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Raising Boys (A Dadís Advice for Moms)
The Good Men Project ^ | February 8, 2010 | Tom Matlack

Posted on 10/07/2012 5:27:53 PM PDT by GiovannaNicoletta

Let’s get one thing clear from the get go: moms are generally better parents than dads. And that goes double for me. I’ve had three kids across two marriages and I am undoubtedly the weak link. My 17-year-old daughter and 15-year-old son trust their step-mom more than they trust me, which proves that I married well but am still getting the hang of being a dad. Most of us are.

That said, there are a few subtle nuances that I have picked up along the way as a dad that might come in handy for moms raising boys.

Ladies, here are some things to think about with your boys:



TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: boys; parenting

1 posted on 10/07/2012 5:27:56 PM PDT by GiovannaNicoletta
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To: GiovannaNicoletta

A boy will spend the first five years of his life amazing you at how smart he is and the next twenty years of his life trying to prove to you how stupid he is.


2 posted on 10/07/2012 5:37:20 PM PDT by sonofagun (Some think my cynicism grows with age. I like to think of it as wisdom!)
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To: GiovannaNicoletta

Having raised two boys and a girl, I must say your advice is spot on.


3 posted on 10/07/2012 5:39:49 PM PDT by acad1228 (OKC Thunder!!!!)
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To: GiovannaNicoletta

Advice once given to the father of girls: Bury them when they are 11 and dig them back up when they are 22.

As the father of two co-eds, I cannot argue with that.


4 posted on 10/07/2012 5:44:22 PM PDT by Vermont Lt (I am NOT from Vermont. I am from MA. And I don't support Romney. Please read before "assuming.")
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To: GiovannaNicoletta

Pretty good advise, especially today.


5 posted on 10/07/2012 5:47:01 PM PDT by skeeter
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To: GiovannaNicoletta
My sister's been a widow since her son was 10.I tried to step in,as best I could,as a “father figure” with pretty good success for a while.But,long story short,both she and her son have flipped on me (meaning that my “father” role was terminated) and,as a result (partially,at least),the kid's a mamma's boy,big time.I'm no super macho type by any means and never tried to “turn” him into one.Boys need a sane,decent father.The best mother in the world is a terrible father (and my sister's an amazing mother).One only need look at this nation's inner cities,populated mainly by female led households,to find out what can happen to a fatherless boy.
6 posted on 10/07/2012 5:47:20 PM PDT by Gay State Conservative (Ambassador Stevens Is Dead And The Chevy Volt Is Alive)
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To: GiovannaNicoletta

“My five-year-old likes to head to the bathroom just as the family is sitting down to dinner, sometimes during dinner. It’s the first time he has been still long enough to realize he has to go. And he wants me to come with him, not just to assist in the wipe but to have a leisurely conversation about the status of his poop.”

This must be how we end up with 26-year-olds still on their parents’ health insurance.


7 posted on 10/07/2012 5:48:58 PM PDT by 9YearLurker
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To: Vermont Lt

never heard that one before...1 daughter, loved to have dad take her shopping cause she could get anything she wanted. Mostly girls are a worry when then start noticing boys and boys are a worry when they get their drivers license and figure out girls are not full of cooties..


8 posted on 10/07/2012 5:52:42 PM PDT by goat granny
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To: GiovannaNicoletta
As a single mom of a beautiful young man, I have found this to be ever so true:

When in doubt, hug

I am not an expert in men, he doesn't have to get me, but the hug works wonders when things aren't right. And we are not very touchy, feely.

9 posted on 10/07/2012 5:53:43 PM PDT by ican'tbelieveit (School is prison for children who have commited the crime of being born. (attr: St_Thomas_Aquinas))
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To: GiovannaNicoletta

I raised 5 kids as a single dad.. Three daughters, and two sons..

Boys seem easier, especially in the early years, because the problems were obvious and understandable, disagreements over some current activity, intimidation, tired or stressed, hungry, etc.. Hug, hold, iodine, pasta, stern looks, and goofy jokes, time with them one on one..

Later years were and still are deep seeded and more profound.. Relationships with authority, school, sports, work, parents, and social, and cultural restrictions.. No easy stuff but usually manageable with simple logic..

Usually, very young girls are simple for dads.. Patience, love, touching, holding, singing, dancing, laughing, finger sandwiches and teaching cooking.. :)

Teenage girls, young women.. GULP! YIKES.. to be continued.. :)


10 posted on 10/07/2012 6:12:08 PM PDT by carlo3b (Less Government, more Fiber..)
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To: GiovannaNicoletta
Let’s get one thing clear from the get go: moms are generally better parents than dads.

Right there, he's said that men can just drop the ball and drop the responsibility right along with it, and they pre-excuse themselves because ... they're male, I guess. But they'll come back later to blame everything on women.

FReep you and the horse you rode in on. Take responsibility for yourself and your children, or stop calling yourself a man and say you're a male ape.

11 posted on 10/07/2012 7:00:16 PM PDT by Tax-chick (Una bruja.)
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To: GiovannaNicoletta

The girls, my high school son seems to be involved with, seem so demanding. I don’t get it. When I was in high school If I bought a girl a beer I was a hero. Crap If my son doesn’t spend spend spend he is a tight wad.


12 posted on 10/07/2012 7:10:58 PM PDT by central_va ( I won't be reconstructed and I do not give a damn.)
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To: GiovannaNicoletta

Thanks for this...


13 posted on 10/07/2012 7:20:00 PM PDT by Conservative4Life (Those who don't learn from the past are condemned to repeat it. Elections have consequences.)
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To: central_va

Your son should meet my daughter! She’s happy just hanging out watching a movie at home or going out and kicking a soccer ball around with a guy.


14 posted on 10/07/2012 7:57:59 PM PDT by freemama
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To: GiovannaNicoletta

Reared one of each here, as a single mom too, and the advice is spot on.


15 posted on 10/07/2012 8:22:21 PM PDT by Conservative4Ever (The Obamas = rude, crude and socially unacceptable)
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To: ican'tbelieveit

Yep, when in doubt hug...and tell them you love them, often. When my kidsand I were out in public and walking hand-in-hand, I would squeeze their hands three times...meaning...I love you. They do it with their kids, too.


16 posted on 10/07/2012 8:26:56 PM PDT by Conservative4Ever (The Obamas = rude, crude and socially unacceptable)
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To: Tax-chick

Word, Tax-chick.

The article may be spot on but it is also a glaring red flag reason why a boy needs TWO parents.


17 posted on 10/07/2012 8:30:46 PM PDT by Badabing Badablonde (New to the internet? CLICK HERE)
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To: GiovannaNicoletta

Thank you. This is great advice and I see much of this behavior in my 7 year old son..


18 posted on 10/07/2012 8:41:46 PM PDT by pnz1
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To: GiovannaNicoletta

moms are generally better parents than dads

sorry, kids do better with a single dad than single mom.


19 posted on 10/07/2012 8:54:32 PM PDT by huldah1776
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To: GiovannaNicoletta

Mostly this is correct. I make a few minor exceptions though.

Back in the day we read three books over and over and over and over....
“Busy Timmy”, “Mike Mulligan’s Steam Shovel” and “Septimus Bean and his Amazing Machine”. We nicknamed the boy Busy Timmy. He always had something important to do and it was and still is either vitally important or not worth mention. He would fight sleep from the earliest days and only took a nap when absolutely exhausted. Sleep was more like some form of suspended animation and he would suddenly go limp and surrender. When he woke it was like hitting a resume button.

For the last nearly 30 years there has not been anything working well enough for him that could not stand to be fixed!


20 posted on 10/07/2012 8:56:54 PM PDT by Sequoyah101
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To: GiovannaNicoletta

bookmark.


21 posted on 10/07/2012 9:14:48 PM PDT by dadfly
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To: Conservative4Ever

I had to have surgery in January, and he was with me in the prep room. The nurses teased, thought it was my “boyfriend.” Poor guy. Anyway, as they were rolling me into surgery, they stopped to let us hug or kiss, nope, we really aren’t touchy, feely. And we have taken care of all of the emotional discussion in private.


22 posted on 10/07/2012 9:24:14 PM PDT by ican'tbelieveit (School is prison for children who have commited the crime of being born. (attr: St_Thomas_Aquinas))
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To: ican'tbelieveit

Son’s are special, that is for sure. I hope your surgery went well.


23 posted on 10/07/2012 10:21:33 PM PDT by Conservative4Ever (The Obamas = rude, crude and socially unacceptable)
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To: Tax-chick

Exactly!


24 posted on 10/07/2012 10:37:42 PM PDT by Frapster (ugh)
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To: Conservative4Ever

Perfect, had a little cancer taken out. Amazing what a little bitty thing can do to a person. How sick it can make you.


25 posted on 10/07/2012 10:57:40 PM PDT by ican'tbelieveit (School is prison for children who have commited the crime of being born. (attr: St_Thomas_Aquinas))
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To: Tax-chick

“FReep you and the horse you rode in on. Take responsibility for yourself and your children, or stop calling yourself a man and say you’re a male ape.”

It took 11 posts before someone slapped this lame, excuse-making clown. Nice job.


26 posted on 10/08/2012 7:19:12 AM PDT by TalBlack (Evil doesn't have a day job.)
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To: TalBlack

A father giving advice to single mothers about rearing sons ... the pathology of our society in a nutshell. Maybe he has some good suggestions. “Here’s how you can better do the job I should be doing.”


27 posted on 10/08/2012 7:42:40 AM PDT by Tax-chick (Una bruja.)
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To: Tax-chick

Pretty wide brush you’re painting with, there.

Most divorces are initiated by the woman.

Most are not as a result of any abuse by the man.

Most, as in my case, were the result of a woman not feeling “fulfilled” when her husband was out breaking his ass trying to support the family. No abuse, no harsh treatment. One problem was that I didn’t become her female pal like she wanted me to.

Although she tried everything possible to remove my kids from my life, I fought to stay a father, and it cost me many thousands of dollars. As each of the kids entered their teens, they came to live with me. One is now 30, the other is 25. They would have been a lot better off if their mother had had and used this information.

And yes, the advice given in the article is absolutely spot-on.


28 posted on 10/08/2012 8:33:30 AM PDT by AbnSarge
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To: AbnSarge

I’m sorry about your circumstances. However, unless you agree with the author that women are better parents than men, I don’t think you disagree with me.


29 posted on 10/08/2012 9:16:37 AM PDT by Tax-chick (Una bruja.)
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