Deputies: Man tries to steal 6 steaks by putting them down his shorts

wtsp.com ^ | Aug. 27, 2010 | Janie Porter

[Free ThinkerNY]

Spring Hill, Florida - Hernando County Sheriff's deputies say a man tried to steal six steaks, Vaseline and pomegranate juice by stuffing them in his shorts.

Employees at Publix say they saw Mark Alan Belkola, 51, select "six individual packs of steaks" and conceal them down the front of his shorts, according to the offense report.

The Publix is located on the 4,100 block of Mariner Boulevard in Spring Hill.

Deputies say they also found Vaseline and a bottle of Pomegranate juice in Belkola's shorts pocket.

[donhunt]

I ain’t eating at his house anymore.

[Rome2000]

Everybody knows 4 steaks down the shorts is the maximum.

[mowowie]

I’m trying to think of how the pomegranate juice fits into all of this.

[mowowie]

LOL

[JPG]

Alright, let's pull these out, write it down, Sarge, we've got six steaks and a sausage. Wait, make that six steaks.

[csvset]

Deputies say they also found Vaseline and a bottle of Pomegranate juice in Belkola's shorts pocket.

It sounds even creepier now.

[OCC]

a man tried to steal six steaks, Vaseline and pomegranate juice by stuffing them in his shorts

Shoot, a fella' could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff.

[haroldeveryman]

“Deputies say they also found Vaseline and a bottle of Pomegranate juice in Belkola’s shorts pocket.”

I guess he was going that extra mile to impress his date.

[TheOldLady]

Doesn’t look like Huffer Guy.

[Pearls Before Swine]

He looks too old to say he was stealing the steaks because he was pledging a fraternity a la Animal House.

[twhitak]

Where’s the beef?

[flaglady47]

Guy is probably out of work and needs a good meal. He should have swiped wine to go with the steaks, not pomegranite juice.

[The Antiyuppie]

They were probably pretty cold. Shrinkage, on top of getting caught.

[Krankor]

He probably needed the Vaseline to slide that last steak in there.

[katana]

Getting steaks for cooking back at the apartment north of campus, if we needed six we'd send out 3 guys to the Big Bear Store (huge former roller rink - zilch surveillance) and have them pack two each on their persons, one above each butt cheek in back (for the squeamish, they were wrapped in plastic and we were HUNGRY!) in the belt and under the shirt and jacket. Buy a pack of gum at the front, check out, and head on home to watch the Michigan game.

Don't they teach basic living skills anymore?

[tal hajus]

Maybe he didn’t have any meat in his pants already.

[badgerlandjim]

See what happened recently in Chicago...

[silverleaf]

I ain’t eating at his house anymore.

You don't know what you may be missing. I hear you can't beat his meat!

[RichInOC]

“Guys! Beef: It’s what’s for dinner! Who wants some man meat?”
“I do! I want some man meat!”
“Michael, Dwight would like your man meat.”
“Well then, my man meat he shall have!”