Skip to comments.Why Job-Seeking Is Just Like Dating
Posted on 03/03/2011 8:12:33 PM PST by TheDingoAteMyBaby
What's the best book ever written about looking for a job? According to one career counselor with two decades of experience, it's The Rules: Time Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right, that throwback dating manual published in 1995 that feminists love to hate. Hugely popular, the 192-page volume by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider exhorts women to "let him take the lead" (rule No. 17), "don't talk to a man first" (rule No. 2), and "don't call him and rarely return his calls" (rule No. 5). The main point: Play hard to get.
(Excerpt) Read more at forbes.com ...
I've often had this fantasy of sending Hulk Hogan in for an interview that claims they are looking for someone who is aggressive and let him behave overly aggressive.
"Well, Buddy," he would scream, "Do I get the job? Am I aggressive enough for you??"" And then watch to see if the employer says no or if he timidly agrees to give him the position while politely asking Hulk to remove his grip on the interviewer's tie.
But back to the subject. Maybe women can act the diffident maybe-I-want-this-maybe-I-don't type but I just don't think it would go over well for a man to use it.
That either means I'm the most employed sumbitch on the planet - or the most screwed.
I don't know about that one. Last time I was job-hunting, the potential employer asked me to come at 1:30 on Thursday. I truthfully told him I didn't think that would be possible. He told me to come at 1:30 on Thursday or forget about it. I gulped and said okay.
(I got the job, still work there, and love it.)
I'm calling b.s. on this. I understand the idea of appearing to be in demand but, frankly, I'm draining money while I'm playing coy. This ploy works better when you have a job and you are seeking an upgrade but I really wouldn't advise this for folks who are unemployed.
Years ago at the end of a job interview I was asked “ why should I hire you”. I said the first thing that came to mind, “ If I don’t make you money then fire me”. I was hired.
Now that’s interesting. What if people searched for mates they way they search for jobs?
Well, there would probably be far fewer divorces.
This is the opposite of what a man should do, though I do agree depending on profession, you should act according to those norms.
So are men unemployed and the women employed? :D
I agree, and fewer ill-advised marriages to begin with. As popular as the Rules are with women, I’ve never heard a man’s perspective on the books. It’s fascinating to watch what women do when they need advice about men: They buy books (written by women), ask their mothers, ask their friends, write to Dear Abby, anything except ask an actual man’s opinion.
Peter Griffin Chokes during Job Interview...
Boss: “So where do you see yourself in 5 years”
Peter: (looking at family picture of boss, thinks to himself...’don’t say doing your wife..don’t say doing your wife..don’t say doing your wife’)
“Uhh, doing your son?”
“Why Job-Seeking Is Just Like Dating “
They’re both interviews. And if they both work out right you get something in return.
The money you make from the job you got is taken by the girl you met on the date. LOL
First rule of quitting a job: Don't quit until you have a new one.
I saw the writing on the wall over a year ago at my company (lost benefits, lack of work, going from salary to hourly, etc.) but didn't start looking aggressively until last Nov. after getting the resume polished up. I did a lot of research on a lot of companies and fired out about a dozen resumes, got a hit a week later and went through ten weeks of phone interviews, several face to face meetings, a flight to So. Cal. to the main office (from No. Cal.), reference checks, work product reviews, and due to non-job related circumstances, found myself down in So. Cal. and stopped by the main office again (they were aware I was coming) and after another talk with the President and CFO, (who admitted he had been too busy to check my references), the President looked at me and said, "If we call these references, they are just going to tell me what a great guy you are, right?" which I replied, "Yeah, pretty much."
And he smiled, and said, "Welcome aboard." And stuck out his hand.
They've been working my ass off for three weeks.
And I'm loving life again.
What's my point?
Beats me, but if you are qualified for something, and are looking for a job, and someone's interested and ask you to jump through a few hoops, jump through them at their convenience, meet when they want to meet, take the call when they call.
I got an offer and told them I had to give two weeks notice, and I did, they called back and asked if I could do some site inspections a week before my "official" start date, and I said I had to check with my current employer, and I did, who said fine, and later said if I wanted to quit after a week that would be OK. Point is, I showed respect to my employer, and Both companies saw that, so anyway, I hope I'm just stating the obvious.
Thus endeth the lesson or the experience.
Damn, I haven't bloviated like this for a long time. : )
That's true, but it's partly because most men won't talk in useful ways about how to attract them, unless you count advice like, "Grow big boobs," and "Wear less clothing." I used to try asking the opinions of platonic men friends, but they never told me anything helpful about relationships; they just seemed clueless.
One book that did offer the opinion of a man was He's Just Not That Into You. This told women the hard, cold truth. It encouraged them to recognize when a relationship was hopeless and men were simply using them; it told them they needed to have the pride and strength to break things off and form a healthy relationship in which they would not be used sexually. Hard to argue with anything in it.
Well you have to remember that the person in the article is an OUTPLACEMENT person, that is, he is hired to coach people after they have lost jobs. Although I don’t push it on FR, I am an executive recruiter and if a candidate plays games, that candidate gets a “No” from some person in the hiring chain. It’s okay to not take an interview on an hour’s notice but taking things to the extremes in “The Rules” will keep you on unemployment for a long time.
Statistically, more white men were laid off than any other race/gender group. Women tended to be paid less, so they were easier to keep plus women are more likely to file discrimination claims than white men, most of whom presume that any discrimination claims by white men would be laughed out of court, particularly by anyone besides a white male judge.
I'd agree with that, but I'd guess that white men compromise the majority of the work force, so logically, they would take the largest hit, including your points.
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