Posted on 11/19/2012 1:19:23 AM PST by MacMattico
With all of the problems going on in the world, this is trivial, hence the vanity post. But an example of what's going on in our schools and who thinks they control our kids.
My niece signed up for what should have been a simple, easy "A" grade HS class. Purely an elective, having nothing to do with requirements or career. Turns out the teacher is a real piece of work. He's intimidating and creepy. (My nieces words.) I asked if anything had happened to make her feel "creepy" and she just said she doesn't like the feeling she gets when she's alone near him.
Her mother gave her permission to drop the class and take a study hall, as she is already taking a heavy load of courses and this may ease her workload. But the school refuses! They keep saying the add/drop period is over and if she doesn't show up she will receive zero's in every other quarter as well as on the final exam! Of course, they remind her, this will take her 90+ average overall and wreck that as well. Can a school do this? My sister doesn't have a lot of $ for an attorney and I just think this is wrong.
“Mom should use the term sexual harassment, because this teacher makes her girl feel threatened. That is a HUGE buzz word.
There should never be any situation where a school FORCEs a child to be ALONE with a teacher. PERIOD.
If the girl would talk to her counselor about the incidents that make her feel creepy it would help. I agree with the paper trail
If all else fails still DROP the class. It is NOT worth it to have a child feel threatened. Take a make up class in the summer. Insist that a note be placed in daughter’s file that the child felt threatened when forced by the school to be alone with the teacher and the school refused to act.
Mom must demand that the school NEVER require require this girl to be alone with the teacher. Either a teacher’s aide or MOM attends every session of this class.
Even out of his class I wold keep an eye on this creep. We all have vibes when we are with a creep.”
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What you said—absolutely.
Regarding recording: First check the law in your state about covert recording of a conversation without consent of all parties to the conversation.
In a stint at college as a married adult, I had an Ed Psych professor who set off my alarms. He was also my adviser that year. I couldn’t even put a name to my feelings, but after I was through with the year, there were newspaper articles about he and his wife holding sex and drug parties with students.
I gutted my way through the experience and dreaded the adviser meetings. Thinking back, I simply put out the most hostile vibes I could whenever I had to be alone with him. I recall him once launching into a ramble on cognitive dissonance and when he asked me if I understood, I said:”You mean, like I am feeling right now?” Took him aback, although he said absolutely nothing in reply and was my last session alone with him.
“You really don’t understand how evil some people can be, do you? And how easy an adult male in a position of authority can take advantage of an adolescent?”
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Agreed. Exhibit A: Jerry Sandusky.
Unfortunately, this is a part of life. Young girls will always meet creeps who will push the boundaries. Each girl must learn how to deal with them in their own individual way. It stinks but that’s life.
Your neice could have a parent remove her from school in the alotted time of that class. They could say doctor apt. or whatever, or you could simply take it to the school board. Also threatening to remove you kid from the system also works. The school gets a certain amount of federal dollars for each kid. If your neice wasn’t enrolled they would be minus that cash. This will usually get them to make special arrangements. Also you could claim that it is causing her mental damage to be in his class and get a note from a psychologist. This would also work. They would be forced to remove her for medical reasons.
“A side note, my dad had a habit of showing up at school if something offended him about what happened to me. He understood I needed protection given an unstable childhood prior to his adopting me. He would make principals scurry.”
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Thank G*d you found a protective dad; I’m happy for you. ) Take care,
Julie
I wouldn’t worry about recording laws in this youtube age - especially for someone underage.
Just having the power in her hands of recording what may be going on will give her a new perspective on the situation - she should not feel like a victim - she will control the outcome. She can use this throughout life - it will be her teaching moment....she needs to take control of the situation for this moment and for the rest of her life. Mom won’t be there when she’s older....she needs to pull herself out of any victim-mentality she’s going through now. Learn it young.
Yes, drop the class but always the parent should find out more details themselves.
“Doesn’t have a father figure in her life”. That’s bad news, girls are especially vulnerable in that instance, it’s called “Daddy hunger” and makes them very pliable.
I agree with others that she should always have somebody with her when she’s with this teacher.
Does her mom know the psychological problems girls have when they don’t have a dad? If she knew, it might help the mom stave off the worst consequences. there are books about this on Amazon. Just use the search word Dads, you’ll come up with a bunch.
Big whoop.
There isn’t a single thing that this teacher is reported to have said that is inappropriate, yet Freepers are ready to torpedo his career with written complaints of sexual harassment. The hysteria here makes it sound like a liberal website, except we’re not even talking about thought crimes. Freepers are urging the teacher to be punished for the thought that there might be a thought crime being committed—or because of the thought that he maybe would commit a crime given the opportunity.
Women using that kind of threat to destroy careers only makes it harder for men to want to interact with them in a professional or educational environment at all.
If the girl’s parents insist, I’m sure she won’t be made to spend time with him alone—and they may just let her drop the class without the usual ding on her GPA.
The problem is the official stance of public school is to never ever allow the student/parent to change their class once it starts.
My experience with 20+ years of kids in public school is you have to find an angle where the teacher or principal thinks it is in their best interest to move the child from the class. The moment you make it about the child the knee-jerk response will be NO.
Perhaps the parents can ask for a private meeting and explain to the principal that you are very very concerned for the teacher. The parents can explain that their daughter is very dramatic and has a track record of making accusations that may not be founded in truth. You can hint that the teacher may remind her of someone who hurt her previously.
As parents you understand the nature that sexual accusations are very hard to disprove and that you are so concerned for this teacher’s career that you want to warn the school so they can protect themselves. Your daughter has indicated that the teacher makes her uncomfortable and you fear that your daughter may make public accusations. Suggest counseling for your daughter...they love counseling. Suggest meetings to clear the air with the teacher, parents, etc. However its is proposed, it must be all about the teacher and not the child.
If you focus on what is best for the teacher they will likely find a way to remove her as a threat. If you focus on her best interests then you will always loose in this context. They cannot have parents running the school on behalf of their children. It sets the wrong precedent. They must perceive that they are in control.
Chill- No one is threatening to “torpedo anyone’s career”
the child is brave enough to tell her mother and others that something feels not right, and she just does not want to be in alone in one-on-one art sessions with this man
yet the school is forcing the issue
The school AND the teacher are not even willing to make a reasonable accomodation such as that classes be held when others are using the art lab. What kind of teacher or adult insists that a child be forced to continue in this uncomfortable situation and offers no alternative except threats?
As a Mom, in my mind that alone sets off distant alarm bells
Who is the bully here?
if it's an 18-year-old senior (or even a 17-year old), then it's time she learns to deal with "creepy" people in an adult manner.
Probably the end result of this is that students will get less individual art instruction.
But there certainly are people on this thread advocating filing an official sexual harassment complaint against the teacher — and making sure that it goes into his permanent record.
That is vigilante thought policing.
Expanding on the counseling idea. Schools do offer counseling. Your niece needs counseling to stay in this class. Counseling by the school will serve multiple purposes. It establishes a great paper trail, it increases their costs and it creates an internal person who will have an obligation to your niece as well as the school.
If they do not offer counseling willing, the next step is to qualify this emotional feeling of your niece as a section 504 issue. Real or perceived, she has an emotional problem that is interfering with her ability to obtain an education. If you can get a family DR to acknowledge her anxiety and to recommend counseling you will have gold standard for 504.
http://articles.familylobby.com/600-section-504-in-education-—can-it-benefit-you.htm
my daughter would survive high school just fine without “individual art sessions” alone with a male teacher who gives her creep vibes
The advice has been to allow the mother to protect her daughter. Advice to file “official” sexual harasssment complaint is groundless unless and until he takes an action. I would never want it to get to that stage
If the teacher cares about his student (or his record) he will work with the family on their suggested accomodations- such as holding his “individual” classes in a public place like a section of the art lab where other students and faculty are present, or dropping “individual instruction” in favor of tandem or small group sessions
Seems like a no brainer for a normal teacher
It is ALWAYS OK to remove yourself from an uncomfortable situation or to communicate with others and to ask for help
It is always OK to not be forced into being “nice” to a creep, or to be subservient to one who is a male authority role, out of fear someone will think we are being silly, over emotional, or troublemakers
This child (vulnerable teen girl, no father figure) is already trying to deal with this teacher in an adult manner by talking to her mother, and suggesting ways to work with this man in a setting where she has the comfort level of others present being present.
Yet he is refusing.
That odd refusal to make any accommodation gets bad vibes from me. I would pull my child from the class and if necessary, the school
Do you have a teenage daughter? The willingness of a teenager to communicate this problem with a parent is a gift, and a cry for help. I would NEVER tell her to deal with a man giving her bad vibes on her own, much less leave her on her own with a high school teacher in power to give her failing grade for refusing to be totally alone with him and him insisting that she BE totally alone with him or fail
I do have teen daughters. Girls cannot be cocooned forever. The solution is to teach them how to take care of themselves, especially if they are 17/18-year-old young adults.
does this “art” class involve someone getting naked?
Because that should be illegal.
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