A couple were involved in a very bad automobile accident. The wife’s face was horribly scarred. After many months a team of doctors were brought in to assess the situation.
They decided that they could fix her up but it would take a huge amount of skin which could not be taken from the women without leaving more scars and more serious side effects.
Her husband stood up and said, “I have a large backside. You can take the skin from there no one will even notice anyway”.
After a series of operations the wife’s face was even more beautiful than ever.
She was so happy she exclaimed to her husband that she would do anything he wanted for sacrificing himself for her.
“I don’t want anything.”, he answered. “My reward is every time I see your mother kiss your cheek”.
A guy sitting in a bar is really looking nervous. Every time the door opens he jumps. Every time there is a noise he cringes.
The bartender after watching this for an hour finally goes over and asks, “What’s the matter with you?”
“Well I received a letter today that said if I didn’t stop fooling around with his wife he was gonna shoot me.”
For heaven’s sake, Why don’t you just stop fooling around with his wife?”
Came the reply, “I would but he didn’t sign his name!!”