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Lazamataz Leaves FR! The Big Oh-P***!
My Fevered Brow | 1/31/2013 | By Laz A. Mataz

Posted on 01/30/2013 10:23:05 AM PST by Lazamataz

First, please click on this music link. This is a necessary part of the effect. Got it playing? Good! Now proceed with my Opus.

I have finally decided that enough is enough. This is my "oh,piss".

The reasons I am leaving Free Republic are three:

WAYCISM: Everyone is so RACIST on Free RepubliKKK. You all constantly post "Must be the Amish" and "Oh, those Amish again" or "Definitely the Amish" when some inner-city hoodlum starts with the shenannigans. That is so WAY RACIST that I call it "WAYSIS"!

I happen to BE an Amish, and I am tired of being blamed for everything. This is a picture of me on my bike.

I have heard it conjectured that the word "Amish" is a code word referring to a person of color, but I can prove that this is not true. Here is a picture of my Amish friend Jebediah. He is my BEST FRIEND and the Best Man in my wedding:

LACK OF ENDORSEMENT OF HOMOSEXUALITY: Then there is the fact that you are all on the wrong side of history (and the shower-soap) when it comes to butterfly-bowel-love. When it comes to homosexuality, we should be sensitive and loving to the giggling little donut-punchers. Never insult the pearl-necklace adorned tumblebunnies, or demean the limp-wristed prancing knob-jockeys in any way. There is nothing wrong with being a petal-covered swishing basket-burglar! If you are an effeminate queenie-baby genuflecting chicken licker, BE PROUD! Discrimination is no longer allowed to be directed at loafer-lightening grass-tickling pounders of fudge. NEVER! No, sir!It is time that we embrace the stool-pushed jolly-ranching graduates of the Assmasters school of backseat driving! Let us once and for all, put aside the prejudice against pink-sequin-adorned squeeze-friendly rectum-flagelators! Why must Free Republic be so hostile to Barbie hugging Broadway-showgirl tootsie-roll-eating lizard worshipers? The hostility I see exhibited to rump-radar-pinging, butterbutt loving, feathered drag princesses horrific, on this forum. There is no way that crisco-hoarding, rainbow-prancing, Fucsia Puffed batty boys deserve this sort of treatment. Can we STOP being so cruel to glitter-loving tail-tickling Cleveland Steamer pooftahs? Can we EVER be civil to three-dollar-bill-collecting rollerblading fan-TAS-tic sword swallowers? Why can't Free Republic be kinder to gerbil-feeding flower sniffing rainbow-squatting bottoms-up boys? This forum is so cruel to chalk-licking lavender sniffing cheeky merrymonkey pole-vaulters! Why are we so cruel to silent-screaming bed-bouncing pump-wearing butt pilots??!? It is wrong to single out and criticize the feminine-acting, stick-twiddling parade-marching ball-jugglers. They cannot help it that they are merrily-hopping NPR-listening musical-favoring chin-trauma patients. Do not ever again mock the whinnying crochet-loving sweetwater flaming mushroom-polishers and the sweetly-flaming pole-licking sequin-wearing arsehole patrollers.

So, it is clear that you are ALL on the wrong side of history and morality, and it is time that I must leave Free Republic because of it.

EXCESSIVE VIOLINS:

You are all so violet here on Free Republic. There is so much violins! I see violin talk ALL THE TIME on this forum. People talk about 'stringing people up' and 'making them face music' and 'fingering their necks' all the time. They talk about 'drawing a bow' across them, and 'playing them like a fiddle', and other such violin references. I cannot take the violins here any more.

This is so sad. I am sad because things didn't go my way. Maybe something didn't work out the way I hoped. My feelings got hurt. I feel sad that someone let me down, left me out, or hurt my feelings with something he or she said. I lost something special. Maybe I lost something that was special to me. Or maybe my favorite shirt got shrunk in the wash and now I can't wear it anymore. I miss someone. I might feel sad when I'm missing someone or have to say goodbye. Maybe my favorite friend moved to a new state, or my big brother went away to college, or my parent is away on vacation. I heard about something sad. I might feel sad when I watch a sad movie, read a sad part in a book, or someone tells me about a sad thing that happened. If someone I care about is sad, I might feel sad, too. And what if someone dies> It's natural to feel sad if someone dies, like a close relative, or I lose a pet. That kind of sadness has a special name — grief. A problem makes me sad. Problems like bullying, friendship troubles, or difficult work schedules can sometimes make me feel sad.

So, it is so hard to leave, but I must, because Free Republic was SO MUCH BETTER before, and now it is SO MUCH WORSE. In fact, it was SO MUCH BETTER mere seconds ago, and now it is SO MUCH WORSE a few seconds from now. Every second that ticks by, Free Republic just imploded completely, because you all are so awful, and I am so great. I really am so great. Here I am, as a matter of fact.



TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Miscellaneous; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: bestohpissever; opiss; opus; revesupotsrow; snettikgnikiv; ztbi
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I am not actually opusing, to the dismay and disappointment of many of you. This is just my entry to the Opus Fundraising Contest.
1 posted on 01/30/2013 10:23:12 AM PST by Lazamataz
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To: Lazamataz

You had us going there for a moment, Laz!


2 posted on 01/30/2013 10:26:03 AM PST by Ken522
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To: Lazamataz

Damn.


3 posted on 01/30/2013 10:26:47 AM PST by Larry Lucido
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To: Lazamataz

I was hoping this was real... I might actually have a chance to “hit that” before you did...


4 posted on 01/30/2013 10:26:47 AM PST by Texican72
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To: Lazamataz

LOL...very good Laz...as usual


5 posted on 01/30/2013 10:26:47 AM PST by Cuttnhorse (God made man but Sam Colt made them equal)
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To: Lazamataz
"I am not actually opusing..."

Oh piss...!

6 posted on 01/30/2013 10:26:52 AM PST by Mr. K (There are lies, damned lies, statistics, and democrat talking points.)
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To: Lazamataz

Hey, put up that laz/humblegunner picture.

Hahaahahahaaaaaa.....


7 posted on 01/30/2013 10:26:58 AM PST by Red Steel
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To: Lazamataz

8 posted on 01/30/2013 10:27:46 AM PST by E. Pluribus Unum (TYRANNY: When the people fear the politicians. LIBERTY: When the politicians fear the people.)
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To: Lazamataz

Salem spelled backwards; Is that you?


9 posted on 01/30/2013 10:28:32 AM PST by Responsibility2nd (NO LIBS. This Means Liberals and (L)libertarians! Same Thing. NO LIBS!!)
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To: Lazamataz

FR was so much younger then. It’s older than that now


10 posted on 01/30/2013 10:29:23 AM PST by Larry Lucido
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To: Lazamataz
Your music link reminded me of this . . . way, way sadder.
11 posted on 01/30/2013 10:29:51 AM PST by Olog-hai
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To: wtc911; Melas; EveningStar

Dedicated to the Race Trolls, the Opussers, and those that defend them, everywhere. This Bud’s for you!


12 posted on 01/30/2013 10:30:53 AM PST by Lazamataz (LAZ'S LAW: As an argument with liberals goes on, the probability of being called racist approaches 1)
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To: Lazamataz
Laz, it seems that you have too much time on your hands. Give me your watch.

Good job.

P.S. I donated January 2...

13 posted on 01/30/2013 10:32:16 AM PST by Wingy
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To: Lazamataz

Laz, If you ever leave FR there can only be one reason. Not enough people following the rules and posting attractive pictures.

But picturing you as “the Amish that would hit it”, was a good laugh!


14 posted on 01/30/2013 10:32:44 AM PST by DannyTN
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To: Olog-hai

That was the saddest thing I have ever heard.


15 posted on 01/30/2013 10:32:55 AM PST by Lazamataz (LAZ'S LAW: As an argument with liberals goes on, the probability of being called racist approaches 1)
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To: Lazamataz

Laz, I always suspected you were Amish!


16 posted on 01/30/2013 10:32:58 AM PST by Perseverando (Gun control? It's really not about gun control is it? It's really about PEOPLE CONTROL!)
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To: Lazamataz

Trollville.


17 posted on 01/30/2013 10:33:38 AM PST by Red Steel
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To: Lazamataz


18 posted on 01/30/2013 10:33:38 AM PST by KC_Lion (Build the America you want to live in at your address, and keep looking up.-Sarah Palin)
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To: Lazamataz
We're going to give thou and offer thou can't refuse.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
19 posted on 01/30/2013 10:34:03 AM PST by cripplecreek (REMEMBER THE RIVER RAISIN!)
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To: Lazamataz
I am not actually opusing, to the dismay and disappointment of many of you. This is just my entry to the Opus Fundraising Contest.

You have my vote.

I'm a sucker for sad pianos.

20 posted on 01/30/2013 10:34:03 AM PST by Flycatcher (God speaks to us, through the supernal lightness of birds, in a special type of poetry.)
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To: Lazamataz

You are incorrigible, and I thank you for it.


21 posted on 01/30/2013 10:34:14 AM PST by TADSLOS ( "I ask sir, what is the militia? It is the whole people except for a few politicians."-George Mason)
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To: Lazamataz

Opus is an anagram for soup.


22 posted on 01/30/2013 10:34:28 AM PST by Larry Lucido
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

I was looking for that pic! But I knew someone would post it. Turns out I misspelled Wace. Should have been WAICE.


23 posted on 01/30/2013 10:34:30 AM PST by Lazamataz (LAZ'S LAW: As an argument with liberals goes on, the probability of being called racist approaches 1)
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To: Lazamataz

I thought your oh.piss was brilliant. I chuckled my through it until the end....that small yapping dog had my in stitches.

Thanks for brightening my day


24 posted on 01/30/2013 10:34:49 AM PST by Nifster
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To: Lazamataz

Thought I’d get here early. Under ten? Hah! Likely post 30.


25 posted on 01/30/2013 10:34:58 AM PST by listenhillary (Courts, law enforcement, roads and national defense should be the extent of government)
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To: Lazamataz

*chuckle*

Yooooouuuu craaaaazy!


26 posted on 01/30/2013 10:35:06 AM PST by RushIsMyTeddyBear (Great vid by ShorelineMike! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOZjJk6nbD4&feature=plcp)
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To: Lazamataz

I knew you were a closet violin lover.


27 posted on 01/30/2013 10:35:56 AM PST by USS Alaska (Nuke the terrorist savages, start today.)
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To: Darksheare

A bit of dark humor for you.........


28 posted on 01/30/2013 10:37:02 AM PST by Lakeshark (!)
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To: Lazamataz

29 posted on 01/30/2013 10:37:08 AM PST by DannyTN
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To: Lazamataz

This is one of your top 43 posts.


30 posted on 01/30/2013 10:37:26 AM PST by Triple (Socialism denies people the right to the fruits of their labor, and is as abhorrent as slavery)
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To: Larry Lucido
Opus is an anagram for soup.

And 'cigar' is anagram for 'racgi'.

31 posted on 01/30/2013 10:37:46 AM PST by Lazamataz (LAZ'S LAW: As an argument with liberals goes on, the probability of being called racist approaches 1)
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To: Lazamataz

32 posted on 01/30/2013 10:38:39 AM PST by Red Steel
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To: Lazamataz
While I was reading this, my breath got short and I couldn't breath and I felt an overwhelming pain that enveloped my entire being.

Then I realized the cat was doing a 4 point stand in my lap while I was distracted by this thread.

/johnny

33 posted on 01/30/2013 10:40:23 AM PST by JRandomFreeper (Gone Galt)
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To: Lazamataz
Mods please add this to the rules under the heading: How to write an opus. Thanks!

Show'n how its done! Nice work Laz!

34 posted on 01/30/2013 10:40:45 AM PST by Casie (Chuck Norris 2016)
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To: Lazamataz
We of the bronze age luddite council find your Amish ways to be disturbing. This does not amuse us one bit.

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35 posted on 01/30/2013 10:41:53 AM PST by cripplecreek (REMEMBER THE RIVER RAISIN!)
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To: Lazamataz

Just donated 20.00 for your best opus ever.


36 posted on 01/30/2013 10:42:26 AM PST by katnip (Why Do Democrats Hate Babies?)
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To: Lazamataz

OK—I’ve calmed down. Now don’t do that again!!!!!!! You hear?????


37 posted on 01/30/2013 10:42:43 AM PST by Exit148
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To: Lazamataz

Lazamataz is an anagram for “Mazzaltaz!”

And that is a mailgram for Opus.


38 posted on 01/30/2013 10:43:37 AM PST by Larry Lucido
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To: Lazamataz

WWRMD?
(What Would Rage Monkey Do?)


39 posted on 01/30/2013 10:45:59 AM PST by Rio (Tempis Fugit.)
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To: cripplecreek

Don't even try. Laz already hit it. The one in the back with the light blue flower dress! Jeez. Preverts.

40 posted on 01/30/2013 10:46:52 AM PST by Uncle Miltie (Of the government, by the government, and for the government.)
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To: Lazamataz

Very good.


41 posted on 01/30/2013 10:47:12 AM PST by Jemian
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To: Lazamataz

42 posted on 01/30/2013 10:47:12 AM PST by McGruff (You know they can't post anything on the Internet that isn't true.)
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To: Lazamataz; Melas

You be bad, making fun of that melas guy for being such a wuss with his limp wristed opus.........


43 posted on 01/30/2013 10:47:40 AM PST by doorgunner69
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To: Lazamataz
You should have this instead of the Sad Piano Music, it fits with the EMO of Opus like Salem spelled backwards.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y983TDjoglQ

44 posted on 01/30/2013 10:47:56 AM PST by KC_Lion (Build the America you want to live in at your address, and keep looking up.-Sarah Palin)
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To: TheOldLady; Cyber Liberty; CatherineofAragon; Slings and Arrows; Responsibility2nd; doorgunner69; ..
The Official Lazamataz Sorry-Guys-I'm-Leaving-Opus-Opus-Opus Ping List
166 Satisfied Customers!™

45 posted on 01/30/2013 10:47:56 AM PST by Lazamataz (LAZ'S LAW: As an argument with liberals goes on, the probability of being called racist approaches 1)
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To: Lazamataz

What do you have against the purple pickle pushers?


46 posted on 01/30/2013 10:48:14 AM PST by Bullish (This usurper is leaving one hell of a poop stain on our Constitution)
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To: Lazamataz

I Like Your Ride, Laz.


47 posted on 01/30/2013 10:49:06 AM PST by left that other site (Worry is the darkroom that developes negatives.)
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To: Lazamataz; Revolting cat!; Slings and Arrows

48 posted on 01/30/2013 10:49:13 AM PST by a fool in paradise (America 2013 - STUCK ON STUPID)
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To: Lazamataz

49 posted on 01/30/2013 10:49:29 AM PST by smokingfrog ( sleep with one eye open (<o> ---)
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To: Lazamataz
Photobucket

50 posted on 01/30/2013 10:50:23 AM PST by smoothsailing
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