy!..............
What was that about retinal damage again???
and unfortunately illegal to ship to the US
“Something you can use to burn ants with besides the passe’ magnifying glass.”
Cool! I can burn ants, even at night!
Lord knows it will take many days (and even more nights) to burn all the dang fire ants in Texas!
When the lightsabre is invented, it will not be made of light. Light will be a byproduct of the blade. The blade itself will be made of positrons.
Unless you break out the gasoline and matches. A coworker of mine did that years ago at a building materials company. We were loading some 16' siding onto a flatbed. When he reached under a stack, he put his hand into a large fire ant mound. He got so mad he doused it with gasoline and threw a match on it. Took him a while to dig all the way down to the source to put the fire out. But ... no more ants in that mound.
Consumer Reporter: Good evening, and welcome to the holiday edition of “Consumer Probe”. Our topic tonight is unsafe toys for children. For instance, this little bow and arrow set. [ holds up ] Pull the rubber suctions off, and the arrows become deadly missiles.
[ cut to full shot, showing Irwin Mainway seated to Joan’s right ]
We have with us tonight, Mr. Irwin Mainway, President of Mainway Toys. Uh, Mr. Mainway, your company manufactures the following so-called harmless playthings: Pretty Peggy Ear-Piercing Set, Mr. Skin-Grafter, General Tron’s Secret Police Confession Kit, and Doggie Dentist. And what about this innocent rubber doll, which you market under the name Johnny Switchblade? [ holds up doll ] Press his head, and two sharp knives spring from his arms. [ demonstrates ] Mr. Mainway, I’m afraid this is, by no means, a very safe toy.
Irwin Mainway: Okay, Miss, I wanna correct you, alright. The full name of this product, as it appears in stores all over the county, is Johnny Switchblade: Adventure Punk. I mean, nothing goes wrong.. little girls buy ‘em, you know, they play games, they make up stories, nobody gets hurt. I mean, so Barbie takes a knife once in a while, or Ken gets cut. You know, there’s no harm in that. I mean, as far as I can see, you know?
Consumer Reporter: Alright. Fine. Fine. Well, we’d like to show you another one of Mr. Mainway’s products. It retails for $1.98, and it’s called Bag O’ Glass. [ holds up bag of glass ] Mr. Mainway, this is simply a bag of jagged, dangerous, glass bits.
Irwin Mainway: Yeah, right, it’s you know, it’s glass, it’s broken glass, you know? It sells very well, as a matter of fact, you know? It’s just broken glass, you know?
Consumer Reporter: [ laughs ] I don’t understand. I mean, children could seriously cut themselves on any one of these pieces!
Irwin Mainway: Yeah, well, look - you know, the average kid, he picks up, you know, broken glass anywhere, you know? The beach, the street, garbage cans, parking lots, all over the place in any big city. We’re just packaging what the kids want! I mean, it’s a creative toy, you know? If you hold this up, you know, you see colors, every color of the rainbow! I mean, it teaches him about light refraction, you know? Prisms, and that stuff! You know what I mean?
Consumer Reporter: So, you don’t feel that this product is dangerous?
Irwin Mainway: No! Look, we put a label on every bag that says, “Kid! Be careful - broken glass!” I mean, we sell a lot of products in the “Bag O’” line.. like Bag O’ Glass, Bag O’ Nails, Bag O’ Bugs, Bag O’ Vipers, Bag O’ Sulfuric Acid. They’re decent toys, you know what I mean?
Consumer Reporter: Well, I guess we could say that all of your toys are really unsafe and should rightfully be banned from the market. I guess I would just like to know what happened to the good ol’ teddy bear.
Irwin Mainway: Hold on a minute, sister. I mean, we make a teddy bear. It’s right here. [ picks up giant teddy bear ] It’s got a nice little feature here, you see? I’ll hold it up here. We call it a Teddy Chainsaw Bear. [ revs chainsaw in teddy bear’s stomach ] I mean, a kid plays with saws, he can cut logs with it, you know what I mean.
Consumer Reporter: Well, this is certainly a very sad situation. One of the precious joys of Christmas warped by a ruthless profiteer like yourself.
Irwin Mainway: Well, that’s just your opinion, you know what I mean?
Consumer Reporter: Well, I just don’t understand why you can’t make harmelss toys like these alphabet blocks. [ points to blocks ]
Irwin Mainway: C’mon, this is harmless? Alright, okay, you call this harmless? [ holds block in hand ] I mean.. [ plays with block and fakes injury ] Aagghh!! I got a splinter in here, look at that! This is wood! This is unsanded wood, it’s rough!
Consumer Reporter: Alright, that’s enough of this ridiculous display. [ holds toy phone ] Here is another creative toy, safe enough for a baby!
Irwin Mainway: [ grabs phone ] You say it’s safe, I mean, look at this cord.. the kid is on the phone - “Hello? Hello?” - then.. [ twists cord around his neck, screams, and falls backward in chair ] You know what I mean? It’s an example! You see my point, a dangerous toy like that?
Consumer Reporter: Well, let’s try this one. What about this little foam play ball? I mean, even you, Mr. Mainway, can’t find anything dangerous about this. Huh?
Irwin Mainway: [ takes ball, bounces it on table, then shoves it in his throat and feigns choking ]
Consumer Reporter: That’s all the time we have for “Consumer Probe” this week.
[ show fades black ]
http://snltranscripts.jt.org/76/76jconsumerprobe.phtml
RIP OFF LOL!
What you going name the next project
Alan Parson Project LOL!
OR YES
Ok, Darth!
I can almost guarantee if you order it from Hong Kong you will get it. I ordered an "illegal" 400mW Green Laser from a Hong Kong website "www.dragonlasers.com". They sent me an email saying not to worry if it was seized at customs, they would just keep resending it until it made it through. I received it first shot, no problems.
That’s not the best Photoshop work I’ve ever seen. Is it melting or something, lol?
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