I don't need any advice, I'm just blowing off steam...

Don’t know if this will help or not but........I had the Mom from Hell. She treated my stepdad like garbage til the day he died from CHF. When he was so sick he couldn’t walk she would snarl at him. She always treated everyone else in the family bad but treated me the worst.
She got cancer right after my stepdad died and had noone to help her but me. My brother disliked her so much he stayed away. When she was getting to the point where she couldn’t walk anymore I was diagnosed with breast cancer and started chemotherapy. She didn’t want me to do chemotherapy because I would be too sick to take care of her. She never would sign a power of attorney or anything else so life was hell. She made all the decisions and I paid the price. The only thing that kept me from walking away was that she had no one else. My daughter helped with her because I was sick but we were it. She died with no one caring except the immediate family.
The moral is I had no guilt. I did everything I could for her in spite of her. My brother was wracked with guilt once she was gone.
Don’t know if it helps but there is my sorry. I wish you luck.

No assvice here, just sympathy!! I’m glad you, your dog & your mom (and your nice neighbor) are all okay.

The only possibly (I reiterate, possibly!) useful thought I have is that maybe your mom’s problem behavior is also stemming from a pathology. Have you had her evaluated?

Good luck!!

I have an older Dad, Had to put him in assisted living 8 years ago, He is getting along okay but starting to show early Alzheimer's or Dementia,90 Y.O., Doctors hope it is a medicine imbalance.
I tore myself up about putting in care, but now that I look back the other people I met in the same situation are divorced, stressed or regretting thier situation at the least. Most comment that they don't have a life anymore.
Get the power of attorney over all their affairs before they start to slip, each account or charity has to be dealt with separately. That means you might need to get Power of Attorney (POA) over the checking account, savings account, and the debit card that services those accounts as separate issues for each and every financial institution they deal with. Talk to others that are going thru the same thing, and visit alot of assisted living homes( many take couples) before deciding, the best run places might be because of the staff not the management, and that can change in the blink of an eye.

No advice here -- I'm not qualified. My mom is a saint (she's 84, now), but my dad was an old-time jackass who drove her like a rented mule all her life. Still, she loved him more than life itself, and wouldn't change a thing. For her, and maybe for me, I wish we had him back.

He's gone now, though, and she's getting older (but still, for now, smarter than I and my two sisters put together are!).

I'm doing my best to give her the life she deserves after serving him like a slave for fifty-some years. One of my sisters is on her side, but the other is scared to death she's going to spend all her money before she dies, and fights us every step of the way.

I assume you're not like that sister. You love your mom and your dad, so make these years the best they can be for them.

These -- both of them -- are the folks who changed your dirty diapers and taught you to walk, and somehow managed not to beat you to death when you were a typical two- or three- or four-year-old.

I have a granddaughter now, my mother's ninth great-grandchild. That little girl is almost as wonderful a blessing to me as my daughter who bore her. It makes me think about these things.

Do you ever think about what a blessing you were to your mom when you were born? Give the lady a break; you've given her a hard time for most of her life, as we all have!

If she needs help with your dad, come up with a good way you can do it and make her think it's all her plan!

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