Posted on 08/22/2012 1:46:54 PM PDT by Morgana
My mouth dropped open, gaping in shock, as I sat in the prayer room readying myself to pray for the orphans and fatherless and then saw the story. Christian Broadcasting Network’s Pat Robertson had criticized some types of adoption. In a viewer question from a woman who had adopted three children internationally, Robertson’s advice as to why men seemed to lose interest when they found out she adopted her children, said:
“A man doesn’t want to take on the United Nations, and a woman has all these various children, blended family, what is it – you don’t know what problems there are. I’m serious. I’ve got a dear friend, an adopted son, a little kid from an orphanage down in Columbia. Child had brain damage, grew up weird. And you just never know what’s been done to a child before you get that child. What kind of sexual abuse has been, what kind of cruelty, what kind of food deprivation, etc. etc. “You don’t have to take on somebody else’s problems. You really don’t. You can help people – we minister to orphans all over the world, we love helping people. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m going to take all the orphans around the world into my home.”
Robertson displays the ignorance that has fostered the grief of many adopted children over the years, a mentality the church is charged with tearing down, not building up.
He is correct that some adopted children might have problems or abuse, but he fails to add that natural born children may too. I can name numerous families with natural-born children whose children tragically suffered sexual abuse at the hand of someone, a babysitter or relative, or even stranger. I can also think of parents who have had brain-damaged children or children with other health issues that greatly impair them from having “normal” lives, but I wouldn’t say that made them grow up weird. Different isn’t weird. It’s different.
Adoption is not a dirty word. It’s not a second class word. It’s not a fringe word. It’s the heart of the Father.
Perhaps most troubling is the fact that Robertson seems to forget that none of the gentiles are God’s “own” either. The Father took us all, sexually abused, verbally abused, treated cruelly, deprived of things, in grief and pain and agony, He accepted us, He adopted us, and He chose to take on the United Nations. Further, He calls us to take the United Nations into our homes sometimes.
Obviously not everyone should adopt for various reasons, but prejudice isn’t one of the better reasons. To be a believer and to harbor an attitude that adoption is for some fringe group is unacceptable. This is an attitude which is all-too-prevalent anyway, but to hear it come from a Christian leader is heart wrenching to me.
See, I am the United Nations. Arab-born, American adopted, left-on-the-street baby who was adopted by a single mom, and it was (and is) a mystery to which nation I belong. In an orphanage for six months, every bias would have said I was not worth fighting for. Sending money to an orphanage is nice. Ministering to orphans in nice. But the heart attitude displayed here is not. Orphans are not some group you take a week’s vacation to go minister to so you can do your Christian duty. Orphans are the very heart of Jesus. That’s why the last verses of the old Testament tell us:
“Behold, I am going to send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and terrible day of the Lord. He will restore the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers, so that I will not come and smite the land with a curse.” (NASB)
Literally the exemption from the curse is the restoration of the hearts of the fathers to the children. As I wrote last week, this is a time in history in which there are more orphans, spiritual and natural, than ever before — to not adopt orphans and/or be an active part of that is missing the mark of the Father.
Luke 1:17 echoes Malachi 4:
“It is he who will go as a forerunner before Him in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the fathers back to the children, and the disobedient to the attitude of the righteous, so as to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.” (NASB)
We should take on the United Nations—or support those who do without exception and excuse. No, we may not know “what we’re getting.” But we may not when we birth children. The mentality in our land that adoption is a second choice and a by-product of real parenting is destructive to the church, the nation and the will of God for His people.
I have loved, honored and respected Mr. Robertson over the years, but his position cannot excuse his comments. In his response statement, he says he has helped many orphans over the years and we need to look at his record. It is absolutely true the work and charity of CBN and Robertson’s ministry have helped many in need. The body of Christ is better for his work, but we clearly must continue speaking out on adoption.
And to the lady who sent the question to Robertson originally: Nothing is wrong with you. Your selfless acts of the love of Jesus are beautiful. Meanwhile, let’s all continue to pray for a the spirit of adoption to be raised up in the church — and for Mr. Robertson. My intent isn’t to condemn him, but my heart ached so deeply at the comments that they needed to be addressed biblically and not just critically. Ultimately, this is a heart issue — not just for him but for all of us. We have to do more than think it’s nice someone adopts orphans; we have to examine our hearts as to the value we place on children — all children, even when we don’t know what we’re getting. That’s where faith comes in. That’s where Jesus comes in. That’s where the lives of the orphans change and our lives change with them. And together we become the true family of God which knows only one bloodline: the blood of Jesus.
Reprinted with permission from Bound4Life.com
He tends to forget two of the main commands Christ left us with, and that is:
What you have done for the least of my brothers. And to take care of the orphans and the widows.
Two very clear directives that are asked of our Christian faith.
(Father of a 5 year old adopted little girl from Russia who I love as much as my biological children, warts and all)
Face it, some women who do this are nuts.
Robertson has always been a charlatan.
The article makes many good points. But I think Robertson was just answering the question of why men shied away from her. I don’t think he was advocating not adopting, he was just making the case that the average Joe doesn’t want to go there.
On the other hand I imagine most guys who see this woman immediately think of crazy Mia Farrow. I can’t blame a man for not wanting any of that.
Honestly, I think men might shy away from a woman who has 3 kids, in general, but not specifically based on how they got here.
“Honestly, I think men might shy away from a woman who has 3 kids, in general, but not specifically based on how they got here.”
That is much closer to the truth.
We have three adopted kids, two international. They are all great kids and very well adjusted. People shouldn’t take the sensational cases that pop up in the press as the norm.
Robertson’s assumption is right concerning why men lose interest in her when they find out about the kids. How many men want to get involved with a woman who has three kids that she adopted? She adopted them as a single woman and I guess now she wants some guy to volunteer to feed them. And how long does she hide the fact before she tells them about the children?
As for judging Robertson or anyone else with a differing oppinion, there’s a scripture about doing that, too.
That is what the Holy Scriptures say to the women in the church: Please shut up.” (1 Corinthians 14:33-34)
My wife and I kept 11 foster children over a period of 8 years, then we adopted our first son; then had a son and a daughter born to us; so we aren’t total strangers to children. (but no one is an expert, or a know it all).
Every child is unique, as is every adult. Not everyone should have children, adopted or otherwise.
I'm a bachelor, and I actually have a very nice neighbor woman--whom I've thought about dating--who has adopted three children.
I'm not prepared to take on a woman AND three kids, therefore, I'm probably never going to ask her out.
Shallow? Maybe.
Realistic, and--like her choice to adopt--my own God-given free choice? Yes.
I saw the tape of Robertson...posted by that oh-so-fair-and-freedom-loving < /sarc > group "People for the American Way." Robertson was fitfully, awkwardly & insensitively.... speaking to the woman's complaint, NOT about adoptions in general.
NEWS FLASH: A WOMAN WITH KIDS IS USUALLY LESS LIKELY TO GET A DATE THAN A WOMAN WITHOUT!
I'm a bachelor, and I actually have a very nice neighbor woman--whom I've thought about dating--who has adopted three children.
I'm not prepared to take on a woman AND three kids, therefore, I'm probably never going to ask her out.
Shallow? Maybe.
Realistic, and--like her choice to adopt--my own God-given free choice? Yes.
I saw the tape of Robertson...posted by that oh-so-fair-and-freedom-loving < /sarc > group "People for the American Way." Robertson was fitfully, awkwardly & insensitively.... speaking to the woman's complaint, NOT about adoptions in general.
NEWS FLASH: A WOMAN WITH KIDS IS USUALLY LESS LIKELY TO GET A DATE THAN A WOMAN WITHOUT!
The writer's reply isn't wrong either. In fact I love her reply.
See, I am the United Nations. Arab-born, American adopted, left-on-the-street baby who was adopted by a single mom, and it was (and is) a mystery to which nation I belong. In an orphanage for six months, every bias would have said I was not worth fighting for. Sending money to an orphanage is nice. Ministering to orphans is nice... Orphans are not some group you take a week’s vacation to go minister to so you can do your Christian duty. Orphans are the very heart of Jesus.
Well said.
As for the men who aren't interested in a woman with three adopted kids, or three kids period, thats not surprising. She shouldn't be surprised.
But then, she isn't looking for a plain-vanilla life if she adopted three kids, and she isn't looking for just any man. She is looking for a very specific man and while he is out there, she can pray and God will send him into her life. Any others she dates along the way are just placeholders until the right guy finds her.
My sister adopted two children with a failure to thrive condition because they were not loved. They were extremely small and underdeveloped in every way. For my sister, those were the children she knew how to rescue. She’s a special ed teacher. She has the time, patience, income, knowledge and systems to care for her children. She loved them from the minute she saw them. They have thrived with her.
Not everyone is like my sister or has the same calling as my sister and there is nothing wrong with that. A man taking on another man’s children as his own has to have the calling and heart for it because raising children is not a cake walk. Not all men are prepared for that and they should be true and honest with themselves about it.
Adopted children often come with baggage - that is not a lie. They are worthy of adoption by those called upon and able to take them in. The worse thing that can happen is to get an adopted child with a parent(s) who is overwhelmed and abandons or abuses the child out of frustration. That happens in adoption, too, because it is a gamble!
Pat is right.
“Oh, well” when certain men don’t want to become stepfathers.”
Stepfathers or adopted fathers? There is a difference. . It is all in how you look at it. If a single mom adopted the babies then why can’t he? He takes her and the kids as well. What he is truly saying is he does not want to adopt children.
Pat Robertson didn't say anything un-Christian.
Let's not be PC police.
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