Tell Melas the ewok says hello.
"Makes me a sammich, Melas!"
Posted on 01/30/2013 10:23:05 AM PST by Lazamataz
>> WAYCISM: Everyone is so RACIST on Free RepubliKKK.
Provoking mêlée, are ya? /grin
Please tell me this is only an excerpt from your blog!?!
A reading from the Book of ZOT!
Brethren:
I say unto you that in this, the time of Many Sorrows, we have much to ponder. And through the allergies of the Great Cat, it would seem some have been granted all the time needed to reassess one’s place in Asgard.
Or whether one has a place at all.
For it did come to pass that due to the Global Climate Changes sweeping the atmosphere of Valhalla, a dirth of lightning has left the land with an abundance of trollkind.
Long months have passed, fellows of Freep, since we have seen anything but the smallest of static discharge. Alas! The sweet smell of Ozone had become all but a memory.
And as the Great Cat cruised the Rainbow Bridge in his specially outfitted SUV (with dual .50 cal headlights), vacationing with a sense of mercy and great purpose, the most fell of trollkind reproduced, plotted and schemed...for their numbers had been previously reduced in the last purge of Great Justice and Decency!
But trolls be what trolls be brethren. And what they be is determined, if naught else.
And as the memories of the Second Great Purge faded into lore, WTC911, most fell of all Trollkind, returned to Asgard. But there is some debate as to whether he really left in the first place, since the scrolls are conflicting as to his real actions.
For such was his way.
The Book of Zot is filled with the tales and travails of the deceitful. And on this count, WTC had proven to be a Master. Legion were the records of his ‘calling card’. For when searching for one who could be counted on to say one thing, yet do another, that road led invariably to WTC.
When a realm at peace needed strife and discord, WTC could be found standing at the mouth of it’s river.
When good people stood mocked and slandered unjustly, it was WTC who often ran the Front of House soundboard.
And his amps went to ‘11’.
And we won’t even get into his ‘porn’ fixation, who was ‘Zoomin’ who, how, why and othersuch, as his manipulations on the matter have been spread far and wide through his own efforts.
But know that climates change as they are wont to do. And the weather surrounding WTC911 had been predicted to be cloudy with a chance of Holy Amperage for quite some time.
And so it came to pass that one day, while WTC was out for his usual stroll, a careful path that took him far afield of the truth (less it soil him), that the Great Cat looked down from his throne on high and...
Sneezed.
Brethren, the sneeze of the Great Cat is both a terrible and wondrous thing! Filled with Amperage! And great mercy! For his allergic reaction to bullshit has the benefit of cleansing the Asgardean body politic of seriously negative odorous trollkind...or ‘SNOT’, for short.
And so did the Great Cat expel the SNOT from his system.
Book of...er...’SNOT’!
Chapter 12, Verse 1-18
“Of Trolls and Tissues”
Normie - Wandering Druid of Trollhenge
Cult of PALIN (Just for you WTC...HAHAHAHAHA!!!)
Of course,
I like 3-gun.
I like the cut of her jib too...
Outstanding.
Most of my family read chapter and verse......................and smirked. :-)
It needs to be released as a collection.
NICE! We need to create the Book of Laz, someday. :)
Only FReepers would get it. LOL
Bikkuri is the Keeper of the Book. I think he has them all jpg’d ;)
Thank you very much, Arrowhead1952!! God Bless TEXAS!!
We can’t. At least not on a family site ;)
Not only are we flirting on this thread, we’re flirting on the phone, too. ;-)
See, now that’s the problem. If more people lived in a fantasy world of Viking Kitties, trolls, an Asgardean/internet hybrid and Laz, the world would be a lot closer than it is to rational.
Seriously.
“The Book of Laz, a tale of wandering and humor. Oh, and a smidgeon of discovery. But only a smidgeon, honest.”
How do you two fit ON the phone?
It has to be a prtty big phone.
Excellent!
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