Viagra has almost turned Hugh Hefner deaf!

Times of India ^ | Jun 18, 2011, 11.54am IST | Staff

[Red Badger]

Two 21-year-old twins, who were the former lovers of Hugh Hefner have revealed that the 'Playboy' chief has gone partially deaf because he takes too much of Viagra.

Karissa and Kristina Shannon said that 85-year-old womaniser would not stop taking the pill because he does not want to lose his sex drive.

"He said he would rather have sex than have his hearing. He has hearing aids now and even then he can only hear out of one ear," the Sun quoted Karissa as saying.

"You have to lean down and talk into his good ear for him to understand you.

"We could sit right next to him and he wouldn''t have a clue what we said," she added.

The twins, who lived in the magazine mogul's LA mansion for two years, also said that Hefner is losing his memory.

"He kept forgetting our dog''s name," Karissa said

[Lazamataz]

[The Playboy Mansion is] Filthy too. Dog poop all over the filthy rugs. Guests should probably get a typhoid shot before they enter the front door. They should fumigate it and then burn it to the ground.

[USMCPOP]

Girls, I can't hear you. Come a little closer."

[Rinnwald]

Imagine losing your memory, when you have the memory-stack that Hefner had.

Same memory stack as Xaxanthian freedom fighters on the Epsilon 7 prison world: lots of bouncing up and down and being slapped by silicone torture balls.

[MayflowerMadam]

I can’t help but think about people who suck up oxygen and thrive, while decent people struggle every day.

[Lazamataz]

Same memory stack as Xaxanthian freedom fighters on the Epsilon 7 prison world: lots of bouncing up and down and being slapped by silicone torture balls.

Are you auditioning to be my replacement if I die or am banned?

THAT WAS POSITIVELY LAZAMATAZALIAN!!!!!

[Rebelbase]

Hmmm...My 83 year old father has partial hearing loss in the past few years...Hmmm...

[Ditter]

HUH? I didn't understand a word you said. Laz, I need some help with this one.

[Lazamataz]

I have looked at your posts. I suggest we join forces. I believe we could cause Platetectonic Shift Giggles.

[allmendream]

On the subject of Viagra....

An older woman told me it was the bane of her sexual existence.

Previously a gentleman who, with increasing age, was becoming less capable - would sometimes experience a sexual Renaissance where it wasn't all about his member.

After a bit of satisfying (for the woman) play - the man would often find he was more capable than when they started - and all was right with the world.

Now, there is none of that. It is all ‘I got a perma boner and I want to poke at you for an hour’.

Just a bit of advice for all the men out there, and a word of warning to the ladies.

[Lazamataz]

HUH? I didn't understand a word you said. Laz, I need some help with this one.

Trust me, it was funny. I was very careful to approach the leeward side of that joke, and, suspended by only a single wire, used my infrared night vision, on-board backpack Cray supercomputer, and a monkey on peyote and cialis, to inspect the sentence for humor.

We're professionals. We make it look easy. NEVER ATTEMPT THIS AT HOME.

[Grizzled Bear]

They are little more than sperm receptacles.

A better term is "Sexual Spitoon."

[arrdon]

He and Larry Flynt need to be assigned the same pit in hell.

[Lazamataz]

It is all ‘I got a perma boner and I want to poke at you for an hour’.

SPEAK FOR YOURSELF, MISTER!!!!

 

 

i got about 45 seconds

[Ditter]

OK thanks. I guess I got up on the wrong side of the Futon this morning and I am humor impaired. I knew I could count on you , so here it comes. snort))))) (that's all I could manage)

[Lazamataz]

A better term is "Sexual Spitoon."

I'd hit it.

[allmendream]

LOL, well I am pretty sure the little blue pill keeps you ‘in the game’ longer than that.

Disappointed to know that “Laz would hit it” means only a 45 second ‘beat down’. ;)

Ben Franklin's advice to a young man - find an older woman.

http://www.swarthmore.edu/SocSci/bdorsey1/41docs/51-fra.html

Summed up as......

They don't tell, they don't yell, their bellies don't swell, and they are grateful as hell.

[Grizzled Bear]

To be fair, you've hit everything except a knothole in a wooden fence... Never mind.

[GladesGuru]

“They are little more than sperm receptacles.

A better term is “Sexual Spitoon.””

Actually, “semen sump” is more technically correct.

[ErnBatavia]

Old joke: Why do attorneys wear neckties?

...to keep their foreskins from creeping over their shoulders.

[9YearLurker]

That’s okay—old age has almost turned him into a stiff!