Posted on 07/08/2011 6:20:28 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
The twirling twit tweets at twelve, twisting the twopenny's, twiddling the economy, twinkling the twofold...this twat has created the worst tweedling and twattling in the twenty-first century.
If you had one chance to ask the President of the United States a question, wouldn't you want to make it a really good one? Wouldn't you stay up all night and dig deep into the depths of your soul and mine out that one big political truth you're after? Well, President Obama just finished up hosting the first-ever Twitter Townhall from the White House -- and average Americans were asked to pose questions to the President using the #AskObama hashtag. As you can imagine, the big important questions came out of the woodwork for President Obama, but so did the silly antics.
Sure, there were lots of good, intelligent questions about job creation, oil prices, money for schools, and foreign policy; however, it was really hard not to get totally distracted by the more prominent gut-busting questions for President Obama that probably will never get answered. Oh, Americans on Twitter. You're so funny.
1. Do you get offended when people photoshop themselves with you as if they met you personally?
2. Do you still rock those "mom" jeans that you wore during first pitch?
3. Who let the dogs out?
4. Do you party with Berlusconi?
5. When your wife visited SF I had to pay $30 for parking because my usual lot was closed. Will you reimburse me?
6. If you want chicken wings at 3 am, are you allowed to send Secret Service to go get them?
7. Does honey badger care?
8. Where go the ducks in Central Park in winter?
9. Did you see The Hangover II? Did you like it? Me too.
10. My home printer jams all the time. It's an HP D4160. What do you recommend?
11. Is it true you're so vain you think this tweet is about you?
12. If you knew me, do you think we'd be friends and hang out together all the time? I think so.
13. Can you bail out all the Android developers?
14. Can you command people to stop naming their kids and dogs Bella?
15. Are you a communist?
16. If I vote for you again, will I regret it?
18. Do you like pina coladas?
19. who should we blame for "mad men" not being back until 2012?
20. Do you ever pour yourself a glass of Shiraz, crank up some Bon Iver and just ... y'know ... CRY
21. do u think michelle would like my shoes???
22. are you the foursquare mayor of the white house?
23. Why did you chloroform & duct tape the economy?
24. did casey anthony do it?
25. Do you have your own Obama hope poster hanging in your room?
What would you like to ask the President?
Freddie falls off of his bicycle and breaks his arm.
1957 - Parents take Freddie to the hospital, get x-rays, arm is set in a cast and 6 weeks later Freddie is fine.
2011 - Parents take Freddie to the hospital, get x-rays, arm is set in a cast. Parents hire a lawyer who sues Schwinn for 20 million dollars because a bicycle is an inherently unstable vehicle and should no be manufactured for minors. Schwinn settles out of court for 7.5 million.
Subject: FW: How To Silence A Church Gossip
You have probably seen this one before, but it always makes me chuckle.
Mildred, the small town gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church’s morals, kept sticking her nose into other people’s business. Several members did not approve of her extra-curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.
She made a mistake, however, when she accused Frank, a new member, of being an alcoholic, after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town’s only bar one afternoon.
She emphatically told Frank (and several others) that everyone seeing it there WOULD KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOING!
Frank, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and then turned and walked away. He didn’t explain, defend, or deny. He said nothing...
Later that evening, Frank quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred’s house
walked home
...and left it there all night!!!
(You gotta love Frank!)
Subject: Real Life - Real Story 1957
Six year old boy falls out of tree he's climbing in and lands on a Mesquite tree branch, causing a large Mesquite thorn to lodge in his left forearm. Knowing that it will really hurt when it is pulled out, boy refuses to let Mom touch it. Mom grabs boy and catches bus to town to doctor's office. Doctor, full grown adult male, 'accidentally' steps the boy's foot. He cries out in pain only to find the doctor holding the Mesquite thorn in front of his face yelling, “you made your Mama come all the way down here for this - you'll be lucky if I don't write out a prescription for a good spanking. Now get this silly boy out of here” Boy and mother stop and have an ice cream cone, then catch the bus for home.
2011 Version - I do not have the stamina to write the novel it would take to describe the same event today. Undoubtedly it would involve child protective services, the Arbor Society, numerous lawyers, the doctor losing practice, new insurance regulations, and changes to the mass transit rules.
LOLOLOLOLOLOL! I want one!
Lol. What an idiot.
We all need a good laugh about now.
Rudolph Nureyev dancing “Swine” Lake.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHbGqJ_MonU
Oh GAD!!! If that is not photo-shopped, it’s totally awesome!!
I know I am late, but thank you for the silliness. I need it on a Monday!
ping
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.