[STARWISE]

My wonderful FRiends, please accept my tremendous gratitude and deeply heartfelt appreciation for the outpouring of prayers you all sent for my dear Mom and our family.

I can’t tell you how greatly those prayers held me up and strengthened me during the saddest and most agonizing weeks of my life. I know I couldn’t have been at my Mother’s side, holding her hand every day, watching life very slowly and painfully ebb from her without the fortitude and the God-blessed steel those prayers gave me.

It's taken me awhile to let those weeks slowly replay and sink in. As I cried to one of my children: my Mommy is gone. No matter how old we or they are, that one figure is such a central person in our lives. There is and will be a hole in our hearts always after the death of our Mother or Father.

It was SO very tough, as she truly suffered, and she was finally taken off the IV saline we approved in the absence of her disappearing appetite. The saline eventually swelled her hands and feet, and ultimately was improving nothing, except to salve the family’s firm belief that she not be starved or deprived of nourishment.

I think I’ve reconsidered my views on that now, as I see that God has designed everything for His precious creation, including a natural process for our physical bodies when the end time nears. And why would our merciful Lord not have thought of everything.

The last week, there were times when even the hourly low dose morphine to somewhat soothe the agony of a body wracked with waning body function, consumed with the pain of arthritis and lying immobile in one position for over a month wasn’t enough. Every inch of her was afire with pain.

And that’s the worst .. the memories of her pain and crying out will haunt me for a long time. At first, I didn’t understand her crying for her brothers and her Mother were from pain. I thought it was delirium. I now know I was wrong. She was crying for help . . for relief. Lord, please, please forgive me for not knowing it in my early days there and doing more when she cried out.

In the end, I was praying for relief and her release from the pain and fear also .. come, Holy Spirit, come. Years ago, I asked for prayers for her quadruple bypass, and I was so grateful for them. She was 85 then and did well, and now her heart was unstoppable .. beating ever strong and steady. She defied all the nurse’s and aide’s seasoned expectations, and kept on days and days longer than they anticipated. Her heart was defiantly doing its job.

Thank you again so very much for thinking of me, your prayers for my Mom especially, and for me and our family. I know with absolute certainty I would’ve been incapable of seeing, hearing .. witnessing all that I did every day for over 2 weeks and afterward without those blessed prayers behind me, bolstering me.

Prayer is so amazingly powerful .. just know that to your core. God is SO merciful, and I did have such an amazing miracle from His mercy... more than one really, but this was truly jaw dropping... if not a shock.

I would be dropped off in the morning and picked up around 6 or 6:30 at night. On this day late in the afternoon, out of the blue I said: No, I want to be here for the 6pm pain dosing .. make it 6:05. I hadn’t premeditated it .. it just came out.. from somewhere, without thinking.

Around 12-13 minutes to 6, I called in one of the aides to confirm what I thought was noticeably slowed breathing, and he agreed. The nurse came in and checked, and disagreed. Not 7-8 mins. later, I thought she had stopped breathing, and ran out for an aide. She checked her and ran past me to get the nurse. The same nurse examined her and said … yes, she’s gone. I’m calling it at 6 o’clock.

Sweet, Merciful Jesus .. thank you, thank you, thank you … that I was there. Oh yes, His mercy and grace are infinite, unknowable, indescribable, so powerful .. and prayer is truly, for certain, miraculous. That was all I wanted .. to be with her in her last days, hold her hand. That's my greatest blessing and gift. No one should die alone, no one .. not if it's humanly possible to just be there. She’s thankfully in God’s joyous Heaven, at last .. peaceful, no pain, all love and goodness. The majesty of God and His immense mercy are just simply amazing and glorious. His awesomeness brings one to weeping... we are so small.

I selfishly pray to die in my sleep, please God.

Your prayers were my treasure, my fortress in this very sad time, my FRiends. God bless you dearly for your kindness. Even if we don't post on a prayer thread, just say a little prayer. God listens.

And God bless all those in caregiving positions in nursing homes. They are mostly truly His angels on earth. We were blessed with some dear, tender souls, ministering to my Mom and all those in the nursing home with such loving care. Some, not so much .. but the majority were kind, joking, gentle souls who tried to lift the spirits of their charges while caring for their every human need in their deteriorating, difficult time. We really do become as parents. The circle closes.

Onyx .. such an incredibly dear FRiend updating and praying throughout. Dearest O, thank you so so very much. God bless you ... I love you.

[musicman]

Thank you for the ping and post. I’m glad you are posting here again.

[combat_boots]

Blessings, Starwise. Showers of blessings.

[trooprally]

Your mom is with our Lord. But we still offer prayers for you and your family so whatever needs you have, they will be taken care of.

Seems like after the death of a loved one, everyone comes to offer their condolences and then go back to their lives, leaving the family with a “what do we do now” feeling. Just remember, Your FR family will always be with you.

The Trooprallys

[hoosiermama]

Tears and hugs...It’s the hardest thing we ever do in life...our mommy’s are forever with us. Talk to mine daily (she looks back at me in the mirror).

Am so greatful for the blessings God gave us and whenever I’ve got a concern about dad all I have to ask is “What would mother want me to do!”

Know that she knew you were with her, loved her and always will. ((()))

[RedMDer]

It is a very sad time but, I’m glad that you were able to be with your Mom at her passing into Everlasting Life and I’m sure that she is glad that you were there as well.
You will see each other again. God Bless.

[TASMANIANRED]

Dear Star, my heart is so with you..

Tears are streaming down my face.

I remembered the loss of my own dear Mom almost 30 years ago and the loss of a sister just this past year.

You do pray for them to pass from pain into bliss...but as time passes you will remember with gratitude and joy ever second that you were there to hold hands and for ever extra time you got to say “ I love you”.

Child birth is hard on the Mom but it is also hard on the infant...Being birthed into eternity is sometimes painful too.

I wouldn’t trade the time I spent bathing Mom, spooning ice chips even cleaning her bottom for anything. God gave me the opportunity to give back in love what Mom did for me in love.

You never recover from losing your Mom...in time the ache of those final weeks will fade and happy memories will supplant them. One day every tear will be wiped away.

Your Mom is just fine.. She rests in God’s hand.

Hug’s for your weeping.

[TASMANIANRED]

Dear Star, my heart is so with you..

Tears are streaming down my face.

I remembered the loss of my own dear Mom almost 30 years ago and the loss of a sister just this past year.

You do pray for them to pass from pain into bliss...but as time passes you will remember with gratitude and joy ever second that you were there to hold hands and for ever extra time you got to say “ I love you”.

Child birth is hard on the Mom but it is also hard on the infant...Being birthed into eternity is sometimes painful too.

I wouldn’t trade the time I spent bathing Mom, spooning ice chips even cleaning her bottom for anything. God gave me the opportunity to give back in love what Mom did for me in love.

You never recover from losing your Mom...in time the ache of those final weeks will fade and happy memories will supplant them. One day every tear will be wiped away.

Your Mom is just fine.. She rests in God’s hand.

Hug’s for your weeping.

[azishot]

Your dear mom is with God. May He comfort you and your family, now and always.

[luvie]

Though the death of a parent is always difficult,
it is a day that comes to all of us
and is one we are never prepared for.
She was never alone...she had you...
...and she had the Lord and all his angels.
God give you strength in these difficult days. (((hugs)))

[trisham]

"Sweet, Merciful Jesus .. thank you, thank you, thank you … that I was there. Oh yes, His mercy and grace are infinite, unknowable, indescribable, so powerful .. and prayer is truly, for certain, miraculous. That was all I wanted .. to be with her in her last days, hold her hand. That's my greatest blessing and gift. No one should die alone, no one .. not if it's humanly possible to just be there. She’s thankfully in God’s joyous Heaven, at last .. peaceful, no pain, all love and goodness. The majesty of God and His immense mercy are just simply amazing and glorious. His awesomeness brings one to weeping... we are so small."

********************************

I'm so glad that you were there for your mother when she passed on. I can only imagine how very much it must have meant to her to have you close at such a time, but I believe I can guess how much it meant to you. Bless you, FRiend.

[tubebender]

We will continue our Prayers for you STARWISE and thank you for your kind thoughts.

[Bigg Red]

I am not an overly emotional woman, but your words left me sobbing. I lost my mother in 2007. God bless and keep you. Thank you for your glorious witness.

[caww]

Dearest Father God,

Your word tells us, “Yea though I walk thru the valley of death I will fear no evil for thou art with me, thy rod and thy staff do comfort me”.. comes to mind as I read these words from Starwise. Thank you for sustaining Star, just as we asked that you would, and thank you for your presence as family shared and endured these final steps home with their Mother. Thank you that you took the “sting” of death that we might mourn with Star, in your love, for this great loss..... and trust your hand of comfort and love will sustain and keep Star thru these days , weeks, and months ahead. In Christ’s name and all for His Glory...Amen.

[Smokin' Joe]

May Almighty God give you peace in your heart, the warmth of good memories, and blessings each day. I ask this in the Name of Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, Amen.

[SaraJohnson]

I am sorry your mom suffered, Starwise. No one knows about helping the dying unless they have experience with it. No one goes through that process with a loved one without learning. That means you never know everything to begin with so everything is not perfect even though you want it to be.

If ever you need to go through it again with a loved one you can get a Christian end of life professional to help advise you as to what is going on and what to do. My sister is one of those. It is worth it.

[DJ MacWoW]

Your listening to His voice and staying with your Mom is joyous and beautiful. So few hear Him when He speaks. But you did.

I pray for His continued Blessings in this difficult time of loss. It's not a forever loss but it still hurts.

[etabeta]

Continued prayers for you, STARWISE.

Many of us have lost parents, siblings, spouses. We know exactly the feelings of the moment but we are sustained by the memories, by our faith and by the love of family and friends.

Blessings, etabeta

[Berlin_Freeper]

Your Mom was obviously a very blessed Lady to have you in her life, God Bless you and your family and prayers for your Dear Mother.

[Pinkbell]

Your mom was so blessed to have you. Take solace in that she’s in a batter place, a place where you will both be reunited someday when your work is through. May God bless you and give you strength in the days and weeks ahead.

[Salvation]

We ALL pray for the repose of the soul of your mom.

May her soul and all the souls of the faithful departed,

through the mercy of God, rest in peace.

Please address your prayers to STARWISE;