Posted on 01/14/2011 4:18:40 AM PST by Lucky9teen
YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2011 WHEN:
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don’t have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn’t have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it..
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
12. You’re reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there was not a #9 on this list.
AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.
In @ top half of first page anyhow!
LOL!
The farmer smiled, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.
"Hey, didn't you hear me? Beautiful princess, do whatever you desire?"
"Doesn't sound like a bad deal," said the farmer, "But I'd rather have a talking frog."
Ahhh....the old gerbil self-defense maneuver.
An elderly woman walks the halls of her retirement home wearing nothing but a bathrobe.
She bursts into a male tenant’s room, throws open her robe, and yells “Super Sex!” The man in bed is startled, sits up quickly, eyes wide open, completely speechless. The woman smiles to herself and leaves.
She repeats this process several times, happy to be causing such excitement. Each of her victims responds to her outrageous display and cry of “Super Sex” in the same manner - eyes wide open, startled, and speechless.
She comes to the final room and repeats the act, throwing open her robe and yelling “Super Sex!” Only this time, the room’s occupant isn’t startled at all. He calmly looks her over head to toe with a look of indifference on his face.
After a few seconds, he calmly replies: “Soup, I guess.”
Those clowns were great. I remember one of their jokes:
Q. What is the highest form of animal life?
A. The highest form? That would be the giraffe.
Hi. I’m new.
Well, not NEW new ... just new to this thread.
*squirrel*
Actual facebook reply to post on a friends wall...
(Post) To everyone who is calling for stricter gun laws in light of the tragedy in Tucson, may I offer this little tidbit: If guns kill people, then pencils misspell words, cars drive drunk, and spoons make people fat ! Remember: Hold the person accountable for their actions, not the means they chose to utilize!!! Repost if you agree.
(Response) “Gotta say that if you remove the tools to kill people at will, then you remove the threat altogether. Who cares what makes people fat. I’d sleep better knowing that random people cannot just kick in my door and kill my family by pointing at them! (Jen’s hubby - not Jen posting this)”
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I just have to wonder how living in that la la land of unicorns & rainbows is working out for them.
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