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Shopper: I Was Banned From Safeway Because I Asked For Large Chicken Breasts
consumerist.com ^ | Aug. 20, 2010 | Chris Morran

Posted on 08/24/2010 10:12:17 AM PDT by Free ThinkerNY

A man in Colorado claims he was given the boot -- and a trespassing notice that bans him from the property for one year -- from his local Safeway. But it wasn't over shoplifting or anything like that; he says it was all because of a misunderstanding about his poultry order.

According to the 61-year-old shopper, he recently stopped into the Safeway to purchase some chicken breasts from the deli counter. And when the woman behind the counter asked which ones he preferred, he says he pointed out his selection and said, "I like the large ones."

It's unclear whether or not he had intended on the double entendre, but the man claims the female employee "chuckled" at his statement.

But thinks weren't quite as funny for him the next week. When he approached the deli counter, he saw the woman who had previously served him walk away from the counter, leaving a different female employee to take his order.

He says that this second woman was so rude to him that he felt compelled to complain to the store manager. And that's when he got the earful, he says:

She said, 'The last time you were here, you giggled about this woman's large breasts.' And I said, 'Oh, baloney.' And then she opened up her flip phone and called the police, and I listened to her make up this whole story about me cussing and threatening her.

As he exited the store, the man was stopped by a police officer who issued him a trespassing notice, effectively forbidding him from entering the Safeway for one year.

(Excerpt) Read more at consumerist.com ...


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: 911isajoke; donutwatch; napl; revenuetickets
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1 posted on 08/24/2010 10:12:19 AM PDT by Free ThinkerNY
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To: Free ThinkerNY

vast tracts of chicken.


2 posted on 08/24/2010 10:13:15 AM PDT by WOBBLY BOB (drain the swamp! ( then napalm it and pave it over ))
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To: Free ThinkerNY

He should have ordered ‘four fried chickens and a Coke.’


3 posted on 08/24/2010 10:13:22 AM PDT by dfwgator
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To: Free ThinkerNY

Sound made up, I can only imagine the pictures to follow, in before the pics !!!


4 posted on 08/24/2010 10:14:15 AM PDT by Scythian
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To: Free ThinkerNY

This couldn’t happen in our local Safeway. All the breasts are large ~


5 posted on 08/24/2010 10:15:28 AM PDT by muawiyah
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To: Free ThinkerNY

So what? Shop someplace else.


6 posted on 08/24/2010 10:16:59 AM PDT by pnh102 (Regarding liberalism, always attribute to malice what you think can be explained by stupidity. - Me)
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To: Free ThinkerNY

In college I once wanted to go to the movies. So I called up the taxi company to see how much they charged)18 years old and on a strict budget). So, I asked the lady, “how much do you charge” and she told me I was sick and hung up one me.


7 posted on 08/24/2010 10:17:51 AM PDT by bilhosty (Don' t tax people tax newsprint)
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To: Free ThinkerNY

Chris Rock - “The Big Piece of Chicken” - NSFW

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Cn8sczZTZ4


8 posted on 08/24/2010 10:18:02 AM PDT by JerseyHighlander
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To: Free ThinkerNY

At least he wasn’t COSTCO’d.


9 posted on 08/24/2010 10:18:22 AM PDT by Deaf Smith
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To: muawiyah

but do the chickens have large talons?


10 posted on 08/24/2010 10:18:22 AM PDT by WOBBLY BOB (drain the swamp! ( then napalm it and pave it over ))
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To: Free ThinkerNY

Don’t believe it.


11 posted on 08/24/2010 10:19:37 AM PDT by svcw (Everyday the enemy tries to offer you an apple, when God has already given us an orchard.)
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To: Free ThinkerNY
But thinks weren't quite as funny for him the next week.

thinks? LOL. things......

12 posted on 08/24/2010 10:20:20 AM PDT by b4its2late (Ignorance allows liberalism to prosper.)
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To: Free ThinkerNY

Sounds like he was unlucky enough to have run into a femanazi liberal looking to be offended by the first man who came in.


13 posted on 08/24/2010 10:21:54 AM PDT by Blood of Tyrants (Islam is the religion of Satan and Mohammed was his minion.)
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To: Free ThinkerNY

14 posted on 08/24/2010 10:22:30 AM PDT by paulycy (Demand Constitutionality Now: Islamo-Marxism is Evil.)
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To: Free ThinkerNY
The Mosque? Hey, we have the First Amendment!! You can't stop it! In fact, we have an obligation to allow this offensive act in order to show our tolerance and to show how much we value our First Amendment rights!!

Oh, the guy making a wise crack about the chicken? Send him to the re-education camps. That creep is a menace to society. We don't have to put up with his kind.

15 posted on 08/24/2010 10:23:22 AM PDT by ClearCase_guy
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To: Slings and Arrows

Psssst....over here. :)


16 posted on 08/24/2010 10:23:27 AM PDT by Allegra (Pablo is very wily.)
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To: Free ThinkerNY

First ... if the guy remembered the lady and the incident, he probably was actually making a big-breast-related joke. If he were just asking for chicken, he wouldn’t have recalled anything.

Second — people need to lighten up. There isn’t a man in this country that hasn’t made a breast/leg/thigh joke when ordering chicken. There was an old episode of the Cosby Show that made a bunch of them.

[They were having a fried chicken cookout. Elvin, Theo and the Navy guy were in trouble for planning a bachelor pary with strippers. Elvin ordered chicken wings because he got a dirty look from the wife when he started to say “breast”. He later got fed up ... “Why am I eating this sad chicken wing?! I want a breast!! A big one!!!]

Personally ... I’m a breast man.

SnakeDoc


17 posted on 08/24/2010 10:24:03 AM PDT by SnakeDoctor ("Shut it down" ... 00:00:03 ... 00:00:02 ... 00:00:01 ... 00:00:00.)
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To: Deaf Smith

That was my first thought too - “Well, lucky he wasn’t shopping at Costco”.


18 posted on 08/24/2010 10:25:11 AM PDT by 21twelve ( UNINTENDED CONSEQUENCES MY ARSE: "..now begin the work of remaking America."-Obama, 1/20/09)
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To: Free ThinkerNY

This is outrageous.
I’ve occasionally made the same spontaneous unintentional jokes about large breasts everywhere from KFC to the A&P, and nothing every happened to me.
——oh wait, I hear the doorbell ringing.......


19 posted on 08/24/2010 10:25:33 AM PDT by supremedoctrine ("Every election is like an advance auction sale of stolen goods"--H.L.Mencken)
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To: Free ThinkerNY

The man is always wrong. You have no defense.
The woman should be in jail for harassing. Never happen.


20 posted on 08/24/2010 10:27:59 AM PDT by Leftism is Mentally Deranged (Annoying liberals is my goal. I will not be silenced.)
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To: Free ThinkerNY

Everyone here should carry a voice activated recorder around with them!!!!!!

especially when dealing with stupid people or liberals (often the same)


21 posted on 08/24/2010 10:28:25 AM PDT by Mr. K (Physically unable to proofreed (<---oops! see?))
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To: Free ThinkerNY

Next time he should order the large chicken thighs from the same woman. Some people have no sense of humor and get in a wad over nothing. Then again if the guy has a creepy manner about him then par for the course.


22 posted on 08/24/2010 10:29:09 AM PDT by tflabo
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To: supremedoctrine

Good think I never had to order “Two tickets to Pittsburgh.”


23 posted on 08/24/2010 10:31:30 AM PDT by dfwgator
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To: Free ThinkerNY

This is obviously a hate crime against women, blacks, hispanics, muslims and transexuals! As a 61 year old white male, he needs to put away for a long time for crimes against humanity. He must be white because no other race would be this insensitive!


24 posted on 08/24/2010 10:31:40 AM PDT by albie
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To: Free ThinkerNY

Soooo... what’s the acceptable way to ask for large chicken breasts?


25 posted on 08/24/2010 10:33:29 AM PDT by dbwz (DISSENT IS PATRIOTIC)
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To: WOBBLY BOB

Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
CUSTOMER: Here’s one — nine pence.
DEAD PERSON: I’m not dead!
MORTICIAN: What?
CUSTOMER: Nothing — here’s your nine pence.
DEAD PERSON: I’m not dead!
MORTICIAN: Here — he says he’s not dead!
CUSTOMER: Yes, he is.
DEAD PERSON: I’m not!
MORTICIAN: He isn’t.
CUSTOMER: Well, he will be soon, he’s very ill.
DEAD PERSON: I’m getting better!
CUSTOMER: No, you’re not — you’ll be stone dead in a moment.
MORTICIAN: Oh, I can’t take him like that — it’s against regulations.
DEAD PERSON: I don’t want to go in the cart!
CUSTOMER: Oh, don’t be such a baby.
MORTICIAN: I can’t take him...
DEAD PERSON: I feel fine!
CUSTOMER: Oh, do us a favor...
MORTICIAN: I can’t.
CUSTOMER: Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won’t
be long.
MORTICIAN: Naaah, I got to go on to Robinson’s — they’ve lost nine
today.
CUSTOMER: Well, when is your next round?
MORTICIAN: Thursday.
DEAD PERSON: I think I’ll go for a walk.
CUSTOMER: You’re not fooling anyone y’know. Look, isn’t there
something you can do?
DEAD PERSON: I feel happy... I feel happy.
[whop]
CUSTOMER: Ah, thanks very much.
MORTICIAN: Not at all. See you on Thursday.
CUSTOMER: Right.
[clop clop]
MORTICIAN: Who’s that then?
CUSTOMER: I don’t know.
MORTICIAN: Must be a king.
CUSTOMER: Why?
MORTICIAN: He hasn’t got shit all over him.

Scene 3

[clop clop]
ARTHUR: Old woman!
DENNIS: Man!
ARTHUR: Old Man, sorry. What knight live in that castle over there?
DENNIS: I’m thirty seven.
ARTHUR: What?
DENNIS: I’m thirty seven — I’m not old!
ARTHUR: Well, I can’t just call you `Man’.
DENNIS: Well, you could say `Dennis’.
ARTHUR: Well, I didn’t know you were called `Dennis.’
DENNIS: Well, you didn’t bother to find out, did you?
ARTHUR: I did say sorry about the `old woman,’ but from the behind
you looked—
DENNIS: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior!
ARTHUR: Well, I AM king...
DENNIS: Oh king, eh, very nice. An’ how’d you get that, eh? By
exploitin’ the workers — by ‘angin’ on to outdated imperialist dogma
which perpetuates the economic an’ social differences in our society!
If there’s ever going to be any progress—
WOMAN: Dennis, there’s some lovely filth down here. Oh — how d’you do?
ARTHUR: How do you do, good lady. I am Arthur, King of the Britons.
Who’s castle is that?
WOMAN: King of the who?
ARTHUR: The Britons.
WOMAN: Who are the Britons?
ARTHUR: Well, we all are. we’re all Britons and I am your king.
WOMAN: I didn’t know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous
collective.
DENNIS: You’re fooling yourself. We’re living in a dictatorship.
A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes—
WOMAN: Oh there you go, bringing class into it again.
DENNIS: That’s what it’s all about if only people would—
ARTHUR: Please, please good people. I am in haste. Who lives
in that castle?
WOMAN: No one live there.
ARTHUR: Then who is your lord?
WOMAN: We don’t have a lord.
ARTHUR: What?
DENNIS: I told you. We’re an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take
it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week.
ARTHUR: Yes.
DENNIS: But all the decision of that officer have to be ratified
at a special biweekly meeting.
ARTHUR: Yes, I see.
DENNIS: By a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs,—
ARTHUR: Be quiet!
DENNIS: —but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more—
ARTHUR: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!
WOMAN: Order, eh — who does he think he is?
ARTHUR: I am your king!
WOMAN: Well, I didn’t vote for you.
ARTHUR: You don’t vote for kings.
WOMAN: Well, ‘ow did you become king then?
ARTHUR: The Lady of the Lake,
[angels sing]
her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur
from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I,
Arthur, was to carry Excalibur.
[singing stops]
That is why I am your king!
DENNIS: Listen — strange women lying in ponds distributing swords
is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power
derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical
aquatic ceremony.
ARTHUR: Be quiet!
DENNIS: Well you can’t expect to wield supreme executive power
just ‘cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
ARTHUR: Shut up!
DENNIS: I mean, if I went around sayin’ I was an empereror just
because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me they’d
put me away!
ARTHUR: Shut up! Will you shut up!
DENNIS: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.
ARTHUR: Shut up!
DENNIS: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system!
HELP! HELP! I’m being repressed!
ARTHUR: Bloody peasant!
DENNIS: Oh, what a give away. Did you here that, did you here that,
eh? That’s what I’m on about — did you see him repressing me,
you saw it didn’t you?

Scene 4


26 posted on 08/24/2010 10:36:13 AM PDT by 240B (he is doing everything he said he wouldn't and not doing what he said he would)
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To: Scythian

27 posted on 08/24/2010 10:36:40 AM PDT by historyrepeatz
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To: Free ThinkerNY

This thread is useless without the RACES of the people involved in the ‘misunderstanding’.


28 posted on 08/24/2010 10:38:19 AM PDT by DCPatriot ("It aint what you don't know that kills you. It's what you know that aint so" Theodore Sturgeon))
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To: Free ThinkerNY

I think we will need Alton Brown to get to the bottom of this. Are large breasts or juicy thighs better to simmer with?


29 posted on 08/24/2010 10:39:40 AM PDT by IamConservative (Two wrongs don't make a right, but you might get even.)
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To: Free ThinkerNY
Imagines how red-faced I got when I asked a girl working in a pet store if she had Happy Hips. (A chicken jerky with vitamins good for dog's hips)
30 posted on 08/24/2010 10:40:22 AM PDT by NavyCanDo
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To: Free ThinkerNY

On August 21, 2011 I’d return and ask for two of the nice legs right there.


31 posted on 08/24/2010 10:41:50 AM PDT by goseminoles
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To: Allegra; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; Darksheare; OSHA; martin_fierro; ...
I had the same thing happen to me at the Waffle House: When they asked me how I wanted my hash browns, I told them "Like my women - smothered and covered."


32 posted on 08/24/2010 10:47:28 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows (Waffle)
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To: Blood of Tyrants

Maybe. And maybe he’s a jerk. Fact is, we don’t know. It all depends on what was actually said, and how he said it.

He’s making a big deal out of it, so he may be wanting attention.


33 posted on 08/24/2010 10:50:20 AM PDT by Jedidah
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To: Free ThinkerNY
Jerry Clower - "The Last Piece Of Chicken".
34 posted on 08/24/2010 10:52:33 AM PDT by TomServo
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To: Free ThinkerNY
He should have asked for Spam...
35 posted on 08/24/2010 10:53:49 AM PDT by JRios1968 (The real first rule of Fight Club: don't invite Chuck Norris...EVER)
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To: NavyCanDo
Last Christmas my wife and I were on a hunt for action figures of the two main character from Toy Story for our grandson. We found Buzz Lightyear easily enough but could not find the other one.

So my wife was saying "I need a Woody! I need a Woody! Honey go ask them if they have a Woody.", pointing at the two college age employees of the store, one male and one female.

I told her I could not ask ANY employee about having a Woody, or we would be thrown out and I would prbably be required to register as a sex offender. Only after say that a couple of times did she realize what she had been saying, loudly I might add, as the store was crowded that day.

True story.

36 posted on 08/24/2010 10:53:56 AM PDT by 5thGenTexan
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To: paulycy

In Downingtown, PA, there is a Dicks next to a BJs in a strip mall.


37 posted on 08/24/2010 10:57:03 AM PDT by ConservativeWarrior (In last year's nests, there are no birds this year.)
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To: 5thGenTexan

Do you like fishsticks?


38 posted on 08/24/2010 10:58:31 AM PDT by ConservativeWarrior (In last year's nests, there are no birds this year.)
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To: SnakeDoctor
First ... if the guy remembered the lady and the incident, he probably was actually making a big-breast-related joke. If he were just asking for chicken, he wouldn’t have recalled anything.

That is an assumption without any independent support. Maybe he did, maybe he didn't, but there is nothing in the story to indicate he isn't telling the truth.

39 posted on 08/24/2010 11:00:57 AM PDT by CA Conservative
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To: Free ThinkerNY
that's nothing, I was in the hospital, in Seattle, St. Vincents, for surgery about 15 years ago. I was required to walk right after surgery and was feeling a little weak. This nurse had me get out of bed and I felt dizzy and almost fell over and gabbed the nearest thing to keep from falling which, of course, was the nurse. I didn't grab anything personal, just her arms and as soon as the dizziness passed I let go of her.

She complained that I had sexually attacked her and asked that another nurse take over my case.

It happens in this day and age of PC and sexual harassment brain washing of our women.

40 posted on 08/24/2010 11:01:14 AM PDT by calex59
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To: 5thGenTexan

No one ran up to you and gave you a little blue pill??


41 posted on 08/24/2010 11:01:31 AM PDT by rednesss (fascism is the union,marriage,merger or fusion of corporate economic power with governmental power)
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To: Free ThinkerNY

Dirty Old Man !


42 posted on 08/24/2010 11:02:06 AM PDT by TexasCajun
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To: Free ThinkerNY

Someone needs to post the location of this store.

I guarantee once word gets out their chicken sales will be through the roof with every smartass in town coming in to order a couple of the impressive breasts they have there.


43 posted on 08/24/2010 11:02:48 AM PDT by Abathar (Proudly posting without reading the article carefully since 2004)
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To: ConservativeWarrior
I heard that!


44 posted on 08/24/2010 11:03:14 AM PDT by rednesss (fascism is the union,marriage,merger or fusion of corporate economic power with governmental power)
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To: Free ThinkerNY

http://blogs.westword.com/latestword/2010/08/man_gets_trespassing_notice_for_telling_deli_clerk_he_likes_large_chicken_breasts.php

According to the above link, the first woman was “heavy-set” and the second one was “extremely surly”.


45 posted on 08/24/2010 11:04:15 AM PDT by archivist007
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To: Free ThinkerNY

At least he didn’t get hisself shot.


46 posted on 08/24/2010 11:06:10 AM PDT by ichabod1 (Hail Mary Full of Grace, The Lord Is With Thee...)
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To: Free ThinkerNY

No boobs for you. One year!


47 posted on 08/24/2010 11:06:44 AM PDT by ichabod1 (Hail Mary Full of Grace, The Lord Is With Thee...)
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To: Abathar

“I guarantee once word gets out their chicken sales will be through the roof with every smartass in town coming in to order a couple of the impressive breasts they have there.”

The only safe thing for a guy to do is order 2 fried eggs on a hook!


48 posted on 08/24/2010 11:08:36 AM PDT by dalereed
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To: supremedoctrine

Like the old Hillary Special - Two small breasts, two LARGE thighs, and a whole mess o’ left wings.


49 posted on 08/24/2010 11:09:14 AM PDT by ichabod1 (Hail Mary Full of Grace, The Lord Is With Thee...)
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To: Free ThinkerNY

In college, I had a very well-endowed female classmate named “Patricia Purdue.” I refered to her as “Patty Purdue and her oven stuffer roasters.”


50 posted on 08/24/2010 11:09:15 AM PDT by matt1234 (The only crisis 0bama can manage is one he intentionally created.)
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