Skip to comments.Males Believe Discussing Problems Is A Waste of Time, MU Study Shows
Posted on 08/22/2011 3:27:43 PM PDT by decimon
COLUMBIA, Mo. A new University of Missouri study finds that boys feel that discussing problems is a waste of time.
For years, popular psychologists have insisted that boys and men would like to talk about their problems but are held back by fears of embarrassment or appearing weak, said Amanda J. Rose, associate professor of psychological sciences in the MU College of Arts and Science. However, when we asked young people how talking about their problems would make them feel, boys didnt express angst or distress about discussing problems any more than girls. Instead, boys responses suggest that they just dont see talking about problems to be a particularly useful activity.
Rose and her colleagues conducted four different studies that included surveys and observations of nearly 2,000 children and adolescents. The researchers found that girls had positive expectations for how talking about problems would make them feel, such as expecting to feel cared for, understood and less alone. On the other hand, boys did not endorse some negative expectations more than girls, such as expecting to feel embarrassed, worried about being teased, or bad about not taking care of the problems themselves. Instead, boys reported that talking about problems would make them feel weird and like they were wasting time.
(Excerpt) Read more at munews.missouri.edu ...
Let’s just leave it at that.
Depends on the problem and the less time spent yapping about it, the faster it gets taken care of.
Agreed, there is nothing to discuss here!
Apparently the writer has just met males for the first time. We all already knew this.
You can waste time talking about problems, or you can try to solve them.
Although, sometimes solving them involves talking about them. Someone might have a useful idea, or know where to go/who to talk to to get the problem solved.
eff this, I;m outa here
And where is the Capt Obvious logo when you need it?
“But their partners may just not be interested and expect that other coping mechanisms will make them feel better”
... like finding a broad who isn’t always yammering about sharing.
To the headline: I agree (and am not a guy)
It took a PhD to figure this out. I go comatose discussing ‘problems’ with women.
Well, maybe not. There is a feller at 1600 Pennsylvania that considers dialog in the US House and Senate to be nothing but “ bickering.” He routinely calls for talking to stop so that he alone can fix the problem. Yep, I said that nasty sexist word “he.” So in this ONE exceptional case I find myself in agreement with the pointy-heads in Ivyland: “Just shut up and do it MY way!”
Unless one is seeking a solution, typically all this does is cause you to dwell on the problem and re-create it.
Speaking into existence, to go all kabballah.
Bad news for psychotherapists. But then, they’ve known it for a long time.
On the other hand, many girls are at risk for excessive problem talk, which is linked with depression and anxiety, so girls should know that talking about problems isnt the only way to cope.
Is it only me, or has modern psychology become extremely weird? Maybe because the lack of males in leadership has taken away any balance in the group ...
I asked my husband and he feel asleep.
Heck by the time it has been discussed into the dirt, I'm too damn tired to fix it.
Improvise, adapt, overcome.
I have nothing to say.
Obama, who seems to have a feminine nature, likes to have meetings and discuss problems, it seems to me.
Unless it is with a car or a home theater.
Decades ago, I discovered that if I mentioned finding someone *else* to help solve a problem or get some onerous maintenance job finished, my husband would independently simply solve it or get it done, quietly and without any further discussion.
Males are allergic to asking anyone for a solution. They will do it themselves, thank you very much. It is just like asking for directions. Lost? They will go get a map.
My, my the woman-haters are out in force tonight! Here, all over the Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann, Christine O’Donnell threads. What a delight to be at FR at moments like this.
I love when science is used to prove common sense.
I did note, though, that the author spent a paragraph telling
parents how to correct the problem for girls and boys. Who said it was a problem? That is the issue with these studies. The study was on what triggers men’s thoughts, and in the results, there are ways to fix it.
The comments on this thread = extremely funny.
Grae, yours being both the exception and a very important insight. Uber-liberal males, especially political ones, LIVE to talk about problems. They don’t want to solve them. They just want to jaw. Like calling a beer summit. Obama never apologized to the cop he maligned, but he probably spewed liberal platitudes till the officer’s ears fell off. Obama is a talker, all right, especially when it comes to problems. It’s really all he CAN do.
I think the weirdness has always been there. If a theory can't be verified then it should be classified as theory.
My wife says that I never listen to her, at least I think that’s what she says.
They’re both right—for themselves.
However, you can also under-talk problems so that no plan is ever made...nothing gets done.
A successful couple discovers the right formula.
"Feelings! Didn't your alien masters teach you about those before they sent you to this planet?"
Any woman on a first date knows that she will sit there and listen to a guy yammer on about himself FOR HOURS. Now that I’m an old married woman - married to a lovely man who actually enjoys talking and discussing problems before solving them - I can try to forget how many boring men I listened to. Some of them seem to have joined FR!!
Actually, my Marine will always listen if I need to vent, but his policy is “don’t talk about it, just fix it”.
Most Psychologists are drawing Their beer money out of Medicare & Medicaid.
It kind’a makes you feel all warm & fuzzy like, don’t it, knowing that their right on top of such a heretofore undisclosed commonplace, and sending your Parents the Bill for it in the form of higher co-pays.
My husband read an article once that said women use three times the number of words per day that a man uses. Occasionally my husband will say, “I’ve used my 10,000 words today”... that is when I know he needs some quiet time. ;^)
Well, it sounds like you worked out a great problem-solving strategy!
I don’t want to talk about it!
They aren't women haters at all; they are men.
They put up with incessant chatter out of respect.
Men are hardwired to "fix" things, to be "doers" not talkers.
A great male-female conversation goes this way: "Honey, the toilet is running."
"Did you rattle the handle?"
"Is it backed up?"
"Got it," the man remarks, getting up to retrieve his tool kit and head for the bathroom.
A bad male-female conversation: "Honey, that toilet is really bothering me."
"It's making a squeaking noise and wasting a ton of water. You know, it's going to run up the water bill, I know it! We're in a drought right now..."
"What kind of noise?"
"An obnoxious squeaking noise. Can't you hear it? It kept me up all night last night. Between your snoring and that noise, I had a terrible day at work."
"What kind of squeaking noise?" the man huffs impatiently.
"Didn't you hear me? I told you already. You never listen. That's the problem in this relationship...you don't listen and you don't value me as a person..."
The man, frustrated, gets up to retrieve his tool box, which causes his partner to grow extremely agitated; a squabble ensues, and the toilet is not fixed.
FTR, I'm a woman.
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