Posted on 04/28/2011 5:56:51 PM PDT by BenLurkin
Good choice.
I am sorry for your loss.
If any has tried to change sheets (on a full size bed) with a bedridden person without instructions, you know how difficult it is..
I showed her how to do it in about 3 minutes, to have old linen off and fresh sheets and padding for incontinence on. Its simple with instructions (I am an old nurse).
She said she had been struggling by herself to change bedding and didn't know how simple it really was and you only disturb your patient 2 times...once turning them on one side and then turning them on the other side...I was really disappointed that hospice didn't even show her that, but as another freeper said, you go to hospice to die and do it pain free. Usually a doctor has to notify them that the patient has less than 6 months to live....
As far as I know, the only medication is for pain ( or possibly constipation or such)
Yes, I didn’t really understand the purpose of hospice until my Dad dealt with them. I suppose they have their place, but they are simply about death. It would be nice if there was a group that got as much funding and support that was to help people who are still trying to get well, but are probably terminal. Their families and they still need help. My Mom was a fighter, not a giver upper. She fought her cancer til the last moment. I think she probably helped someone else with her more rare type of cancer, in that she suffered thru some miserable trials (which didn’t work for her, but they learn in the process).
But as soon as hospice understood that she was still willing to take any treatment they said they could not help my Dad. It’s like they funnel you into the death machine when they are ready for you to go (and she was not elderly, she was only 67).
Like you said Hospice has its place...many family's cannot not deal with the type's of care someone needs. Or for some there is no family to care for them...Like with my mother, being a nurse was the only way I was able to care for all her needs. Indwelling catheter, paralysis from the waist down, incision breaking open from the cancer etc. etc. At one point having to replace her catheter because of blockage. Many things can come up near the end that makes it hard to homecare and some people do not want to put their loved one's through that.
Those that can care at home, I find most do it. I had seen in my time working at the hospital, familys that choose not to care for their parent. It's sad but I don't judge them, I don't know what kind of a life they led.
With some people they are not aware of all that is available to them for home care also...I had a hospital bed, special alternating air mattress to help in not getting bed sores, the lab came out once a week to check her blood platelets to see if she could start another round of chemo, there is also for bedridden, a physical therapist available to come in and give range of motion to all joints and help to keep muscles from atrophying. Most of this was paid for my her medicare, but I don't know if it still would be.
She also was 67 when she passed, my father was 85 (or 86) not too sure which, he had acute leukemia..sent into the hospital for the removal of a cancer in his transverse colon and the lab work pre-op picked up a problem that turned out to be the leukemia.
My Mom stayed at home and Dad took care of her (we lived 10 hours away, so while we visited as often as possible, unfortunately I was not there to help all the time. In hindsight, if I had realized how little time she had I would have taken a longer leave of absence and stayed instead of going back home).
Anyway, she had good insurance, and I guess by that time Medicare. Dad took excellent care of her, even tho toward the end she was not mobile. He got her a hospital bed and made sure she was turned regularly, kept clean and comfortable. I think they had a visiting nurse of some sort, but I do remember he complained at one point that sometimes they didn’t show up when they were supposed to. I think it was difficult getting help, but he was determined to keep Mom at home because it was what she wanted.
My Father in Law also cared for my Mother in Law with Alzheimers at home for about 8 years, until he died suddenly of a heart attack. They also had someone who came in a couple of times a week to do a few things, but mostly he did it all. Fortunately she was compliant mostly, and not mobile. It’s not something everyone can do. She died 27 hours after he did.
My wish is to not go to a nursing home, however I trust my husband and my children to make the best decision for me. I don’t want the government doing it. I feel sorry for people who don’t have people in their lives they can trust their life with. What is it they say, raise your kids right, they will be choosing your nursing home? All of mine know exactly how I feel about all of these things and I have no doubt they will respect my wishes. It doesn’t hurt that they all know they will see me again afterwards. ;)
No one knows how long we have, my husband at the age of 51 walked out of the barn when we were putting up hay and died in the back yard of his one and only heart attack. That was a long time ago...I did CPR on him until the ambulance arrived, but we lived in the country, it took them a while and the hospital was about 30 miles away. I take life one day at a time...:O) and have lived to the ripe old age now of 72...
Since I have never been 72 before, I guess I am doing all right.LOL
Oh gosh, that’s a terrible story! I’m so sorry. A hug from here for you. We plan to retire in a rural area and it’s one thing I think of....being far from medical help. On the other hand, my husband had to give me CPR last year, brought me back, he is my hero. Glad I made him take that class 30 years ago.
Bitterly true, in more ways than one.
If there were a suicide pill and a glass of water on the bedside table beside every bed in my old college dorm --- and the pill would kill you without pain, and without any evidence afterward that it was a suicide --- I don't think anybody in my class would have survived til graduation.
My point? Everyone who has lived long enough, realizes that mental/emotional pain can be worse than terminal illness/physical pain, and that everyone, in turbulent or vulnerable points in their lives, has undergone serious emotional pain.
OKing suicide "for those who reasonably need it" (presumably the terminally ill in pain) always, always opens the door for people who don't "need it" --- especially people going through crises in their lives ---- by increasing the opportunities, decreasing the inhibitions, and annihilating the ethic of care.
Furthermore, even those who supposedly do "need it," wouldn't "need it" if they received reasonable pain mnanagement and excellent palliative care, plus (this is important) the satisfying ties with loved ones (low-tech but high-touch) which is the only thing that renders either living or dying human and bearable.
Euthanasia (oops, "right to die" --- always more salable when packaged as a "right") masks a willingness to cut pain meds, food and water, cut caring, and ultimately cut people out of our lives with a little nudge and a big deadly dose.
We've come a long way, baby. We're all fetuses now. How 'bout that.
>> “Furthermore, even those who supposedly do “need it,” wouldn’t “need it” if they received reasonable pain mnanagement and excellent palliative care...” <<
.
Or if our medical “professionals” would share with their patients the fact that most of their degenerative diseases are in fact fully curable without a single drug, by a proper diet along with the already well known healing herbs in sufficiently large quantities to be effective.
But of course, that would endanger their bottom lines, and their personal prestiege.
We have truly become a Culture of Death.
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