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To: SunkenCiv

I’m not royalty, but in case they dig me up 1500 years later, I’m going to have the following items buried with me.....

A whistle.
A can of Spam.
A photo of William Shatner.
Three Q-tips.
Just the letter “M” part of a dictionary.
The tie-rod from an old Chevy Citation.
Two jock straps.
The little gun marker from a Clue game.


7 posted on 09/15/2012 8:51:20 PM PDT by blueunicorn6 ("A crack shot and a good dancer")
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To: blueunicorn6
If archaeologists are anything like they are now, the interpretation of your objects will be:

A whistle.

In the 21st century, they used to bury people alive. The whistle would allow the prematurely buried to signal the living. It never struck them that being 6 feet underground no one would hear them, but they were unintelligent 21st century people...

A can of Spam.

For the afterlife. In religious circles, Spam was regarded as the only food up to the task of standing side by side with the deceased for eternity; and still maintain its flavor.

A photo of William Shatner.

Obviously a photo of the deceased. Some have interpreted it to be the infamous god of the underworld, whose hearing troubles were caused by the sound of how awesome he was.

Three Q-tips.

These were symbolic objects to remind the deceased of the toil of the slaves earlier in his country's history. He carried three, one each for guilt, shame and the promise of reparations.

Just the letter “M” part of a dictionary.

At birth, citizens were assigned a letter from their alphabet based upon an astrological system which has been lost. At death, all of the words that the deceased had spoken which began with that letter were carefully typed up by the deceased's family and buried with them.

The tie-rod from an old Chevy Citation.

This man was obviously very important, judging from the presence of this mysterious metallic object. It is certain that this was used in some sort of religious ritual. This, coupled with the next item, indicates that this man held a position as a high priest.

Two jock straps.

These nose protecting devices were used during religious ceremonies. The cartilege has disintegrated over time, but it is safe to say that this man had an enormous nose.

The little gun marker from a Clue game.

Sometimes the victims of a crime were buried with their murder weapon. This person was obviously killed by a very small man.

8 posted on 09/16/2012 4:35:27 AM PDT by Textide
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