Dude. You should have it permantly super-glued on.
And enjoy this song.
KOCHANSKI You're there, I *know* you're there, you little sod! Come on, out! Out!
KOCHANSKI There's a mouse under here, its been scuttling around for about ten minutes.
KRYTEN It's not a mouse, ma'am, it's Archie.
KRYTEN My penis. It must have escaped.
KOCHANSKI You know, I'm really going to have to get my ears syringed; do you know what that sounded like to me?
KRYTEN I made one.
KOCHANSKI Forget my ears, maybe my whole *brain* needs syringing... You made one?
KRYTEN Mmm. Out of an old electron board, a loo roll, some sticky-backed plastic and an Action Man's polo-neck jumper.
KOCHANSKI Kryten, why do you want one? KRYTEN It's so humiliating, being posted to the Women's Wing just because I'm genitally challenged! So I decided to make one like Mister Lister's. Little rascal must have got bored jumping in and out of his hoop and made a break for it during the night.
KOCHANSKI No wonder I couldn't lure him out with a bit of cheese. This whole thing's making sense now.
KRYTEN Just leave this to me, ma'am. Here, Archie! Here, boy!
KOCHANSKI There he is!
[A small, gibbering critter suddenly hurls itself out and across the floor, tears around the room like a miniature whirlwind and shoots back under the bunk, where KRYTEN traps it under a bucket. Undeterred, the gibbering thing nudges the bucket out from under the bunk, lurches around for a moment, then whizzes out of the cell door and down a corridor]
KOCHANSKI Kryten, do you realise what this means?
KRYTEN No, ma'am.
KOCHANSKI It means you're a real man.
KRYTEN It does? Why?
KOCHANSKI Because now, like all men, you have absolutely no control over your penis.
KRYTEN I'm so proud! Archie, come back!