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Lazamataz Leaves FR! The Big Oh-P***!
My Fevered Brow | 1/31/2013 | By Laz A. Mataz

Posted on 01/30/2013 10:23:05 AM PST by Lazamataz

First, please click on this music link. This is a necessary part of the effect. Got it playing? Good! Now proceed with my Opus.

I have finally decided that enough is enough. This is my "oh,piss".

The reasons I am leaving Free Republic are three:

WAYCISM: Everyone is so RACIST on Free RepubliKKK. You all constantly post "Must be the Amish" and "Oh, those Amish again" or "Definitely the Amish" when some inner-city hoodlum starts with the shenannigans. That is so WAY RACIST that I call it "WAYSIS"!

I happen to BE an Amish, and I am tired of being blamed for everything. This is a picture of me on my bike.

I have heard it conjectured that the word "Amish" is a code word referring to a person of color, but I can prove that this is not true. Here is a picture of my Amish friend Jebediah. He is my BEST FRIEND and the Best Man in my wedding:

LACK OF ENDORSEMENT OF HOMOSEXUALITY: Then there is the fact that you are all on the wrong side of history (and the shower-soap) when it comes to butterfly-bowel-love. When it comes to homosexuality, we should be sensitive and loving to the giggling little donut-punchers. Never insult the pearl-necklace adorned tumblebunnies, or demean the limp-wristed prancing knob-jockeys in any way. There is nothing wrong with being a petal-covered swishing basket-burglar! If you are an effeminate queenie-baby genuflecting chicken licker, BE PROUD! Discrimination is no longer allowed to be directed at loafer-lightening grass-tickling pounders of fudge. NEVER! No, sir!It is time that we embrace the stool-pushed jolly-ranching graduates of the Assmasters school of backseat driving! Let us once and for all, put aside the prejudice against pink-sequin-adorned squeeze-friendly rectum-flagelators! Why must Free Republic be so hostile to Barbie hugging Broadway-showgirl tootsie-roll-eating lizard worshipers? The hostility I see exhibited to rump-radar-pinging, butterbutt loving, feathered drag princesses horrific, on this forum. There is no way that crisco-hoarding, rainbow-prancing, Fucsia Puffed batty boys deserve this sort of treatment. Can we STOP being so cruel to glitter-loving tail-tickling Cleveland Steamer pooftahs? Can we EVER be civil to three-dollar-bill-collecting rollerblading fan-TAS-tic sword swallowers? Why can't Free Republic be kinder to gerbil-feeding flower sniffing rainbow-squatting bottoms-up boys? This forum is so cruel to chalk-licking lavender sniffing cheeky merrymonkey pole-vaulters! Why are we so cruel to silent-screaming bed-bouncing pump-wearing butt pilots??!? It is wrong to single out and criticize the feminine-acting, stick-twiddling parade-marching ball-jugglers. They cannot help it that they are merrily-hopping NPR-listening musical-favoring chin-trauma patients. Do not ever again mock the whinnying crochet-loving sweetwater flaming mushroom-polishers and the sweetly-flaming pole-licking sequin-wearing arsehole patrollers.

So, it is clear that you are ALL on the wrong side of history and morality, and it is time that I must leave Free Republic because of it.

EXCESSIVE VIOLINS:

You are all so violet here on Free Republic. There is so much violins! I see violin talk ALL THE TIME on this forum. People talk about 'stringing people up' and 'making them face music' and 'fingering their necks' all the time. They talk about 'drawing a bow' across them, and 'playing them like a fiddle', and other such violin references. I cannot take the violins here any more.

This is so sad. I am sad because things didn't go my way. Maybe something didn't work out the way I hoped. My feelings got hurt. I feel sad that someone let me down, left me out, or hurt my feelings with something he or she said. I lost something special. Maybe I lost something that was special to me. Or maybe my favorite shirt got shrunk in the wash and now I can't wear it anymore. I miss someone. I might feel sad when I'm missing someone or have to say goodbye. Maybe my favorite friend moved to a new state, or my big brother went away to college, or my parent is away on vacation. I heard about something sad. I might feel sad when I watch a sad movie, read a sad part in a book, or someone tells me about a sad thing that happened. If someone I care about is sad, I might feel sad, too. And what if someone dies> It's natural to feel sad if someone dies, like a close relative, or I lose a pet. That kind of sadness has a special name — grief. A problem makes me sad. Problems like bullying, friendship troubles, or difficult work schedules can sometimes make me feel sad.

So, it is so hard to leave, but I must, because Free Republic was SO MUCH BETTER before, and now it is SO MUCH WORSE. In fact, it was SO MUCH BETTER mere seconds ago, and now it is SO MUCH WORSE a few seconds from now. Every second that ticks by, Free Republic just imploded completely, because you all are so awful, and I am so great. I really am so great. Here I am, as a matter of fact.



TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Miscellaneous; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: bestohpissever; opiss; opus; revesupotsrow; snettikgnikiv; ztbi
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I am not actually opusing, to the dismay and disappointment of many of you. This is just my entry to the Opus Fundraising Contest.
1 posted on 01/30/2013 10:23:12 AM PST by Lazamataz
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To: Lazamataz

You had us going there for a moment, Laz!


2 posted on 01/30/2013 10:26:03 AM PST by Ken522
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To: Lazamataz

Damn.


3 posted on 01/30/2013 10:26:47 AM PST by Larry Lucido
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To: Lazamataz

I was hoping this was real... I might actually have a chance to “hit that” before you did...


4 posted on 01/30/2013 10:26:47 AM PST by Texican72
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To: Lazamataz

LOL...very good Laz...as usual


5 posted on 01/30/2013 10:26:47 AM PST by Cuttnhorse (God made man but Sam Colt made them equal)
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To: Lazamataz
"I am not actually opusing..."

Oh piss...!

6 posted on 01/30/2013 10:26:52 AM PST by Mr. K (There are lies, damned lies, statistics, and democrat talking points.)
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To: Lazamataz

Hey, put up that laz/humblegunner picture.

Hahaahahahaaaaaa.....


7 posted on 01/30/2013 10:26:58 AM PST by Red Steel
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To: Lazamataz

8 posted on 01/30/2013 10:27:46 AM PST by E. Pluribus Unum (TYRANNY: When the people fear the politicians. LIBERTY: When the politicians fear the people.)
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To: Lazamataz

Salem spelled backwards; Is that you?


9 posted on 01/30/2013 10:28:32 AM PST by Responsibility2nd (NO LIBS. This Means Liberals and (L)libertarians! Same Thing. NO LIBS!!)
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To: Lazamataz

FR was so much younger then. It’s older than that now


10 posted on 01/30/2013 10:29:23 AM PST by Larry Lucido
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To: Lazamataz
Your music link reminded me of this . . . way, way sadder.
11 posted on 01/30/2013 10:29:51 AM PST by Olog-hai
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To: wtc911; Melas; EveningStar

Dedicated to the Race Trolls, the Opussers, and those that defend them, everywhere. This Bud’s for you!


12 posted on 01/30/2013 10:30:53 AM PST by Lazamataz (LAZ'S LAW: As an argument with liberals goes on, the probability of being called racist approaches 1)
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To: Lazamataz
Laz, it seems that you have too much time on your hands. Give me your watch.

Good job.

P.S. I donated January 2...

13 posted on 01/30/2013 10:32:16 AM PST by Wingy
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To: Lazamataz

Laz, If you ever leave FR there can only be one reason. Not enough people following the rules and posting attractive pictures.

But picturing you as “the Amish that would hit it”, was a good laugh!


14 posted on 01/30/2013 10:32:44 AM PST by DannyTN
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To: Olog-hai

That was the saddest thing I have ever heard.


15 posted on 01/30/2013 10:32:55 AM PST by Lazamataz (LAZ'S LAW: As an argument with liberals goes on, the probability of being called racist approaches 1)
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To: Lazamataz

Laz, I always suspected you were Amish!


16 posted on 01/30/2013 10:32:58 AM PST by Perseverando (Gun control? It's really not about gun control is it? It's really about PEOPLE CONTROL!)
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To: Lazamataz

Trollville.


17 posted on 01/30/2013 10:33:38 AM PST by Red Steel
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To: Lazamataz


18 posted on 01/30/2013 10:33:38 AM PST by KC_Lion (Build the America you want to live in at your address, and keep looking up.-Sarah Palin)
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To: Lazamataz
We're going to give thou and offer thou can't refuse.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
19 posted on 01/30/2013 10:34:03 AM PST by cripplecreek (REMEMBER THE RIVER RAISIN!)
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To: Lazamataz
I am not actually opusing, to the dismay and disappointment of many of you. This is just my entry to the Opus Fundraising Contest.

You have my vote.

I'm a sucker for sad pianos.

20 posted on 01/30/2013 10:34:03 AM PST by Flycatcher (God speaks to us, through the supernal lightness of birds, in a special type of poetry.)
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