I learned the hard way when a pretty young bank teller asks, “Is there anything else I can do for you?” the appropriate response is NOT “Take off your blouse.”
Anyone know a good attorney?
19. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted a paycheck.
18. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
17. Chaos, panic and disorder — my work here is done.
16. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
15. Can I trade this job for what’s behind door #1?
14. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.
13. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
12. I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
11. A PBS mind in an MTV world.
10. Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
9. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
7. You!… Off my planet!
6. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
5. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
4. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
3. This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.
2. Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
And the number 1 think you shouldn't say ...
1. And your crybaby whiny-a$$ed opinion would be…?