“what about Chuck? he’s 72 years old! I need to buy a bowflex!”
Every piece of furniture Chuck Norris’s house is a Total Gym.
-”The Truth About Chuck Norris”
by Ian Spector
...and sharks have a “Chuck Norris Week”.
Other quotes from the book...
The symbol for Chuck Norris in sign language is a middle finger on fire.
If you stare at the American flag long enough, a 3D image of Chuck Norris pops up.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, “Two seconds till.” After you ask, “Two seconds till what?” he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Chuck Norris can turn back time simply by staring at the clock and flexing.
At Chuck Norris’s bachelor party, he ate the entire cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
Chuck Norris can make the Kessel Run in less than ten parsecs.
When Chuck Norris was denied a McGriddle at McDonald’s because it was 10:35am, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy’s.
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris was dropped at Hiroshima and Nagasaki.