Posted on 09/07/2011 1:35:39 AM PDT by LibWhacker
My mother is the person who made me. And she's done it twice. She caught me. Now what??
I don't remember a lot about the first time, because it began when I was too young to remember much of anything.
But I clearly remember the second time she made me. It was shortly after I'd begun carrying a handgun for personal defense, before I'd figured out the art of giving someone a hug without giving away the secret. She and my father had offered to take my children to a movie, so the kids and I piled into the van and drove to meet them at the theater. As always, my Glock 26 was strapped securely to my waist in its kydex holster.
When I got out of the van, my mother came running over to give me a hug. As she put her hand around my waist, I felt her stiffen up and pat my hip. Then she pulled away and looked at me accusingly. 'What is that?'
I was caught.
As I found out, if you carry a concealed weapon very often, the odds are that sooner or later, someone you care about will discover that you're carrying one right then. The question is what to do next. How can you handle the situation with a minimum of fuss and reassure your family and friends?
Step #1: Don't lose your cool.
Sure, you're probably a little upset. After all, you didn't want to get made and even if you were planning to tell them at some point, the timing is probably less than ideal. But you don't want to give them the impression that you ' a person equipped with a loaded weapon ' are prone to panic.
Staying calm has other advantages, too. Getting made is really just a minor social gaffe. But a too-vigorous reaction might give your friends the idea that you're on the run from Johnny Law. This is another impression you do not want to make.
If you are in a public setting, and your reaction is very energetic, it will be noticed by everyone around you. Human beings are drawn to emotional displays. If you play it cool, you may be able to avoid at least a few prying eyes.
So take a deep breath and smile, even if you don't feel like it.
Step #2: Say something.
Don't just stand there with your mouth flapping open and shut like a recently landed large-mouth bass. Few things make people more nervous than that. So after you smile, clear your throat and force a sound past those chilly vocal cords.
Of course, some things are better to say than others.
An example of a bad thing to say: 'Ha! HA! I was planning to use that to kill everyone in the place later! What a laugh!' If all you can think of is a feeble joke about mass murder, you're probably better off to keep doing your fish imitation.
Better: 'Ummmmm, oops.' You may kick yourself later for your lack of eloquence, but at least you didn't make the situation worse.
Best: 'It's okay, Mom, you know I'm one of the good guys.' Or (for the guys reading this) to a girlfriend, 'Yes, but I'm also happy to see you.' Or after your firearm jumps out of the holster and skitters across the floor, 'Dang, I've been trying to teach it not to do that.'
A light-hearted comment often sends the meta-message that you aren't worried and that the other person shouldn't be, either. A Michigan resident named Tim was once told by a local policeman that his gun was printing. Tim smiled and responded, 'Good, now I can start it on cursive.' Tim reports that the officer smiled back and replied, ''Good answer, now hide it.' I did, he smiled and walked away. Never even asked to see my permit. [It was] kinda a good experience.'
Step #3: Answer questions without getting defensive.
This is the tricky part. You want to communicate that you are a responsible person, that you haven't lost your marbles, and that no one needs to call the police to deal with you. Depending on your relationship with the person who made you, one or all of those things might be a hard sell.
With relatives, their first concern is often whether or not you are obeying the law. 'My grandmother was a bit concerned one time after she hugged my younger brother and found he was carrying concealed,' says a young man who now lives in Texas. 'She thought it was still illegal to carry concealed in Arizona. She didn't seem especially concerned that he was carrying, just that he do it legally.'
Familiarity with your local laws stands you in good stead here. It's probably a good idea to refresh your memory about your state's carry laws from time to time, just so you will be able to deal with such questions.
Some folks can be expected to react with disgust or anger. Be prepared for this, but do your best not to provoke it. If the other person is content to chew you out and then drop the issue, let them. You earned the tongue-lashing by getting caught, and your mild reaction just proves that you aren't looking for a fight no matter what tools you have on your belt.
Be prepared to deal with questions about your emotional health. 'You sure do have a lot of fears,' one of my relatives once told me. 'Maybe you should talk to a doctor.' After an accusation like this, the ideal impression to leave is that you listened seriously to their concerns, but that their concerns weren't serious. You can accomplish this by listening respectfully, while keeping your own responses light and brief.
While the initial reactions might range from cheerful interest, to horrified fascination, to legal concerns, to making digs about your mental health, eventually family and friends do adjust. Well, mostly. Even after some time has passed, your friends might still think you're paranoid. But as one young man in Colorado admits with a laugh, 'They think it's part of my charm.'
Do you know things about her that she would rather you not mention to people? Do it a few times, and maybe she'll get the point. Failing that, somebody like that is not somebody I would continue to associate with.
Think of information like a bullet: once you shoot it out, there's no calling it back. Treat your firearms-related activities like your sex life -- ain't nobody else's business.
Use a soft inside-the-waistband holster, cheated toward your strong side and slightly angled (right of center, if you’re right-handed). Make sure your belt is not so tight that you can’t draw properly, and practice the move frequently. I have found that location best to avoid printing, especially with short-sleeve cotton t-shirts.
>>> Now every time we are together, if someone new is in the group, she tells them I ‘pack heat’... Short of moving, how can I get her to stop telling every one she meets?
Make a habit of sharing ever more outrageous things about yourself with her. Make sure it’s juicy, scandalous, and only told to her because it’s just a secret between you two.
Have fun with your best new friend, Agent Double-ought-buck.
This part is VERY important -- always make sure to put the sock in the FRONT of your pants! ;-)
Unless, like me, you might have a novel in your pocket....
Carry openly and the problem kinda disappears: if she points it out she looks stupid for pointing out the obvious.
I've been 'made' twice: Once by a keen old police veteran at a gun show and another time by a little kid in a supermarket who saw me reach for something on a top shelf down the aisle.
My spring-loaded comment that I have ready to go for anyone who might see my carry piece in the future will be to bark "ARE YOU ON PAROLE?" with a furrowed brow. I haven't had to use it yet.
I don't carry myself (on my body) but last Thanksgiving when my grandma was still alive, my brother and SIL took off their holsters at the dining table much to my GM’s dismay.
Just to void any mistakes/problems, I think it would be pertinent to tell the love ones in close proximity that there a loaded weapon or 3 in the room. (Especially if children are around)
Bad idea. If you should happen to fall it puts a solid lump of metal right in pressure alignment with your spine. Crushed disc or worse? Also, think about this: There is an extreme risk that in the midst of your draw you will sweep your own body with the muzzle creating a critically dangerous situation under the pressures of a combat situation. You might just accidentally shoot yourself. How embarrassing! Maybe the bad guy will laugh himself to death before you bleed out.
I’m planning on a much small carry piece soon that I hope will be easier to carry.
If I sit there and stare at it long enough, I realize I never have seen a book with quite those proportions.
Octodecimo is the closest format, but very rare.
Sherlock Holmes would notice, that’s for sure (and it’d be just my luck to run into him), and after seeing me and my pocket novel around town for a year or two deduce that nobody, but nobody, could be such a slow reader.
Reminds me of a story about a few acquaintances that went shooting for the day (here in TX). They got stopped for speeding on the way home, and the officer asked if the driver had any guns with him (note that your plates are tied to your CHL in TX). The driver said that he had 5 guns, 2 on his person and 3 in the back of the truck, whereupon the others also chimed in, for a total of 23 guns in the car. The officer asked, "What are you guys afraid of?" and one guy said, "Not much of anything right now." Of course they were sent on their way pretty quickly with just a warning.
I'm certain that in my former residence of the PRNJ, even a joke about having a gun on board would be responded to by at least half a dozen local SWAT units...I'm very glad not to be there any more.
The best advice when someone asks you why you carry is to respond, “Because its easier than carrying a cop.”
If someone asks you why you carry a .45, respond by saying, “Because they don’t make a .46.”
Seriously, I’ve had a couple people notice that I’m carrying (mostly others who carry, and who actually pay attention). My response is simply to tell them that I’ve done that every single time that we’ve been together for the last X years - clearly answering their question about whether I can be trusted. Further, I also add, “so do 250,000 other people in this state who’ve been checked by the FBI and taken a class.” That answers the question about whether I am legal, and also about the fact that there is a process that everyone must go through to get a license. I have yet to be kicked out of anyone’s house, and a few that I know are quite anti-gun. The fact that you’re someone they know and trust makes it easier for them to swallow, I suppose.
My favorite question is really 3: “What are you carrying that thing for, what are you going to do - shoot someone? Why don’t you just have ‘911’ on speed dial?” My response is perfectly polite, even-toned and factual: “I mean to protect myself, my family and anyone with me against any threat. Even if I had the time to call the police, they wouldn’t get there in time to do anything but put toe-tags on our bodies and write up a report. To answer your question, “YES” I will shoot someone threatening me or mine with serious harm or death - THEY are the ones who will have made the choice, not me. I’ve carried guns for many years and never even pulled one out for self-defense - and I hope and pray that I never will have to do so. But if I have to, I WILL.”
Conceal better. Wear larger trowsers and get an in-the-trowsers holster and cover it with a shirt. I have been CCW for years w/o any problems.
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