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JUDGE ORDERS ALL GAYS TO BE MARRIED
Weekly World News ^ | August 5th, 2010 | Frank Lake

Posted on 8/5/2010, 3:52:59 PM by Mojave

SAN FRANCISCO - After a judge overturned California’s same-sex marriage ban, he ordered all gays married “by next year.”

U.S. District Judge Vaughn Walker toppled California’s Proposition 8 yesterday. Gays and lesbians celebrated all across the state. Opponents planned to seek a reversal at the Ninth U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals.

The Californians who had no opinion on the Judge’s decision – remained steadfast in being clueless. One apathetic surfer said, “dude, I don’t care about marriage. I’m just glad the dude legalized pot.” The surfer was incorrect, the Judge did not make any ruling about marijuana. Yet…

But Judge Walker didn’t stop at just overturning Prop 8, he had more to say on the issue. “I am a strong believer in marriage. It’s good for everyone and good for the country. Therefore, I am hereby ordering ALL single gay men and lesbians to be married by this time next year.”

Many gays and lesbians were outraged by Judge Walker’s bizarre proclamation. “Why do I have to get married?” said thirty-year-old Val Trinkley. “I’m in my prime. I don’t want to settle down yet!” Val’s current partner, Randall Marcus, turned to Val and said, “Well, that’s news to me, honey. I thought you said I was the one?”

Val and Randall were last seen screaming at each other at a bus stop on Castro Street. Randall was crying – but according to Val, “he’s always crying!”

(Excerpt) Read more at weeklyworldnews.com ...


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: lavendermafia; pravdamedia

1 posted on 8/5/2010, 3:53:00 PM by Mojave
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To: Mojave

But as the days of Noah were, so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.

For as in the days that were before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noah entered into the ark,

And knew not until the flood came, and took them all away; so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.”

And as it was in the days of Noah, so shall it be also in the days of the Son of man.

They did eat, they drank, they married wives, they were given in marriage, until the day that Noah entered into the ark, and the flood came, and destroyed them all.”


2 posted on 8/5/2010, 4:01:30 PM by TaraP (He never offered our victories without fighting but he said help would always come in time)
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To: TaraP

In related news, several busloads of divorce lawyers were seen heading into California. As one lawyer said, “First comes marriage, then comes divorce, then comes… a big paycheck for me!”


3 posted on 8/5/2010, 4:04:04 PM by Mojave (Ignorant and stoned - Obama's natural constituency.)
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To: TaraP

Likewise also as it was in the days of Lot; they did eat, they drank, they bought, they sold, they planted, they builded;

But the same day that Lot went out of Sodom it rained fire and brimstone from heaven, and destroyed them all.”

I tell you, in that night there shall be two men in one bed; the one shall be taken, and the other shall be left.

Two women shall be grinding together; the one shall be taken, and the other left.

Two men shall be in the field; the one shall be taken, and the other left


4 posted on 8/5/2010, 4:04:25 PM by TaraP (He never offered our victories without fighting but he said help would always come in time)
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To: Mojave
Weekly World News

But who will Bat Boy marry?

5 posted on 8/5/2010, 4:04:57 PM by KarlInOhio (Gun control was originally to protect Klansmen from their victims. The basic reason hasn't changed.)
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To: KarlInOhio

Another boy with a bat.


6 posted on 8/5/2010, 4:08:59 PM by Mojave (Ignorant and stoned - Obama's natural constituency.)
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To: TaraP

THANK YOU, FOR BOTH OF YOUR POST......


7 posted on 8/5/2010, 4:10:35 PM by gulfcoast6 (GOD IS)
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To: Mojave
Report: "One apathetic surfer said, “dude, I don’t care about marriage. I’m just glad the dude legalized pot.”

Response: I tend to think this is a true report.

8 posted on 8/5/2010, 4:18:27 PM by AEMILIUS PAULUS (It is a shame that when these people give a riot)
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To: gulfcoast6

:)

GOD’s Blessings to you....

May we endure to the end with the Strength of the Holy Spirit...


9 posted on 8/5/2010, 4:20:07 PM by TaraP (He never offered our victories without fighting but he said help would always come in time)
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To: Mojave

LOL


10 posted on 8/5/2010, 4:21:04 PM by nolongerademocrat ("Before you ask G-d for something, first thank G-d for what you already have." B'rachot 30b)
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To: Mojave

Since marriage is now a right... where do I go to get a wife issued to me?


11 posted on 8/5/2010, 4:22:39 PM by Ramius (Personally, I give us... one chance in three. More tea?)
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To: Ramius
Since marriage is now a right... where do I go to get a wife issued to me?

And when do the "Cash for Clunkers" style trade in opportunities start?

12 posted on 8/5/2010, 4:28:40 PM by Mojave (Ignorant and stoned - Obama's natural constituency.)
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To: Mojave
Here is the next thing to come:

All religious ceremonies of marriage will be banned.

The term "marriage" will no longer have legal weight.

From now on, any two persons wishing to join into a civil arrangement will do so during a 10-minute transaction at the local DMV, witnessed by the next two people in line.

Gone will be the wedding planning industry, the wedding reception industry, the cards, gowns, cakes, caterers, and honeymoon industries, etc.

-PJ

13 posted on 8/5/2010, 4:31:55 PM by Political Junkie Too ("Comprehensive" reform bills only end up as incomprehensible messes.)
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To: Ramius
Since marriage is now a right... where do I go to get a wife issued to me?

Careful...You might get issued a husband. Affirmative action, quotas, y'know. Cuz ya don't wanna be called a homophone, or homogenized, or something like that.
14 posted on 8/5/2010, 4:35:56 PM by LearsFool ("Thou shouldst not have been old, till thou hadst been wise.")
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To: Political Junkie Too
From now on, any two persons wishing to join into a civil arrangement will do so during a 10-minute transaction at the local DMV

Or the SEIU Union Hall.

15 posted on 8/5/2010, 4:36:05 PM by Mojave (Ignorant and stoned - Obama's natural constituency.)
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To: Mojave
The Weekly World News - unbiased and unafraid. (And unhinged). I wonder what Ed Anger has to say about this?
16 posted on 8/5/2010, 4:56:23 PM by Billthedrill
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To: Billthedrill

17 posted on 8/5/2010, 5:00:42 PM by Mojave (Ignorant and stoned - Obama's natural constituency.)
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To: Mojave

This is a joke, right?


18 posted on 8/5/2010, 5:34:48 PM by glide625
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To: glide625

Weekly World News


19 posted on 8/5/2010, 5:35:37 PM by Mojave (Ignorant and stoned - Obama's natural constituency.)
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To: Political Junkie Too

And there will be a lot more gone. Perversion will just go on and on and on. Now women who wanted to marry more than one man will cry discrimination if she’s not allowed, same with men who want to marry more than one woman. What about men who want to marry men and women at the same time? People marrying their animals, and some men and/or women may want to marry little children.


20 posted on 8/5/2010, 7:19:13 PM by Jewels7
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