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(-:(-:(-:THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD:-):-):-)
1-11-13 | Lucky9teen

Posted on 01/11/2013 4:24:19 AM PST by Lucky9teen

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To: BenLurkin

81 posted on 01/11/2013 9:14:47 AM PST by JRios1968 (I'm guttery and trashy, with a hint of lemon. - Laz)
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To: BenLurkin

82 posted on 01/11/2013 9:18:30 AM PST by JRios1968 (I'm guttery and trashy, with a hint of lemon. - Laz)
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To: ArGee

When we are born, we are cold, wet, and screaming. Life only gets worse.


83 posted on 01/11/2013 9:31:59 AM PST by a fool in paradise (America 2013 - STUCK ON STUPID)
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To: Lucky9teen

84 posted on 01/11/2013 9:34:32 AM PST by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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To: BenLurkin
"President Clinton, the plane will be landing soon. Please return your stewardess to her locked upright position."


85 posted on 01/11/2013 9:34:43 AM PST by a fool in paradise (America 2013 - STUCK ON STUPID)
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To: ZirconEncrustedTweezers
On the difference between authority and power:

The tax assessor wanted to visit Farmer Joe's farm. Knowing that assessments never fail to go up, Farmer Joe refused him entry. The assessor insisted he could get a warrant. Farmer Joe didn't budge.

Several hours later, the assessor returned and showed Farmer Joe a piece of paper. "This paper," the assessor informed him, "gives me the authority to go anywhere on your farm I please."

Farmer Joe said, "Be my guest. The pasture's unlocked."

So, the assessor went out and entered the pasture to begin his assessment. He was about halfway to the barn when he heard a snort emanating from its dark, cavernous interior. The assessor froze in his tracks. It was too late, for the bull had espied him and was now determined to run him into the ground. The assessor turned and ran toward the opposite side of the field. He noticed Farmer Joe leaning calmly against the fence and screamed, "Do something!!!!"

Farmer Joe laconically replied, "Just show him your paper."

86 posted on 01/11/2013 9:40:17 AM PST by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
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To: Arrowhead1952; All
My tax return
I just received my tax return for 2011 back from the IRS.
It puzzles me!!!
They are questioning how many dependents I claimed.
I guess it was because of my response to the question:
“List all dependents?”
I replied: 12 million illegal immigrants;
3 million crack heads;
42 million unemployed people on food stamps,
2 million people in over 243 prisons;
Half of Mexico; and 535 persons in the U.S. House and Senate.”
1 useless President.
Evidently, this was NOT an acceptable answer.
I KEEP ASKING MYSELF, WHO DID I MISS?

I'm stealing borrowing that


87 posted on 01/11/2013 9:40:32 AM PST by skinkinthegrass (who'll take tomorrow,spend it all today;who can take your income,tax it all away..0'Bozo man can :-)
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To: ArGee

88 posted on 01/11/2013 9:48:16 AM PST by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
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To: ArGee

89 posted on 01/11/2013 9:51:27 AM PST by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
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To: ArGee

90 posted on 01/11/2013 9:52:51 AM PST by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
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To: ArGee

91 posted on 01/11/2013 10:00:51 AM PST by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
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To: Lucky9teen

Waa Hooooo
First 88.


92 posted on 01/11/2013 10:02:53 AM PST by llevrok (ObamaLand - Where young people go to retire)
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To: ArGee

93 posted on 01/11/2013 10:06:19 AM PST by r-q-tek86 ("It doesn't matter how smart you are if you don't stop and think" - Dr. Sowell)
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To: Twotone
A Kentucky Soap Opera

A young man comes a runnin’ home, a yellin’- “Pa! Pa!, I'm a gittin’ married !!!!”

Now slow down, son. Tell me about this lucky child, says pa.

Well, she's reeeel purty and she can cook biscuits and squirrel almost as good as Ma. But the best part, pa? She's a virgin!!!

A virgin!! yells Pa. You ain't a gittin hitched to no virgin, son. If she ain't good enough for her kin, she's ain't good enough for our’n!!

94 posted on 01/11/2013 10:28:08 AM PST by llevrok (ObamaLand - Where young people go to retire)
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To: r-q-tek86

95 posted on 01/11/2013 10:48:47 AM PST by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
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To: ArGee

96 posted on 01/11/2013 10:49:40 AM PST by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
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To: ArGee

97 posted on 01/11/2013 10:50:43 AM PST by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
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To: r-q-tek86

A physicist, an engineer, and an architect walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Do you fellas want to wait until the architect is done, or should I just ship him home?”


98 posted on 01/11/2013 10:52:56 AM PST by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
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To: JRios1968; Lazamataz; Arrowhead1952; Lucky9teen

99 posted on 01/11/2013 11:01:15 AM PST by Old Sarge (We are officially over the precipice, we just havent struck the ground yet...)
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To: ArGee

100 posted on 01/11/2013 11:04:13 AM PST by the_devils_advocate_666
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