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Males Believe Discussing Problems Is A Waste of Time, MU Study Shows
University of Missouri ^ | August 22, 2011 | Unknown

Posted on 08/22/2011 3:27:43 PM PDT by decimon

COLUMBIA, Mo. – A new University of Missouri study finds that boys feel that discussing problems is a waste of time.

“For years, popular psychologists have insisted that boys and men would like to talk about their problems but are held back by fears of embarrassment or appearing weak,” said Amanda J. Rose, associate professor of psychological sciences in the MU College of Arts and Science. “However, when we asked young people how talking about their problems would make them feel, boys didn’t express angst or distress about discussing problems any more than girls. Instead, boys’ responses suggest that they just don’t see talking about problems to be a particularly useful activity.”

Rose and her colleagues conducted four different studies that included surveys and observations of nearly 2,000 children and adolescents. The researchers found that girls had positive expectations for how talking about problems would make them feel, such as expecting to feel cared for, understood and less alone. On the other hand, boys did not endorse some negative expectations more than girls, such as expecting to feel embarrassed, worried about being teased, or bad about not taking care of the problems themselves. Instead, boys reported that talking about problems would make them feel “weird” and like they were “wasting time.”

(Excerpt) Read more at munews.missouri.edu ...


TOPICS: Society
KEYWORDS: males; men; mu; talking; timewasting; umissouri; wasteoftime
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Not that I care.
1 posted on 08/22/2011 3:27:47 PM PDT by decimon
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To: decimon

Let’s just leave it at that.


2 posted on 08/22/2011 3:28:57 PM PDT by americanophile ("this absurd theology of an immoral Bedouin, is a rotting corpse which poisons our lives" - Ataturk)
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To: americanophile

???

WTF cares...


3 posted on 08/22/2011 3:29:55 PM PDT by gunnyg ("A Constitution changed from Freedom, can never be restored; Liberty, once lost, is lost forever...)
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To: decimon

Depends on the problem and the less time spent yapping about it, the faster it gets taken care of.


4 posted on 08/22/2011 3:30:13 PM PDT by cripplecreek (Remember the River Raisin)
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To: decimon

Agreed, there is nothing to discuss here!


5 posted on 08/22/2011 3:30:21 PM PDT by Revolting cat! (Let us prey!)
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To: decimon
She's right.
6 posted on 08/22/2011 3:31:02 PM PDT by hinckley buzzard
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To: decimon

Apparently the writer has just met males for the first time. We all already knew this.


7 posted on 08/22/2011 3:31:12 PM PDT by WhyisaTexasgirlinPA (Maxine Waters tells Tea Party to "go to hell" - no thanks, I have no desire to move to your district)
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To: decimon

You can waste time talking about problems, or you can try to solve them.

Although, sometimes solving them involves talking about them. Someone might have a useful idea, or know where to go/who to talk to to get the problem solved.


8 posted on 08/22/2011 3:33:24 PM PDT by exDemMom (Now that I've finally accepted that I'm living a bad hair life, I'm more at peace with the world.)
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To: decimon

eff this, I;m outa here


9 posted on 08/22/2011 3:33:46 PM PDT by max americana (FUBO NATION 2012 FK BARAK)
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To: decimon

And where is the Capt Obvious logo when you need it?


10 posted on 08/22/2011 3:34:47 PM PDT by Nat Turner (I can see NOVEMBER 2012 from my house....)
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To: decimon
Wow! They beat The Onion with this scoop!
11 posted on 08/22/2011 3:36:46 PM PDT by x
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To: decimon

“But their partners may just not be interested and expect that other coping mechanisms will make them feel better”

... like finding a broad who isn’t always yammering about sharing.


12 posted on 08/22/2011 3:38:59 PM PDT by ArmstedFragg (hoaxy dopey changey)
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To: decimon

To the headline: I agree (and am not a guy)


13 posted on 08/22/2011 3:39:33 PM PDT by svcw
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To: decimon

It took a PhD to figure this out. I go comatose discussing ‘problems’ with women.


14 posted on 08/22/2011 3:43:20 PM PDT by DaxtonBrown (HARRY: Money Mob & Influence (See my Expose on Reid on amazon.com written by me!))
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To: cripplecreek

Well, maybe not. There is a feller at 1600 Pennsylvania that considers dialog in the US House and Senate to be nothing but “ bickering.” He routinely calls for talking to stop so that he alone can fix the problem. Yep, I said that nasty sexist word “he.” So in this ONE exceptional case I find myself in agreement with the pointy-heads in Ivyland: “Just shut up and do it MY way!”


15 posted on 08/22/2011 3:46:47 PM PDT by Graewoulf
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To: decimon

Unless one is seeking a solution, typically all this does is cause you to dwell on the problem and re-create it.

Speaking into existence, to go all kabballah.


16 posted on 08/22/2011 3:47:28 PM PDT by Jewbacca (The residents of Iroquois territory may not determine whether Jews may live in Jerusalem.)
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To: decimon

Bad news for psychotherapists. But then, they’ve known it for a long time.


17 posted on 08/22/2011 3:49:03 PM PDT by Revolting cat! (Let us prey!)
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To: decimon
Money quote:

“On the other hand, many girls are at risk for excessive problem talk, which is linked with depression and anxiety, so girls should know that talking about problems isn’t the only way to cope.”

Is it only me, or has modern psychology become extremely weird? Maybe because the lack of males in leadership has taken away any balance in the group ...

18 posted on 08/22/2011 3:51:46 PM PDT by texas booster (Join FreeRepublic's Folding@Home team (Team # 36120) Cure Alzheimer's!)
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To: americanophile

‘Nuff said.


19 posted on 08/22/2011 3:51:55 PM PDT by Argus
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To: decimon

I asked my husband and he feel asleep.


20 posted on 08/22/2011 3:54:38 PM PDT by fatima (Free Hugs Today:))
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To: decimon
Yes Mam is usually sufficient
21 posted on 08/22/2011 3:54:49 PM PDT by HangnJudge
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To: decimon
How many times is one supposed to answer the same question at 3 in the morning, that you already discussed at 6, 8, 9, 10 and 11 pm?

Heck by the time it has been discussed into the dirt, I'm too damn tired to fix it.

22 posted on 08/22/2011 3:56:48 PM PDT by Kakaze (Exterminate Islamofacism and apologize for nothing....except not doing it sooner!)
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To: decimon

Improvise, adapt, overcome.


23 posted on 08/22/2011 4:02:06 PM PDT by glock rocks ( I like Palin, but < insert PDS here >)
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To: decimon

I have nothing to say.


24 posted on 08/22/2011 4:03:23 PM PDT by FightforFreedomCA (It starts here! It starts now! Mr. President, game on!)
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To: WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
The look of utter boredom in a guy's eyes when you say: "We need to have a discussion about this realtionship." tipped you off, did it?
25 posted on 08/22/2011 4:04:33 PM PDT by reformedliberal
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To: decimon

Obama, who seems to have a feminine nature, likes to have meetings and discuss problems, it seems to me.


26 posted on 08/22/2011 4:06:45 PM PDT by Signalman
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To: decimon

Unless it is with a car or a home theater.


27 posted on 08/22/2011 4:10:22 PM PDT by ThomasThomas ( Congressmen should wear uniforms like NASCAR drivers, so we can identify their corporate sponsors.)
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To: exDemMom

Decades ago, I discovered that if I mentioned finding someone *else* to help solve a problem or get some onerous maintenance job finished, my husband would independently simply solve it or get it done, quietly and without any further discussion.

Males are allergic to asking anyone for a solution. They will do it themselves, thank you very much. It is just like asking for directions. Lost? They will go get a map.


28 posted on 08/22/2011 4:11:12 PM PDT by reformedliberal
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To: DaxtonBrown

My, my the woman-haters are out in force tonight! Here, all over the Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann, Christine O’Donnell threads. What a delight to be at FR at moments like this.

YUCKO!


29 posted on 08/22/2011 4:12:20 PM PDT by miss marmelstein (Run, Sarah, Run! Please!)
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To: decimon

"On and on she talks, each utterance more useless than the last..."

30 posted on 08/22/2011 4:12:35 PM PDT by Snickering Hound
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To: WhyisaTexasgirlinPA

I love when science is used to prove common sense.

I did note, though, that the author spent a paragraph telling
parents how to correct the problem for girls and boys. Who said it was a problem? That is the issue with these studies. The study was on what triggers men’s thoughts, and in the results, there are ways to fix it.


31 posted on 08/22/2011 4:12:35 PM PDT by Raider Sam (They're on our left, right, front, and back. They aint gettin away this time!)
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To: Graewoulf; All

The comments on this thread = extremely funny.

Grae, yours being both the exception and a very important insight. Uber-liberal males, especially political ones, LIVE to talk about problems. They don’t want to solve them. They just want to jaw. Like calling a beer summit. Obama never apologized to the cop he maligned, but he probably spewed liberal platitudes till the officer’s ears fell off. Obama is a talker, all right, especially when it comes to problems. It’s really all he CAN do.


32 posted on 08/22/2011 4:12:35 PM PDT by Fantasywriter
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To: texas booster
Is it only me, or has modern psychology become extremely weird?

I think the weirdness has always been there. If a theory can't be verified then it should be classified as theory.

33 posted on 08/22/2011 4:12:42 PM PDT by decimon
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To: Snickering Hound

My wife says that I never listen to her, at least I think that’s what she says.


34 posted on 08/22/2011 4:13:27 PM PDT by dfwgator
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To: decimon

They’re both right—for themselves.


35 posted on 08/22/2011 4:13:36 PM PDT by 9YearLurker
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To: decimon
Yes, you can over-talk problems so that all is talk...nothing gets done.

However, you can also under-talk problems so that no plan is ever made...nothing gets done.

A successful couple discovers the right formula.

36 posted on 08/22/2011 4:16:01 PM PDT by Siena Dreaming
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To: americanophile
I googled "men wasting time " and this picture was on the first page.


37 posted on 08/22/2011 4:16:18 PM PDT by ThomasThomas ( Congressmen should wear uniforms like NASCAR drivers, so we can identify their corporate sponsors.)
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To: decimon
Like the wife said to the husband in the movie The Ref:

"Feelings! Didn't your alien masters teach you about those before they sent you to this planet?"

38 posted on 08/22/2011 4:20:51 PM PDT by Pan_Yan
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To: decimon
Of course. It is a waste of time.
39 posted on 08/22/2011 4:20:51 PM PDT by Cyber Liberty (Rick Perry: Looks like Joe Isuzu, acts like Grant Woods [AZ joke])
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To: ThomasThomas

Any woman on a first date knows that she will sit there and listen to a guy yammer on about himself FOR HOURS. Now that I’m an old married woman - married to a lovely man who actually enjoys talking and discussing problems before solving them - I can try to forget how many boring men I listened to. Some of them seem to have joined FR!!


40 posted on 08/22/2011 4:21:50 PM PDT by miss marmelstein (Run, Sarah, Run! Please!)
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To: reformedliberal

Actually, my Marine will always listen if I need to vent, but his policy is “don’t talk about it, just fix it”.


41 posted on 08/22/2011 4:22:22 PM PDT by WhyisaTexasgirlinPA (Maxine Waters tells Tea Party to "go to hell" - no thanks, I have no desire to move to your district)
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To: decimon

Most Psychologists are drawing Their beer money out of Medicare & Medicaid.

It kind’a makes you feel all warm & fuzzy like, don’t it, knowing that their right on top of such a heretofore undisclosed commonplace, and sending your Parents the Bill for it in the form of higher co-pays.


42 posted on 08/22/2011 4:24:01 PM PDT by To-Whose-Benefit? (It is Error alone which needs the support of Government. The Truth can stand by itself.)
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To: Raider Sam

My husband read an article once that said women use three times the number of words per day that a man uses. Occasionally my husband will say, “I’ve used my 10,000 words today”... that is when I know he needs some quiet time. ;^)


43 posted on 08/22/2011 4:24:01 PM PDT by WhyisaTexasgirlinPA (Maxine Waters tells Tea Party to "go to hell" - no thanks, I have no desire to move to your district)
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To: decimon

Dumb thread.


44 posted on 08/22/2011 4:24:19 PM PDT by Lonesome in Massachussets (Somewhere in Kenya a village is missing its idiot)
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To: reformedliberal

Well, it sounds like you worked out a great problem-solving strategy!


45 posted on 08/22/2011 4:26:38 PM PDT by exDemMom (Now that I've finally accepted that I'm living a bad hair life, I'm more at peace with the world.)
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To: decimon

I don’t want to talk about it!


46 posted on 08/22/2011 4:27:30 PM PDT by theBuckwheat
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To: HangnJudge

Uh huh.


47 posted on 08/22/2011 4:27:30 PM PDT by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly. Stand fast. God knows what He is doing.)
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To: miss marmelstein
Dear Miss:

They aren't women haters at all; they are men.

They put up with incessant chatter out of respect.

Men are hardwired to "fix" things, to be "doers" not talkers.

A great male-female conversation goes this way: "Honey, the toilet is running."

"Did you rattle the handle?"

"Yes."

"Is it backed up?"

"Nope."

"Got it," the man remarks, getting up to retrieve his tool kit and head for the bathroom.

A bad male-female conversation: "Honey, that toilet is really bothering me."

"What's wrong?"

"It's making a squeaking noise and wasting a ton of water. You know, it's going to run up the water bill, I know it! We're in a drought right now..."

"What kind of noise?"

"An obnoxious squeaking noise. Can't you hear it? It kept me up all night last night. Between your snoring and that noise, I had a terrible day at work."

"What kind of squeaking noise?" the man huffs impatiently.

"Didn't you hear me? I told you already. You never listen. That's the problem in this relationship...you don't listen and you don't value me as a person..."

The man, frustrated, gets up to retrieve his tool box, which causes his partner to grow extremely agitated; a squabble ensues, and the toilet is not fixed.

FTR, I'm a woman.

48 posted on 08/22/2011 4:30:34 PM PDT by TheWriterTX (Rock you like a Herman Cain 2012)
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To: WhyisaTexasgirlinPA

Very true.


49 posted on 08/22/2011 4:30:53 PM PDT by sarasmom ( A Fine is a Tax for doing wrong. A Tax is a Fine for doing well.)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets
.
50 posted on 08/22/2011 4:32:11 PM PDT by ArrogantBustard (Western Civilization is Aborting, Buggering, and Contracepting itself out of existence.)
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