A woman shopping at her local supermarket selected a quart of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of Romaine lettuce, a 2-lb. can of coffee, and a 1 lb. package of bacon.
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a shabby drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.
The drunk said, “You must be single.”
The woman, a bit startled but intrigued by his intuition, looked at her six items on the belt. Seeing nothing particularly unusual about her selections, she responded, “Well, as a matter of fact, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?”
The drunk replied, “’Cause you’re ugly.”
There is a new study just released by the American
Psychiatric Association about women & how they feel
about their asses.
The results are pretty shocking:
1. Only 5% of women surveyed feel their ass is too big.
2. 10% of women surveyed feel their ass is too small.
3. The remaining 85% say they don’t care; they love
him, he’s a good man and they would have married him anyway!
Three men walk into a bar: a Frenchman, an Italian and an Irishman. Each orders one beer. Three flys fly into the bar and one fly lands in each man’s beer.
The Italian man plucks the fly out of his beer, says “tutto e bene” (all is well)” and drinks the beer.
The Frenchman shows his beer with the bug still inside it to the bartender and demands another beer.
The Irishman yanks the bug out of the beer, grabs it by it’s wings, shakes it while yelling:
“Cough it up, you wee theivin’ bastard!”