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(-:(-:(-:THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD:-):-):-)
Posted on 07/08/2011 6:20:28 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
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To: kevinm13
Freddie falls off of his bicycle and breaks his arm.
1957 - Parents take Freddie to the hospital, get x-rays, arm is set in a cast and 6 weeks later Freddie is fine.
2011 - Parents take Freddie to the hospital, get x-rays, arm is set in a cast. Parents hire a lawyer who sues Schwinn for 20 million dollars because a bicycle is an inherently unstable vehicle and should no be manufactured for minors. Schwinn settles out of court for 7.5 million.
41
posted on
07/08/2011 11:00:45 AM PDT
by
fredhead
(Liberals think globally, reason rectally, act idiotically.)
To: DieNarrin
Subject: FW: How To Silence A Church Gossip
You have probably seen this one before, but it always makes me chuckle.
Mildred, the small town gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church’s morals, kept sticking her nose into other people’s business. Several members did not approve of her extra-curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.
She made a mistake, however, when she accused Frank, a new member, of being an alcoholic, after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town’s only bar one afternoon.
She emphatically told Frank (and several others) that everyone seeing it there WOULD KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOING!
Frank, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and then turned and walked away. He didn’t explain, defend, or deny. He said nothing...
Later that evening, Frank quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred’s house
walked home
...and left it there all night!!!
(You gotta love Frank!)
42
posted on
07/08/2011 11:39:27 AM PDT
by
Arrowhead1952
(zero hates Texas and we hate him back. He ain't my president either.)
To: Lucky9teen
The Truth About Pants and Happiness
43
posted on
07/08/2011 11:43:10 AM PDT
by
GSWarrior
(An economy where everybody makes a living selling each other houses or insurance policies won't work)
Click the Pic
My vicious cat Rocket cruelly cuts one from the herd
It was the one who didn't donate
Become a monthly donor and end FReepathons
44
posted on
07/08/2011 12:00:24 PM PDT
by
TheOldLady
(FReepmail me to get ON or OFF the ZOT LIGHTNING ping list.)
To: kevinm13
“Subject: HIGH SCHOOL 1957 vs. 2011”
Subject: Real Life - Real Story 1957
Six year old boy falls out of tree he's climbing in and lands on a Mesquite tree branch, causing a large Mesquite thorn to lodge in his left forearm. Knowing that it will really hurt when it is pulled out, boy refuses to let Mom touch it. Mom grabs boy and catches bus to town to doctor's office. Doctor, full grown adult male, 'accidentally' steps the boy's foot. He cries out in pain only to find the doctor holding the Mesquite thorn in front of his face yelling, “you made your Mama come all the way down here for this - you'll be lucky if I don't write out a prescription for a good spanking. Now get this silly boy out of here” Boy and mother stop and have an ice cream cone, then catch the bus for home.
2011 Version - I do not have the stamina to write the novel it would take to describe the same event today. Undoubtedly it would involve child protective services, the Arbor Society, numerous lawyers, the doctor losing practice, new insurance regulations, and changes to the mass transit rules.
To: martin_fierro; Lucky9teen; Slings and Arrows
It's a widely held believe that cats invented curling.
46
posted on
07/08/2011 1:16:33 PM PDT
by
Lady Jag
(Keep the 'ICk" in Democratic)
To: Lucky9teen
My Magic Green Hat
The other day I needed to go to the emergency room. Not wanting to sit there for 4 hours, I put on my MAGIC GREEN HAT. When I went into the E.R., I noticed that 3/4 of the people got up and left.
I guess they decided that they weren't that sick after all. Cut at least 3 hours off my waiting time.
Here's the hat:
It also works at DMV. It saved me 5 hours.
At the Laundromat, three minutes after entering, I had my choice of any machine, most still running.
If you live in California , it might cut your wait time at the grocery store.
But...don't try it at McDonald's. The whole crew took off and left out the back door. I never got my order.
47
posted on
07/08/2011 1:20:46 PM PDT
by
onyx
(If you enjoy FR, support it! If you support Sarah Palin & want on her Busy Ping List, let me know.)
To: onyx
LOLOLOLOLOLOL! I want one!
48
posted on
07/08/2011 3:44:56 PM PDT
by
DeoVindiceSicSemperTyrannis
(Want to make $$$? It's easy! Use FR as a platform to pimp your blog for hits!!!)
To: wyokostur
49
posted on
07/08/2011 3:46:24 PM PDT
by
DeoVindiceSicSemperTyrannis
(Want to make $$$? It's easy! Use FR as a platform to pimp your blog for hits!!!)
To: Lucky9teen
50
posted on
07/08/2011 5:03:52 PM PDT
by
Atlantan
To: martin_fierro
Oh GAD!!! If that is not photo-shopped, it’s totally awesome!!
51
posted on
07/08/2011 7:03:12 PM PDT
by
Ronin
("A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves" -- Bertrand de Jouve)
To: Lucky9teen
Last in! Posting remotely, as it turns out, from Wall, South Dakota....driving trip got out of kilter, but hey -- we're staying in the shadow of some Americana....
52
posted on
07/08/2011 7:24:41 PM PDT
by
ErnBatavia
(It's not the Obama Administration....it's the "Obama Regime".)
To: Lucky9teen
I know I am late, but thank you for the silliness. I need it on a Monday!
53
posted on
07/11/2011 1:38:43 PM PDT
by
CSM
(Keeper of the "Dave Ramsey Fan" ping list. FReepmail me if you want your beeber stuned.)
To: Pan_Yan
54
posted on
07/15/2011 9:35:08 PM PDT
by
Pan_Yans Wife
(Utopia is being foisted on Americans for their own good.-- J. Robert Smith)
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