Posted on 10/27/2012 11:57:26 AM PDT by chasio649
Next time you find yourself in a smart wine bar, pilates studio or high-end boutique, cast an eye about and see if you don't spot a SWOFTY. A what? A SWOFTY - aka a Single Woman Over Fifty who, in between salon visits and sips of martini, is turning the traditional image of middle-aged womanhood on its head. Or ignoring it all together.
Cats, cardigans and canasta nights might be hallmarks of - gulp - spinsterhood in the popular imagination, but they have little to do with how this emerging demographic segment spends its time. SWOFTYs are much more likely to be exercising, dining out, tweeting and booking spa holidays in Thailand.
"There's a lot of baggage around being a single older woman," explains demographer Mark McCrindle, "but these women are breaking that stereotype and reinventing what that life stage looks like. Their collective power in terms of health, education, fashion, beauty - everything - puts a lot of energy in this social category."
And this social category puts a lot of energy into fashion and beauty. Dressing youthfully, even provocatively, is a big part of the SWOFTY code - think teetering heels, luxe accessories and a hint of animal print. But make no mistake, the SWOFTY is, at best, a distant cousin of that other much-analysed female phenomenon, the Cougar.
Unlike sexually-aggressive older women with a predilection for younger men, SWOFTYs aren't on the prowl. In fact, the full head of blonde highlights, the $400 jeans and the nights out on the town have nothing to do with meeting a man. "According to social norms, the stigma around being divorced or single is lifting," explains academic and social commentator Dr Karen Brooks. "These women feel empowered and incredibly comfortable in their own skin."
Their sartorial choices might err on the sexy side, but they're not making choices with men in mind. Quite the opposite, actually. In a recent poll of 1000 women over 50 by online retailer Isme.com, more than 60 per cent of respondents said the best thing about being single is being able to wear whatever they want, independent of a partner's opinion. And generally, that means dressing with more va-va-voom than they did when they were young, the same women said.
Of course, confident older women who are well groomed, physically fit and rocking a pair of leopard leggings would be considered catnip by many chaps. And SWOFTYs might dabble in internet dating, but it's a hobby rather than a raison d'être.
A separate survey found that 600,000 older women in the UK - a mixture of widows, divorcees and singletons - are opting for the single life. And according to Isme.com, a third of these women were enjoying their freedom so much, they were unlikely to settle down again.
Case in point, Christie Brinkley who, at 58, could be the poster girl for SWOFTYhood. "I can now say I would never get married again," the four-time divorcee said recently. "There's absolutely no reason to." But that doesn't mean the former supermodel is putting up her slippered feet with a tray of Krispy Kremes. Brinkley maintains a youthful physique with surfing, kayaking, paddleboarding, yoga, tennis and even a recent turn in the Broadway musical Chicago. Age and marriage have nothing to do with who she is, Brinkley says, like a true SWOFTY: "My age has so little to do with my image of myself. I don't feel that number is representative of my spirit, my energy or my anything."
Although society glamorises youth, our 20s and 30s are now consumed by mortgage payments, childcare and work pressures. The kind of pursuits Brinkley and her SWOFTY sisters enjoy would seem like a distant dream to many young women.
"Once you cross over that dreaded threshold and the burdens of youth are lifted, you have independence and time for yourself," says Brooks. "These could turn out to be the golden years, something to embrace."
Although Brooks worries that, like Cougar, the SWOFTY label could be pejorative, she agrees it may be empowering for women. "It's reassuring to know there are others acting as you do." And as far as labels go, SWOFTY is a lot better than 'spinster'. Or 'cat lady'.
SWOFTYS
Kim Cattrall She played the ultimate SWOFTY on Sex and the City, but how does the real deal compare for the 56-year-old? "I think, especially at this point in my life, I feel pretty happy," she said recently. "I like who I've become and it's always changing. I'm kind of embracing that." And on her fitness regimen? "I don't do it for a guy; I do it for me."
Elle MacPherson Lucky in the gene pool, but not so lucky in love, the Aussie model/TV presenter is just two years shy of fully-fledged Swoftyhood. To maintain her killer physique, the 48-year-old follows the famed 'clean and lean' Duigan diet, and indulges in regular facials, acupuncture and pilates.
Sheryl Crow Two preschool-age sons would be enough to keep the 50-year-old on the 'right' side of middle age, but the single mum (who was engaged to Lance Armstrong but has never married) is also a devoted jogger, surfer and Tracy Anderson enthusiast.
Heather Locklear Former TV star and rock wife, Locklear called off her third engagement in 2007 and has since been revelling in her SWOFTY status. Leaving her 51st birthday party at a swanky Malibu restaurant recently, Locklear was snapped in a mini skirt and thigh-high boots. She's also no stranger, reports say, to the occasional hit of Botox.
Paula Abdul The 'Forever Young' SWOFTY was married twice in the '90s and has since been lapping up singledom, dating younger men such as restaurateur JT Torregiani and businessman John Caprio. The 50-year-old former dancer swears by her gyrokenesis exercise machine and says another of her age-defying secrets is a kale and spinach juice she drinks daily.
Notable mentions These ladies might be in relationships, but there's still a touch of the SWOFTY about them: Sonia Kruger, Kerri-Anne Kennerley, Melanie Griffith, Madonna, Sharon Stone
What you said.
If you’re not middle-aged in your 50’s, when are you middle-aged?
Heather Locklear in thigh-highs and a miniskirt?
TTIUWOP......
I'm 50 and childless. The fact that I won't pass on my genes is of no concern to me whatsoever.
So if they’re not Cougars on the prowl for one night stands with younger men, and they’re not that interested in getting involved in a serious relationship, then what do they do for sex?
My guess is that while they like to look sexy, their sex drives are pretty low. Not the case with us men. We’re as horny at 55 as we were at 16. And the last thing we want is to hear some aging feminist talking about who great they feel after going vegan, doing yoga for four hours a day, giving up alchohol and weed, taking homeopathic supplements, and surrounding themselves with crystals.
Personally, I’d rather have hot sex with a bar room floozy and then take her to the Burger King drive thru window and scarf down some Whopper meals while listening to some AC/DC or Led Zeppelin. At least loose women know how to have fun!
LOL, yeah right.
Is the author also trying to sell a bridge?
standwatie has a sister?
I know a gal who is 71 and alone. She is a big, liberal feminist.
She brags about how hellish she was to men back in her younger days. Now, she's all alone and whines about it. She can't seem to figure out why she's alone.
But who cares......
It was kind of interesting till they got to Christie Brinkley and other examples, none of whom I would find an inspiration were I a younger woman. They aren’t really “single” women; they’re divorcees. Viva la difference. There are many, many women in their 50s who’ve never married, much less 4x, who’ve had successful careers and made great lives for themselves. And I’d bet, their claims to the contrary notwithstanding, the celebs mentioned will all remarry at least once more.
You are so low brow..
I prefer Sonic.
Most dictionaries disagree with you. Middle-age the period of life from about 45 to about 64. Other dictionaries define it as starting at 40.
For women, middle-age is when you are past your fertile period, but not yet elderly.
Advertising? The article mentions that these women are high spenders on fashion, makeup, travel, and crazy diets.
So do you just get to be middle-aged for one year at most?
I’d think there are loosely at least a couple of decades in there. Probably roughly from 40 to 60. But then I know some people around the 60 mark who aren’t nearly ready for the ‘elderly’ classification. I’d say why not be generous and count it from 35 to 65?
Traditionally, “middle age” was defined as being past the point of having kids, but still young enough to be able to work.
Most old women end up alone whether or not they’ve been single all their lives or had 10 kids... just look at nursing homes (filled with mothers of somebody)... almost all women. Don’t know why men get to live surrounded by family in old age and women get mostly abandoned by family in theirs... but that’s the reality. I say, enjoy life while you can...
Some of the celebrities mentioned have been married three or four times. One failed marriage might let a person think, “I had bad luck,” but four should lead a sensible woman to conclude, “I have catastrophically bad judgment.” If I were in that situation, I’d devote my remaining years of life to singleness, a little travel, and good works.
This interests me in the same way travel-programming interests me, because I’ll never go anywhere or do anything much. When I’m 50, I’ll have a 5-year-old, and who knows, maybe a younger child.
Must be ex-trophy wives who had great divorce lawyers because real women can’t afford such silliness.
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