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Ever Been That Drunk?
Courthouse News Service ^ | Feb 2, 2012 | CARRIE ANN CHERRY

Posted on 02/04/2012 4:42:50 PM PST by bkopto

HUNTINGTON, W.Va. - A college student claims he was injured when a fraternity member in a "drunken stupor" decided "that it would be a good idea to shoot bottle rockets out of his a***," and did so, "but instead of launching, the bottle rocket blew up in the defendant's rectum, and this startled the plaintiff and caused him to jump back," and fall off the fraternity's deck.

Louis Helmburg III sued The Alpha Tau Omega Fraternity Inc., of Huntington, West Virginia, and Travis Hughes, a fraternity member, in Cabell County Court.

Helmburg claims - in a statement it would be difficult to deny - that "firing bottle rockets out of one's own anus constitutes an 'ultra-hazardous' activity," which exposes both defendants to strict liability.

Helmburg says he suffered pain and medical expenses, and lost playing time on the Marshall University baseball team. He claims the Alpha Tau deck from which he fell lacked a railing, which violated Huntington building codes.

Helmburg says the fiasco came at about 1:30 a.m. on May 1, 2011, at an Alpha Tau house party he attended with his girlfriend.

"Several of the people in attendance at said house party were under the legal drinking age, including defendant Travis Hughes," the complaint states. "Most of the persons in attendance at said house party were also consuming alcohol with the full knowledge and consent of the ATO fraternity."

Several Alpha Tau members were on the deck when Hughes got his bright idea, including one or more fraternity officers, Helmburg says.

The complaint states: "Defendant Hughes was highly intoxicated on this date and time, and decided in his drunken stupor that it would be a good idea to shoot bottle rockets out of his anus on the ATO deck, located on the back of the ATO house. ...

"Defendant Hughes placed a bottle rocket in his anus, ignited the fuse, but instead of launching, the bottle rocket blew up in the defendant's rectum, and this startled the plaintiff and caused him to jump back, at which time he fell off of the ATO deck, and he became lodged between the deck and an air conditioner unit adjacent the deck.

"There was no railing on said deck at the time of the incident. Upon information and belief, the lack of a railing had existed for at least several months, if not years, before the incident. Upon further information and belief, the deck never had a railing when it was installed, or any time thereafter. The subject deck was approximately 3-4 feet high."

Helmburg says Alpha Tau negligently failed to supervise its guests and members, "such as defendant Hughes, and other under age persons, from consuming alcohol on its premises, which leads to stupid and dangerous activities, such as shooting bottle rockets out of one's own anus."

As for Hughes, Helmburg says, "Defendant Hughes also owed plaintiff and others on the ATO deck a duty of care not to drink under age, or to fire bottle rockets out of his anus."

It is unclear from the 5-page complaint whether Hughes was injured, or how badly, when the bottle rocket exploded in his rectum.

Helmburg seeks damages for negligence and strict liability.

He is represented by Timothy Rosinsky of Huntington.


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: chat; fraternity; holdmuhbeer; intoxication; napl; oldnews
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1 posted on 02/04/2012 4:43:00 PM PST by bkopto
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To: bkopto; mikrofon; martin_fierro
the bottle rocket blew up in the defendant's rectum. . . .

Rectum? Nearly killed him!

2 posted on 02/04/2012 4:46:55 PM PST by Charles Henrickson (You knew it was coming.)
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To: bkopto

Can’t say I’ve ever been that drunk and I was an all star hall of famer drunk.


3 posted on 02/04/2012 4:47:11 PM PST by cripplecreek (What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world but loses his soul?)
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To: bkopto
I must be culturally deprived - I got all the way though my undergrad days without the knowledge of what a bottle-rocket is.



Etiam non princeps sed usque ad genua, Principis Pacis!

Listen, O isles, unto me; and hearken, ye people, from far; The LORD hath called me from the womb; from the bowels of my mother hath he made mention of my name. (Isaiah 49:1 KJV)

4 posted on 02/04/2012 4:47:33 PM PST by ConorMacNessa (HM/2 USN, 3/5 Marines RVN 1969 - St. Michael the Archangel defend us in Battle!)
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To: bkopto

“Did you drive home?”

“Of course. I was too drunk to walk...”


5 posted on 02/04/2012 4:47:41 PM PST by bigheadfred (Bang a gong)
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To: bkopto

Them West Virginia college students are pretty smart. They should make this an annual fraternity event and get some videos next time.


6 posted on 02/04/2012 4:47:50 PM PST by Harley (Will Rogers never met Harry Reid.)
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To: bkopto
Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
7 posted on 02/04/2012 4:48:03 PM PST by AnAmericanAbroad (It's all bread and circuses for the future prey of the Morlocks.)
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To: bkopto

I could be mistaken here but I think you’re supposed to stick the skinny, long wood end into your anus and not the short, stubby, fused cardboard end. This might even be worth double-checking before the fuse is lit.


8 posted on 02/04/2012 4:48:50 PM PST by coloradan (The US has become a banana republic, except without the bananas - or the republic.)
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To: bkopto
It is unclear [...] whether Hughes was injured [..] when the bottle rocket exploded in his rectum.

I'm going out on a limb here, and voting "yes".

Dang near blew his brains out!

9 posted on 02/04/2012 4:48:50 PM PST by Izzy Dunne (Hello, I'm a TAGLINE virus. Please help me spread by copying me into YOUR tag line.)
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To: bkopto

Someone doesn’t have a sense of humor.
At one fraternity where I boarded, they’d tie a string to a brick and the other end to the pledges’ **** They’d then throw the brick off the balcony (having conveniently snipped the string). Hilarity ensued.
How I miss those days.


10 posted on 02/04/2012 4:49:12 PM PST by DaxtonBrown (http://www.futurnamics.com/reid.php)
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To: bkopto
Any story that includes "...when the bottle rocket exploded in his rectum" is going to offer a chuckle.

Unless you are associated in some way with the rectum in question.

11 posted on 02/04/2012 4:51:11 PM PST by Never on my watch (As a matter of fact, IT IS something worth getting angry over!)
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To: bkopto

“Rectum? Damn near killed ‘im!”


12 posted on 02/04/2012 4:51:57 PM PST by freedumb2003 (Spoiler Alert! The secret to Terra Nova: THEY ARE ALL DEAD!!!)
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Reminds me of a verse of one of our fraternity songs...

“I threw a pail of Sh** in the air to see how high it would go, and when it splattered on the ground it spelled out A T O”


13 posted on 02/04/2012 4:52:19 PM PST by dsrtsage (One half of all people have below average In the US the number is 54%)
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To: cripplecreek

I thought that was your picture next to mine !!


14 posted on 02/04/2012 4:53:39 PM PST by onona (Dicky Betts is one ramblin man !)
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To: bkopto

No, I can’t say that I have.


15 posted on 02/04/2012 4:54:23 PM PST by Mmogamer (I refudiate the lamestream media, leftists and their prevaricutions.)
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To: bkopto

A. something to tell his grandkids about
B. seemed like a good idea at the time
C. potential Darwin award runner-up
D. gives new meaning to “blow it out yer azz!”


16 posted on 02/04/2012 4:54:48 PM PST by bigbob
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To: bkopto
I have been so drunk that I walked from my dorm to my frat house (bruising my shoulder on a tree along the way), maudlinly confessed my deep love to one of the sorority chix I only sort of liked, barfed on the floor next to the porcelain idol, and fell asleep in a corner until a couple of the bros walked my hungover a$$ back home.

No, I have never been so drunk I wanted to shoot fireworks out of my butt.

17 posted on 02/04/2012 4:54:54 PM PST by ExGeeEye (Islam: a transnational fascist government that demands worship.)
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To: bkopto

Past a certain point, when the euphoric effects plateau off as a function of consumption, alcohol becomes just a poison. Rational judgement is affected up to a point, and those who go beyond that limit do it, not out of intoxication, but out of stupidity. As for the original question, no, never considered shooting a bottle rocket up my butt.


18 posted on 02/04/2012 4:54:59 PM PST by SpaceBar
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To: bkopto

Having never been a part of the fraternity experience, I don’t know how you get to the point where you are willing to follow someone’s direction when they say “Drop your pants and shove this in your a$$.”


19 posted on 02/04/2012 4:55:20 PM PST by Never on my watch (As a matter of fact, IT IS something worth getting angry over!)
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To: bkopto

Never been so stupid. These kids are in college???


20 posted on 02/04/2012 4:55:20 PM PST by Dallas59 (President Robert Gibbs 2009-2011)
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To: bkopto

In my youth, I was highly intoxicated around bottle rockets and other fireworks. Thankfully, I never got the bright idea to put any in my rectum, although we used to shoot them directly at each other.


21 posted on 02/04/2012 4:55:29 PM PST by Opinionated Blowhard ("When the people find they can vote themselves money, that will herald the end of the republic.")
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To: Slings and Arrows

Speechless ping.


22 posted on 02/04/2012 4:55:55 PM PST by Springman (Rest In Peace YaYa123 and Bahbah.)
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To: bkopto

I’ve been pretty “absent of mind” in my time, but to engage in this sort of behavior speaks of a level of personal depravity that inebriation would barely touch.


23 posted on 02/04/2012 4:56:25 PM PST by Caipirabob (I say we take off and Newt the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure...)
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To: bkopto; mikrofon; martin_fierro
firing bottle rockets out of one's own anus constitutes an 'ultra-hazardous' activity. . . .

Well, for some people, perhaps. But with daily practice, I can tell you the risk is significantly reduced.

24 posted on 02/04/2012 4:57:44 PM PST by Charles Henrickson (Repetitio est mater studiorum.)
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To: ExGeeEye

Oh, and most of those events were lost to my memory and only know about them because they were reported to me afterward.


25 posted on 02/04/2012 4:57:55 PM PST by ExGeeEye (Islam: a transnational fascist government that demands worship.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Same could be said for Russian Roulette, if you think about it...


26 posted on 02/04/2012 4:59:45 PM PST by ExGeeEye (Islam: a transnational fascist government that demands worship.)
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To: bkopto

A young man had too much to drink,
Which thus made him unable to think,
With flair and pizzazz,
He stuck a bottle rocket up his @ss,
The resulting explosion caused quite a stink.


27 posted on 02/04/2012 5:00:45 PM PST by exit82 (Democrats are the enemies of freedom. We have ideas-the Dems only have ideology.)
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To: bkopto
So this jerk got scared by somebody else's exploding anus and fell off the roof, so he's sues everybody.

Geez, I've seen plenty of exploding anuses and I never fell off a roof.

He needs a beating so he has something to sue about.

28 posted on 02/04/2012 5:01:33 PM PST by dead (I've got my eye out for Mullah Omar.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Rectum? Nearly killed him!

In a more innocent age, I only wrecked cars, not ums.

29 posted on 02/04/2012 5:02:27 PM PST by BfloGuy (The final outcome of the credit expansion is general impoverishment.)
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To: bkopto

The fool.

You’re supposed to hold the stick end of the bottle rocket in your teeth, not between your butt cheeks!


30 posted on 02/04/2012 5:03:33 PM PST by 43north (BHO: 50% black, 50% white, 100% RED)
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To: bkopto; shibumi; martin_fierro; humblegunner; Slings and Arrows

Ping worthy.


31 posted on 02/04/2012 5:04:03 PM PST by Semper Mark (I didn't leave the Republican Party. It left me.)
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To: All

Click The Pic

32 posted on 02/04/2012 5:04:22 PM PST by ButThreeLeftsDo
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To: Opinionated Blowhard
although we used to shoot them directly at each other

We did that sober, each was allowed a metal trash can lid to use a shield.

Glass coke bottle with several rockets in one hand, trash lid in the other and a lit punk in our teeth.

Sometimes the rocket going off would light off some others. You learned the hard way to wait to see if you were shooting one or more before pulling back the bottle to put near your face with the lit punk in your teeth.

But usually, if the burns are not too bad, eyebrows grow back.

Parents today would be shocked to learn we lived if they knew everything we did as young teenagers.

33 posted on 02/04/2012 5:05:10 PM PST by thackney (life is fragile, handle with prayer)
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To: bkopto

Seems to be a popular stunt: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UdH9j-FkiWg


34 posted on 02/04/2012 5:05:17 PM PST by rotstan
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To: dead
Geez, I've seen plenty of exploding anuses and I never fell off a roof.

Really. And it wasn't even a roof. It was a lousy deck! "The subject deck was approximately 3-4 feet high." Oh, poor baby!

"Waaah! Somebody's @ss exploded and I got scared and I fell off the deck! Three whole feet! I'm a little baby!"

Jackwagon.

35 posted on 02/04/2012 5:06:30 PM PST by Charles Henrickson (What a wuss.)
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To: SpaceBar

I can see a problem here, his mother probably told
him never to run with a bottle rocket up his butt,
Yet the instructions all say , “Light fuse and
RUN AWAY!”.


36 posted on 02/04/2012 5:06:33 PM PST by tet68 ( " We would not die in that man's company, that fears his fellowship to die with us...." Henry V.)
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To: bkopto; shibumi; humblegunner
I've never shot bottle rockets out of my arse, but I have been that drunk. :)
37 posted on 02/04/2012 5:08:08 PM PST by Semper Mark (I didn't leave the Republican Party. It left me.)
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To: bkopto

38 posted on 02/04/2012 5:09:32 PM PST by Charles Henrickson (REAL good!)
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To: bkopto

Blames everyone but himself. Typical.


39 posted on 02/04/2012 5:10:16 PM PST by chessplayer
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To: bkopto
Not the first time this has happened.

Oldies, but goodies...

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

40 posted on 02/04/2012 5:10:32 PM PST by digger48
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To: bkopto
I said bottle rocket. It has a short o sound, not a short u sound.
41 posted on 02/04/2012 5:11:58 PM PST by KarlInOhio (Herman Cain: possibly the escapee most dangerous to the Democrats since Frederick Douglass.)
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To: thackney

Yep — we used to shoot CO2 powered BB guns at each other, we used to shoot bottle rockets at each other, we used to shoot fire extinguishers at each other. One time we got a high powered hose and turned it on each other. I’m amazed we are still alive. God protects idiots and drunks, and I’ve been both.


42 posted on 02/04/2012 5:12:23 PM PST by Opinionated Blowhard ("When the people find they can vote themselves money, that will herald the end of the republic.")
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To: bkopto
If Obama get relected they will give this kid a job as the new Czar in charge of NASA reoranization and launch systems.

It is a miracle he didn't end up like this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7xIo4GDlc8

43 posted on 02/04/2012 5:12:26 PM PST by taildragger (( Palin / Mulally 2012 ))
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To: coloradan

Like this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXa45zXypfs


44 posted on 02/04/2012 5:12:45 PM PST by Jack Hydrazine (It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine!)
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To: bkopto

His and his girlfriend’s parents must be so proud.


45 posted on 02/04/2012 5:13:16 PM PST by bgill (The Obama administration is staging a coup. Wake up, America, before it's too late.)
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To: bkopto

I love it when stupidity is painful.


46 posted on 02/04/2012 5:13:35 PM PST by Grunthor (Mitt Romney and anyone supporting him can go fornicate themselves with a cactus)
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To: bkopto
Travis Hughes

The butt of jokes for years to come.

47 posted on 02/04/2012 5:13:46 PM PST by Charles Henrickson (REAL good!)
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To: cripplecreek
Sad to say I have been that drunk, and at about the same age. Happy to say I was never that stupid.
48 posted on 02/04/2012 5:15:22 PM PST by katana (Just my opinions)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Yeah, the guy who fell off the 3 ft. deck and sued is a bigger jackwagon than the one trying to shoot a bottle rocket out of his rear end. I hope the judge tells him to get the heck out of his courtroom!


49 posted on 02/04/2012 5:15:56 PM PST by KansasGirl
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To: Opinionated Blowhard
...although we used to shoot them directly at each other.

Done that.

Caught one inside the collar of my jacket at the base of my neck.

Was several days before the ear on that side returned to full functionality.

I've been drunk enough to literally pass-out in the gutter.

But I've never been "that drunk".

50 posted on 02/04/2012 5:16:32 PM PST by DuncanWaring (The Lord uses the good ones; the bad ones use the Lord.)
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