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Catching my daughter's teacher lying to me... (vanity)(sorry a little long)
Me

Posted on 02/07/2013 2:51:33 AM PST by MacMattico

I guess just looking for a little advice-- and reassurance that I'm doing the right thing.

My daughter has an overall HS average in the 90's. A 74 showed up on her report card, in a subject I am quite familiar with. I was not happy with this grade, as I have actually taught this subject before and was available daily for extra help.

I thought the responsible thing for me to do was to have my daughter approach the teacher, ask for help, go over her grades with her. I couldn't wait for this so I e-mailed the teacher asking for a list of all her grades for the quarter. Just about all of the other teachers provide this anyway. I got an e-mail back saying she had a few 80's, and some 70's that brought her grade down, and I could call if I wanted more information. I said no, I prefer to keep this conversation via e-mail, as I like written records of teacher conversations. BAMM!! This supposed experienced teacher wrote back saying my daughter was an inattentive, uncooperative girl that didn't hand in the final project and missed a test she never made up. She said my daughter acted uncontrollably, constantly laughing hysterically in class even when asked to read a passage or answer a question. There was more and it made my daughter sound like a stark raving lunatic. She said several times my daughter should have been written up, given detention, but she was (the teacher) nice enough not to do this. I was shocked and don't believe her. My daughter has six other teachers during the day. Each gave her rave reviews on her report card: quotes: "outstanding effort" ,"she is a pleasure to have in class", "she is bright, capable and good natured", "she is polite and respectful, a little SHY!" and "shows outstanding interest in subject matter". Needless to say I don't think this teacher saw her report card before giving me her line of BS. I e-mailed back if she deserved to be written up or given detention, it should have been given. And this teacher's policy is to give detention if an assignment is missed. Supposedly my daughter missed a quarter ending important project and didn't take a test! So after this back and forth, my daughter comes home from school. I asked fir her folder for this class-- she hands it to me-- I found the completed project, five pages, 100% correct! I ask again about her missed test. She tells me again she never missed a test. I said were you absent and forgot to make it up-- she's been absent one day, my mother's funeral! My daughter said no test was announced beforehand and she was not told of any test when she asked what she missed after missing one day for a funeral. I believe this teacher, who knew my daughter was at a funeral, used that day against her to claim now (never mentioned when I first asked for grades) that she didn't take an exam! She made my daughter sound crazy because I told her I was forwarding all of the e-mails to the Principal, which I still did because I knew with all of her other grades and comments, no normal person could side with the teacher. So he (Principal) asked if he could meet with my daughter. I said no problem. This school has a policy stating under no circumstances will a teacher be changed. Needless to say, after meeting with my daughter, he offered to change her teacher if nothing improves! But mid year this would change her whole schedule as it is such a small school and this class is only offered a few times. So my daughter went off to class and was probably more diplomatic then I in saying to the teacher, "well here's my project you probably just missed putting the grade in your book." and the teacher says -- no, she won't accept it! She freaking marked the thing already! I am furious! She said because she keeps all tests and quizzes (this is why my daughter had no idea what her test and quiz grades were --another reason I was furious-- how can you learn if you don't get your test back?) She said that she gave all of the students extra time to complete the project, and must have inadvertently handed my daughters back marked and complete. But she hadn't put the grades in her book yet so my daughter needed to "rehand" it in!! Now, if you got a project back with a 100% on it, do you think you would have to give it back? Only those that had not completed them handed them back in, she thought she kept all others. That's her mistake! And because she keeps all tests and quizzes I'm to the point where I think she may throw one of my daughters away to say she didn't do it. She says she keeps them so they can study for the final and she knows they're not lost-- but they don't even see them! She also mentioned other kids in her e-mail, and if I notify these parents, all hell will break loose!


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Education
KEYWORDS: paragraphs; publiceducation
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So the Principal is calling me tomorrow. So far he's seemed nice and genuinely perplexed by the teacher's behavior. He wants to talk on the phone, but if I have to I'll cut him off and revert to my "in writing, please" policy! This teacher must be ruining my daughters reputation with other teachers if she's willing to lie to me, her mother. And the only day she missed was my mother's funeral. The guidance counselor told me she told all of my daughter's teachers she was at a funeral, just to be aware it was a hard time. And it's the only day my daughter missed, and she says she skipped a test! I am FURIOUS! Talk me down, FRiends! (ha) I need to be calm for my Principal phone call--!
1 posted on 02/07/2013 2:51:49 AM PST by MacMattico
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To: MacMattico

Unless you format I’ll never know what you said


2 posted on 02/07/2013 2:55:57 AM PST by svcw (Why is one cell on another planet considered life, and in the womb it is not.)
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To: MacMattico

Actually, It’s today Principal is calling! Sorry the post is so long, but we chose this small district for our kids as the best one around! We’re stuck here until graduation! I shouldn’t say stuck, it’s mostly a nice place, but this is ridiculous and I guarantee nothing will happen to this teacher !


3 posted on 02/07/2013 2:57:51 AM PST by MacMattico
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To: MacMattico
I realize you're excited and want to get this out ... and I'm sure it's worth knowing, but I can't struggle through thousand word paragraphs like I could when I was younger and I could force my eyes and brain to obey.

They're both part of a coup taking p;ace in my being ... as I type.

4 posted on 02/07/2013 2:59:35 AM PST by knarf (I say things that are true ... I have no proof ... but they're true)
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To: MacMattico

Most teachers are nice, but there are those few. I’ve had some bad experiences myself when my son was in high school. My son used to take gun books to school and read them in his spare time, this was back in the 1990s. Well, that was a no-no even then! I had a teacher call me at work upset about it. They do pass around their impressions of students to other teachers and the kids get reputations they don’t always deserve.

I’m sure the principal will sort this out. Hang in there!


5 posted on 02/07/2013 3:00:16 AM PST by gattaca ("Great things can be accomplished if you don't care who gets the credit." Ronald Reagan)
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To: svcw

What didn’t I do?


6 posted on 02/07/2013 3:01:10 AM PST by MacMattico
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To: MacMattico

I made it through, with my magic no-line bifocals. (These also allow me to see dishes, laundry, cat-spews, and other things invisible to the rest of my family.)

No advice to offer other than (1) deep breaths, (2) expect attacks and try to remain calm, (3) take notes and immediately email them for review.


7 posted on 02/07/2013 3:06:40 AM PST by Tax-chick (Watch out for spiders.)
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To: MacMattico
Poster wrote: I thought the responsible thing for me to do was to have my daughter approach the teacher, ask for help, go over her grades with her. I couldn't wait for this so I e-mailed the teacher asking for a list of all her grades for the quarter. Just about all of the other teachers provide this anyway.

I got an e-mail back saying she had a few 80's, and some 70's that brought her grade down, and I could call if I wanted more information. I said no, I prefer to keep this conversation via e-mail, as I like written records of teacher conversations. BAMM!!

This supposed experienced teacher wrote back saying my daughter was an inattentive, uncooperative girl that didn't hand in the final project and missed a test she never made up. She said my daughter acted uncontrollably, constantly laughing hysterically in class even when asked to read a passage or answer a question.

There was more and it made my daughter sound like a stark raving lunatic. She said several times my daughter should have been written up, given detention, but she was (the teacher) nice enough not to do this. I was shocked and don't believe her.

My daughter has six other teachers during the day. Each gave her rave reviews on her report card: quotes: "outstanding effort" ,"she is a pleasure to have in class", "she is bright, capable and good natured", "she is polite and respectful, a little SHY!" and "shows outstanding interest in subject matter".

Needless to say I don't think this teacher saw her report card before giving me her line of BS. I e-mailed back if she deserved to be written up or given detention, it should have been given. And this teacher's policy is to give detention if an assignment is missed. Supposedly my daughter missed a quarter ending important project and didn't take a test!

So after this back and forth, my daughter comes home from school. I asked fir her folder for this class-- she hands it to me-- I found the completed project, five pages, 100% correct! I ask again about her missed test. She tells me again she never missed a test. I said were you absent and forgot to make it up-- she's been absent one day, my mother's funeral! My daughter said no test was announced beforehand and she was not told of any test when she asked what she missed after missing one day for a funeral.

I believe this teacher, who knew my daughter was at a funeral, used that day against her to claim now (never mentioned when I first asked for grades) that she didn't take an exam! She made my daughter sound crazy because I told her I was forwarding all of the e-mails to the Principal, which I still did because I knew with all of her other grades and comments, no normal person could side with the teacher.

So he (Principal) asked if he could meet with my daughter. I said no problem. This school has a policy stating under no circumstances will a teacher be changed. Needless to say, after meeting with my daughter, he offered to change her teacher if nothing improves! But mid year this would change her whole schedule as it is such a small school and this class is only offered a few times.

So my daughter went off to class and was probably more diplomatic then I in saying to the teacher, "well here's my project you probably just missed putting the grade in your book." and the teacher says -- no, she won't accept it! She freaking marked the thing already! I am furious! She said because she keeps all tests and quizzes (this is why my daughter had no idea what her test and quiz grades were --another reason I was furious-- how can you learn if you don't get your test back?) She said that she gave all of the students extra time to complete the project, and must have inadvertently handed my daughters back marked and complete. But she hadn't put the grades in her book yet so my daughter needed to "rehand" it in!! Now, if you got a project back with a 100% on it, do you think you would have to give it back? Only those that had not completed them handed them back in, she thought she kept all others. That's her mistake! And because she keeps all tests and quizzes I'm to the point where I think she may throw one of my daughters away to say she didn't do it. She says she keeps them so they can study for the final and she knows they're not lost-- but they don't even see them! She also mentioned other kids in her e-mail, and if I notify these parents, all hell will break loose!

8 posted on 02/07/2013 3:10:20 AM PST by LoveUSA (God employs Man's strength; Satan exploits Man's weakness.)
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To: MacMattico

use the < pre > tag to use copy paste paragraphs.


9 posted on 02/07/2013 3:14:41 AM PST by rawcatslyentist ("Behold, I am against you, O arrogant one," Jeremiah 50:31)
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To: LoveUSA
Thank you. I'm sorry I let my anger get the best of me and just typed without pause!
10 posted on 02/07/2013 3:15:27 AM PST by MacMattico
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To: rawcatslyentist

Thanks. It’s all done nicely in post #8 by a very nice person!


11 posted on 02/07/2013 3:17:26 AM PST by MacMattico
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To: Tax-chick

At first it looked like the teacher had your daughter confused with someone else in the class. Now it looks like this particular teacher doesn’t do well with your daughter and is willing to cover her tracks to cover herself. May need to re-think going to another teacher even if it causes turbulence in your daughter’s schedule. Perhaps both sit down with principal to see magnitude of turbulence and if it is tolerable.


12 posted on 02/07/2013 3:18:32 AM PST by Portcall24
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To: MacMattico
You keep asking for things in writing and this is ticking them off.

I went through a similar situation at a Catholic High School near Harrisburg PA. The teacher promised to help my daughter, then suggested that my daughter just wasn't bright enough to deal with the subject. He then set her up for failure in the next test.

I never pursued the situation because the Principal was not an advocate for me, she was staunchly supportive of the teacher.

I know you don't want to hear this, but "such is life".

My daughter went on to graduate magna cum laude from college and the unreasonable teacher died (he was very old).

In the words of Kenny Rogers, you gotta know when to walk away.

13 posted on 02/07/2013 3:18:57 AM PST by LoveUSA (God employs Man's strength; Satan exploits Man's weakness.)
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To: MacMattico

If you send your children to a government school, they are taught by government employees. They get a government education. You asked and you have received.


14 posted on 02/07/2013 3:19:42 AM PST by ALPAPilot
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To: MacMattico

Sounds as if this particular teacher is being defensive and political, triggered by your insistence upon e-mail for a record of the discussion.

Chances are, this has happened before, for there to have been such a reaction. Don’t give the teacher any further opportunity to try to recreate a back story to protect herself at your daughter’s expense.

Use the principal as an intermediary, provide a copy of this marked test, not the original, to the principal. Make certain to all concerned that you will brook no retaliation or mistreatment, including grades.

The principal so quickly offering to move your daughter to a different teacher indicates that she or he is familiar with certain problems that this teacher may have as well.

Your daughter’s reputation clearly isn’t the only one at issue, here. Use this to her advantage, starting with the date of the test she supposedly missed. Do not tell this teacher when her one absence occurred. Let her trap herself with a lie right in front of the principal.


15 posted on 02/07/2013 3:24:59 AM PST by RegulatorCountry
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To: MacMattico

You are going to win this, because you have documentation. The one thing I’ve learned in covering local government for my newsblog is that if it ain’t in writing, it didn’t happen.

You’ve got it all in writing.

In addition to corresponding with the principal, you may want to clue in your school board member and the superintendent. That way EVERYONE in the chain of command is in the loop and can’t claim ignorance.

Also, it will show the them you know what you are doing and are prepared to take all necessary steps to fix things.


16 posted on 02/07/2013 3:25:24 AM PST by abb
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To: MacMattico

How about recording phone conversations? Then transcribe them onto email and sending a copy to yourself.


17 posted on 02/07/2013 3:26:45 AM PST by chainsaw ("Two ways to conquer and enslave a nation. One is by the sword. The other is by Obama")
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To: MacMattico

Former teacher here.

I used to keep all tests also. But, only AFTER it was sent home to be signed by the parents.

I kept them as documentation in case a problem ever arose. Not sure what this teacher’s angle is.

And mentioning other kids in your email? In some states i think that’s actually illegal, depending on what was said.

Your daughter also needs a system of her own to keep track of her own grades .


18 posted on 02/07/2013 3:28:21 AM PST by DrewsMum
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To: MacMattico

First....I completely understand your anger and frustration. Believe me....I know.

Second....you’re right to fight it. Some pointers:

You said this teacher mentioned other students in her email(s) to you and that you know those kids’ parents.....forward the emails to them. Shine a spotlight on this wench; share the load with other parents whose children are being maligned by this lunatic. Send them TODAY and suggest that you all may want to get together with the school principal, as a group, and then possibly the school Superintendent. There is strength in numbers.

Next....your insistence on written communication-only is misguided; just wrong. You DEFINITELY want a face-to-face meeting with this teacher, the principal, and your husband (if necessary, even before you gather in the other parents for such a meeting). It’s easy for someone to lie and dance behind a keyboard; far more difficult in person. Such people tend to be cowards. MAKE her repeat herself in person, in the presence of the principal.

If you’re concerned about capturing what is said, record it. Let everyone in the room know that you are recording the meeting. It’s easy, and it will provide the proof/evidence you seek.

Don’t fight this alone, don’t fight it by email-only, and do NOT let it drop.

Lastly.....don’t let the principal throw some mollifying words at you, replete with hollow assurances, and expect the problem to disappear. It won’t. He will try....they always do....just to make the problem “go away”. Don’t allow that. Demand specific things, with written evidence/proof that these “things” are in fact accomplished.

It’s your right and your duty as a parent no matter what some educrat moron may say.

God bless and good luck.


19 posted on 02/07/2013 3:31:52 AM PST by RightOnline (I am Andrew Breitbart!)
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To: MacMattico

I can tell you’re upset. Don’t be.

It is very obvious that you must get her out of that school. If it is necessary to resort to written communications, that says volumes about your trust of the school’s authorites. Follow your insincts, withdraw and home school.

Home school. Get out and home school. You and your daughter shouldn’t be enduring this crazy, bureaucratic nightmare.


20 posted on 02/07/2013 3:34:49 AM PST by SatinDoll (NATURAL BORN CITZEN: BORN IN THE USA OF CITIZEN PARENTS.)
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To: MacMattico

You have been a wise mother in rearing your treasure. I pray for you today that you will seek God’s wisdom in prayer for how you ought to proceed. If I were to allow myself a wild guess, I’d say the teacher is jealous of the achievements of your daughter, perhaps she has a child of her own she only wishes were doing as well. The most important thing is that you not allow this incident to wound your child’s spirit. It might be better to take the Principal’s offer to change classes, because the academic challenge that presents is probably better than dealing with a raging adult with a negative agenda; win or lose, this ain’t over for her. For yourself, ask God to help you to forgive; by His grace He may even show you great and mighty things.


21 posted on 02/07/2013 3:35:16 AM PST by gusopol3
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To: svcw

>> Unless you format I’ll never know what you said

Interesting how the mind is affected by the stride and spacing of text.


22 posted on 02/07/2013 3:38:10 AM PST by Gene Eric (The Palin Doctrine.)
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To: MacMattico

Keep in mind emails can be faked much more easily than paper mail. You might want to resort to snail mail with signature confirmation. Make them understand that you’re serious. It costs, but your daughter is worth it.

Also, check out this site:

http://www.ratemyteachers.com/

You might pick up some interesting information on what other kids think of this teacher.


23 posted on 02/07/2013 3:46:42 AM PST by Fresh Wind (The last remnants of the Old Republic have been swept away.)
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To: MacMattico

Yikes!

I’d be mad too.

Keep us posted on how this turns out.


24 posted on 02/07/2013 3:55:02 AM PST by mom4melody
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To: MacMattico

Set up an appointment with the teacher and principle. Face to face. Bring your documentation and present the evidence to them. Be civil and calm.

If the evidence is as you presented it here there is no chance that you cannot win this argument. If the principle says no tell them you are going to the superintendent.

Under no circumstances become loud and offensive.

I would also talk to other parents as you might not be the only one with the same problem. At my wifes school one of the coaches was also half ass teaching biology and left in the middle of the year leaving half he grades not recorded. It screwed over several kids who were looking for scholarships.


25 posted on 02/07/2013 3:59:37 AM PST by DainBramage
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To: MacMattico

Physically go to the school and explain that the situation is unacceptable and put the burden on then. DEMAND dont ask. You have your daughters other grades to help back you up. If you are stonewalled, go to the DISTRICT. Find a superintendent and show them your child’s grades and once again politely DEMAND. And use the word UNACCEPTABLE and stand your ground. These petty bureaucrats work for YOU.

If there are 2 parents to make sure both are present. Be polite but FIRM.


26 posted on 02/07/2013 4:03:25 AM PST by Vaquero (Don't pick a fight with an old guy. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.)
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To: RightOnline; MacMattico

If you’re concerned about capturing what is said, record it. Let everyone in the room know that you are recording the meeting. It’s easy, and it will provide the proof/evidence you seek.
***Bureaucrats clam up when they’re being recorded. They will even refuse to say they are present. The trick is to bring 2 recording devices. Ostensibly turn off the one in the middle of the room, while the second one continues to record. As long as you’ve stated your intention to record the proceedings, anything said after that is no longer subject to an expectation of privacy.


27 posted on 02/07/2013 4:04:15 AM PST by Kevmo ("A person's a person, no matter how small" ~Horton Hears a Who)
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To: MacMattico

Why are you still subjecting your daughter to the abuse that is public education? If there is any future for this country lies in a massive move of children OUT of public education into homeschooling or private/parochial education. Even the private/parochial schools should be vetted for courses and content.


28 posted on 02/07/2013 4:05:12 AM PST by arthurus (Read Hazlitt's Economics In One Lesson ONLINE www.fee.org/library/books/economics-in-one-lesson)
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To: Kevmo

Recorded conversations are legal and admissible in many states if one party is aware, meaning that surreptitious recording may be done by an individual who is part of a given conversation.


29 posted on 02/07/2013 4:10:09 AM PST by RegulatorCountry
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To: Fresh Wind

There’s a bunch of teachers on that website from the high school I went to. Actually left a rating for the very first gym teacher I had when I was there, who was basically terrible. Bunch of teachers I had, as well as whose names I remember but didn’t have. Gonna add one I did have, who was the best teacher I’ve ever had.


30 posted on 02/07/2013 4:15:18 AM PST by wastedyears (I'm a gamer not because I choose to have no life, but because I choose to have many.)
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To: RightOnline; MacMattico
RightOnline is absolutely correct - These are the right tactics to use in dealing with the school leadership. Your objectives should be to protect your daughter and her reputation from this teacher and to make the principal and the other teachers aware that you are willing to persistently support your daughter and the other kids who this teacher may be mishandling.

Be calm and realize that even a little attention, given relentlessly, will overcome bureaucrats/get them to correct their actions. Remember that there is always somebody next up the line to contact if the highest you have reached so far doesn't respond.

Lastly, ignore the "punctuation/HTML nazis" - I didn't have any trouble reading your post.

31 posted on 02/07/2013 4:15:53 AM PST by Chainmail (A simple rule of life: if you can be blamed, you're responsible.)
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To: MacMattico

I can only say what I would do. I would use the word “bully” when describing this teacher’s behaviour towards my child when the principal calls. I would ask about the school’s anti-bullying policies and focus the conversation towards remedies using that. I’m sure it will not have any teacher “bully” language but I would pursue this course.


32 posted on 02/07/2013 4:20:46 AM PST by DocRock (All they that TAKE the sword shall perish with the sword. Matthew 26:52 Gun grabbers beware.)
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To: MacMattico

I feel for you!! I have a daughter who is a high school freshman and she has a 96 overall average so far. Her teachers love her and send home great reviews in her report card. So I understand!! If one of my daughter’s teachers randomly turned on her did this I would feel livid, helpless, and worried for her class rank, so I am empathizing that your state of mind is similar. I would be FURIOUS too!!

Unfortunately, this is life, and these things actually happen. It’s the worst part of being a parent, when something grossly unfair happens to our child and we are powerless to change it.

The best advice that I can think of is to get her switched out of the class. If a bad chmenistry has occurred, and it sounds at if it’s the teacher’s fault, there is little to be done, and you don’t want to have to go through the rest of the year like that. Unless, your daughter would then be in classes all day with no one in her circle of friends, which is very hard on a high school age girl. In that case, keep track of everything...

Good luck!! In the big picture this is good training for college, because this type of scenario is almost certain to occur somewhere along the way.


33 posted on 02/07/2013 4:24:50 AM PST by stonehouse01 (Equal rights for unborn women)
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To: MacMattico

Bring the pain. Don’t let that teach stick to your daughter and other students.


34 posted on 02/07/2013 4:26:25 AM PST by Little Ray (Waiting for the return of the Gods of the Copybook Headings.)
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To: chainsaw; MacMattico
And keep the original recordings, of course.
35 posted on 02/07/2013 4:26:50 AM PST by NonLinear (Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.)
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To: MacMattico
I think she may throw one of my daughters away

What, no recycling?

36 posted on 02/07/2013 4:27:29 AM PST by humblegunner
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To: stonehouse01

sorry - meant a bad chemistry (between the teacher and the daughter)


37 posted on 02/07/2013 4:28:21 AM PST by stonehouse01 (Equal rights for unborn women)
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To: MacMattico

This teacher is either crazy or senile and covering her tracks, or both.

The other thing to consider is that a student has hacked into the teacher’s email and is doing this. Probably not too likely, but keep it in the back of your mind.

I would also do a face-to-face with the principal, and record the conversation.

If this is the teacher truly communicating this stuff though, this person is mentally unstable. Go ahead and disrupt your daughter’s schedule, whatever it takes to get her away from this situation.


38 posted on 02/07/2013 4:39:16 AM PST by Mrs. P (Figures can lie, and liars can figure.)
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To: abb
You’ve got it all in writing.

Extremely important. Write letters for every conflict. Take the time to do it. Write a letter to the teacher. Write a letter to the principal. Keep it all in a folder. When they see you doing that, you will get a MUCH better response.

A MANY-year teacher here.

39 posted on 02/07/2013 4:39:59 AM PST by MeneMeneTekelUpharsin (Freedom is the freedom to discipline yourself so others don't have to do it for you.)
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To: Mrs. P
I would also do a face-to-face with the principal, and record the conversation.

Yes.

40 posted on 02/07/2013 4:41:10 AM PST by MeneMeneTekelUpharsin (Freedom is the freedom to discipline yourself so others don't have to do it for you.)
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To: MacMattico

You might win the battle but loose the war on this one. You might get the teacher forced to add the test grade into the grade book, but your daughter will never receive fair treatment from her.

Move her out of that class.


41 posted on 02/07/2013 4:41:36 AM PST by freemama
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To: MacMattico

Ok, here’s the opinion of a 42 year educator - 21 spent as a secondary school administrator on all levels. There is almost nothing that you can do about the grade unless the teacher agrees to change it. That’s the bad news. If you have your daughter’s school handbook, read it very closely, especially grading policies. Even if your daughter “missed” a test because of the funeral I’ll bet there’s a policy requiring the teacher to provide an opportunity to take the test, especially under the circumstances of a funeral which is an excused absence. State laws and school district policies - 99.9% of the time - do not allow an academic penalty for an excused absence. So, check the attendance policy part of the handbook. If you insist on the “in writing” form from the principal he will lawyer up and all you will receive is a form letter. Instead, start keeping a dated and timed journal summarizing all your conversations. It will be helpful. I know you are angry, but keep a smile on your face, especially with the principal or anyone else with whom you deal up the chain of command. The teacher is unprofessional, petty, vindictive and a bitch. The principal already knows that about her. It’s like having a crazy aunt in the family. He’s probably stuck with her and would love to get rid of her but can’t. Make him your ally, not your enemy. Above all, don’t mention the word “lawyer”: first, if you do the principal will clam up because to do otherwise is just stupid; second, they have deeper pockets and more money than you do; third, time is your enemy and your daughter will be 30 years old before the legal system finally regurgitates a verdict. You can win this: become an expert on policy from the handbook; the principal wants you to win it - trust me because I’ve been in his shoes.


42 posted on 02/07/2013 4:41:48 AM PST by Repulican Donkey
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To: MacMattico

In life your daughter will likely face bosses, co-workers, and subordinates like this teacher. How she deals with it will show what kind of character you have taught her to have.

When I was in sixth grade, way back in the dark ages, I had a teacher who singled me out for special treatment. She always singled someone out in every class. I never brought my problems home because, in my day, if you got in trouble in school, you got in bigger trouble at home. Other students told their parents of her unfair treatment of me. Those parents called my parents, who called the principal, and I was rescued from the teacher by being transferred into another class. This was about a quarter of the way into the school year.

The teacher showed her class (no pun intended) when she saw me being led into the other classroom, by saying to me, “I hope you’re happy now.” I didn’t reply. What would an 11 year-old of my generation say to a teacher? Nothing. I probably scored points with the principal and my new teacher (who was one of the best teachers I ever had) by keeping my mouth shut. There was nothing the principal could do about the teacher. She was an eccentric member of one of those local families who always get what they want.

In retrospect, I’m not sure that rescuing me was the best thing my parents could have done. Life is full of bullies. We can’t always escape them. We often need to learn to deal with them effectively, either by ignoring them, standing up to them, or, if necessary, tolerating them until a better option is found.

About fifteen years ago, one of the other members of that class told me that he had a grudge against me. After I was pulled from the class, the teacher singled him out for the special treatment that I had been getting.


43 posted on 02/07/2013 4:42:32 AM PST by Daveinyork (."Trusting government with power and money is like trusting teenaged boys with whiskey and car keys,)
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To: MacMattico

been there, done that..

the principal will side with the teacher, for the most part..

the best you can do is to get the project accepted and have the grade adjusted accordingly. If the teacher has decided to throw the test away you must prove this. You will not be able to. state that your daughter did not miss a test, to her knowledge, state the day she missed and why, and leave it at that..

you have proof of completion of the project, with grade. You do not have proof of the test.

these “people” stick together, so you will be beating your head against a wall.

Now, I have looked a teacher square in the face and said, “ you’re an a$$hole” and told my son to just not attend this class, which he failed ( the teacher told me to my face that he would not pass my son, ever, even if he got straight A’s )


44 posted on 02/07/2013 4:43:13 AM PST by joe fonebone (The clueless... they walk among us, and they vote...)
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To: MacMattico
We've run into this kind of situation before. We had a long, drawn out back and forth that involved the county. It depends on if the principal backs you or the teacher. You may want to begin reaching out to the superintendent and learning what your available options are, including transferring out of the class.

Keep in mind the school is part of the system and the system will not admit error...willingly. Be ready for a battle if the principal backs the teacher.

We "won" as much as possible at the end of our situation.

45 posted on 02/07/2013 4:47:09 AM PST by Caipirabob (Communists... Socialists... Democrats...Traitors... Who can tell the difference?)
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To: MacMattico

My vote goes with those advocating getting everything in writing. Email beats face-to-face. Tape recording still carries a stigma.

As others have said, if the facts are as you say, you are right and the teacher is busted. There is no reason to accept anything less than an apology. Not just a promise as to the future.

I agree with #13: “because the Principal was not an advocate for me, she was staunchly supportive of the teacher.” This is likely to be the case here, too.

“I have read your reply, and I don’t agree with your assessment of the situation. I reserve my right to bring this up with the Superintendent, the school board, other parents, and the press, if necessary.” Something like that is how I would end my first unsatisfactory exchange with the principal.


46 posted on 02/07/2013 4:48:14 AM PST by Chad N. Freud (FR is the modern equivalent of the Committees of Correspondence. Let other analogies arise.)
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To: MeneMeneTekelUpharsin

The visit will end the second you pull out the recorder. If you hide the recorder you are breaking the law - in some states it would be a felony.


47 posted on 02/07/2013 4:48:26 AM PST by Repulican Donkey
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To: MacMattico

“...but this is ridiculous and I guarantee nothing will happen to this teacher !”

What AMAZES me is that some 80% of public school parents get jerked around just like you, yet each of them feels that they alone have to take on the system, because the schools are so effective in ISOLATING every one of them - to make them think there is no widespread problem.

“You realize other parents are fine here, and you’re the only one complaining.”

...is a typical tactic - when their calendar is really full of complaining parents.


48 posted on 02/07/2013 4:50:05 AM PST by BobL
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To: RightOnline

Holy Cow! In my day, a 74 on a report card would have resulted in a hit on the back of the head by my mother and hours of awful tutoring from my father.

How times change. I suppose in my day a 74 didn’t follow you through life like it does today!


49 posted on 02/07/2013 4:53:07 AM PST by miss marmelstein ( Richard Lives Yet!)
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To: MacMattico

My customary resolution process was to discuss the matter with the teacher first.

Second was to have a meeting with the principal, at which time I mentioned that if I did not get satisfaction I would next meet with the school district superintendent and if that failed, I would be at the next school board meeting.

It always got resolved. Funny thing.... My son had a major conflict with a teacher in high school. He wrote a multiple page letter about the teacher and distributed it among the students. When the teacher came down on him, my son ran for student representative on the school board and won the election. The teacher did a 180 and tried to kiss my son’s arse after that!

Remember, crap flows down the chain of authority, not up! If you are blocked, just go to a higher level.

Where possible, I always supported my children to resolve their own problems with their teachers. They would discuss the problem with me and we would develop a plan of action. It was more important for them to learn to stand up for themselves than it was for me to get the problem resolved. This empowered them to never be victims.

PS. Always gather as many facts as possible about the teacher. Usually the skeletons in their closet will back them off. It’s amazing what you can find out with a little research on the internet.


50 posted on 02/07/2013 4:53:24 AM PST by tired&retired
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