Posted on 02/07/2013 2:51:33 AM PST by MacMattico
I guess just looking for a little advice-- and reassurance that I'm doing the right thing.
My daughter has an overall HS average in the 90's. A 74 showed up on her report card, in a subject I am quite familiar with. I was not happy with this grade, as I have actually taught this subject before and was available daily for extra help.
I thought the responsible thing for me to do was to have my daughter approach the teacher, ask for help, go over her grades with her. I couldn't wait for this so I e-mailed the teacher asking for a list of all her grades for the quarter. Just about all of the other teachers provide this anyway. I got an e-mail back saying she had a few 80's, and some 70's that brought her grade down, and I could call if I wanted more information. I said no, I prefer to keep this conversation via e-mail, as I like written records of teacher conversations. BAMM!! This supposed experienced teacher wrote back saying my daughter was an inattentive, uncooperative girl that didn't hand in the final project and missed a test she never made up. She said my daughter acted uncontrollably, constantly laughing hysterically in class even when asked to read a passage or answer a question. There was more and it made my daughter sound like a stark raving lunatic. She said several times my daughter should have been written up, given detention, but she was (the teacher) nice enough not to do this. I was shocked and don't believe her. My daughter has six other teachers during the day. Each gave her rave reviews on her report card: quotes: "outstanding effort" ,"she is a pleasure to have in class", "she is bright, capable and good natured", "she is polite and respectful, a little SHY!" and "shows outstanding interest in subject matter". Needless to say I don't think this teacher saw her report card before giving me her line of BS. I e-mailed back if she deserved to be written up or given detention, it should have been given. And this teacher's policy is to give detention if an assignment is missed. Supposedly my daughter missed a quarter ending important project and didn't take a test! So after this back and forth, my daughter comes home from school. I asked fir her folder for this class-- she hands it to me-- I found the completed project, five pages, 100% correct! I ask again about her missed test. She tells me again she never missed a test. I said were you absent and forgot to make it up-- she's been absent one day, my mother's funeral! My daughter said no test was announced beforehand and she was not told of any test when she asked what she missed after missing one day for a funeral. I believe this teacher, who knew my daughter was at a funeral, used that day against her to claim now (never mentioned when I first asked for grades) that she didn't take an exam! She made my daughter sound crazy because I told her I was forwarding all of the e-mails to the Principal, which I still did because I knew with all of her other grades and comments, no normal person could side with the teacher. So he (Principal) asked if he could meet with my daughter. I said no problem. This school has a policy stating under no circumstances will a teacher be changed. Needless to say, after meeting with my daughter, he offered to change her teacher if nothing improves! But mid year this would change her whole schedule as it is such a small school and this class is only offered a few times. So my daughter went off to class and was probably more diplomatic then I in saying to the teacher, "well here's my project you probably just missed putting the grade in your book." and the teacher says -- no, she won't accept it! She freaking marked the thing already! I am furious! She said because she keeps all tests and quizzes (this is why my daughter had no idea what her test and quiz grades were --another reason I was furious-- how can you learn if you don't get your test back?) She said that she gave all of the students extra time to complete the project, and must have inadvertently handed my daughters back marked and complete. But she hadn't put the grades in her book yet so my daughter needed to "rehand" it in!! Now, if you got a project back with a 100% on it, do you think you would have to give it back? Only those that had not completed them handed them back in, she thought she kept all others. That's her mistake! And because she keeps all tests and quizzes I'm to the point where I think she may throw one of my daughters away to say she didn't do it. She says she keeps them so they can study for the final and she knows they're not lost-- but they don't even see them! She also mentioned other kids in her e-mail, and if I notify these parents, all hell will break loose!
Unless you format I’ll never know what you said
Actually, It’s today Principal is calling! Sorry the post is so long, but we chose this small district for our kids as the best one around! We’re stuck here until graduation! I shouldn’t say stuck, it’s mostly a nice place, but this is ridiculous and I guarantee nothing will happen to this teacher !
They're both part of a coup taking p;ace in my being ... as I type.
Most teachers are nice, but there are those few. I’ve had some bad experiences myself when my son was in high school. My son used to take gun books to school and read them in his spare time, this was back in the 1990s. Well, that was a no-no even then! I had a teacher call me at work upset about it. They do pass around their impressions of students to other teachers and the kids get reputations they don’t always deserve.
I’m sure the principal will sort this out. Hang in there!
What didn’t I do?
I made it through, with my magic no-line bifocals. (These also allow me to see dishes, laundry, cat-spews, and other things invisible to the rest of my family.)
No advice to offer other than (1) deep breaths, (2) expect attacks and try to remain calm, (3) take notes and immediately email them for review.
I got an e-mail back saying she had a few 80's, and some 70's that brought her grade down, and I could call if I wanted more information. I said no, I prefer to keep this conversation via e-mail, as I like written records of teacher conversations. BAMM!!
This supposed experienced teacher wrote back saying my daughter was an inattentive, uncooperative girl that didn't hand in the final project and missed a test she never made up. She said my daughter acted uncontrollably, constantly laughing hysterically in class even when asked to read a passage or answer a question.
There was more and it made my daughter sound like a stark raving lunatic. She said several times my daughter should have been written up, given detention, but she was (the teacher) nice enough not to do this. I was shocked and don't believe her.
My daughter has six other teachers during the day. Each gave her rave reviews on her report card: quotes: "outstanding effort" ,"she is a pleasure to have in class", "she is bright, capable and good natured", "she is polite and respectful, a little SHY!" and "shows outstanding interest in subject matter".
Needless to say I don't think this teacher saw her report card before giving me her line of BS. I e-mailed back if she deserved to be written up or given detention, it should have been given. And this teacher's policy is to give detention if an assignment is missed. Supposedly my daughter missed a quarter ending important project and didn't take a test!
So after this back and forth, my daughter comes home from school. I asked fir her folder for this class-- she hands it to me-- I found the completed project, five pages, 100% correct! I ask again about her missed test. She tells me again she never missed a test. I said were you absent and forgot to make it up-- she's been absent one day, my mother's funeral! My daughter said no test was announced beforehand and she was not told of any test when she asked what she missed after missing one day for a funeral.
I believe this teacher, who knew my daughter was at a funeral, used that day against her to claim now (never mentioned when I first asked for grades) that she didn't take an exam! She made my daughter sound crazy because I told her I was forwarding all of the e-mails to the Principal, which I still did because I knew with all of her other grades and comments, no normal person could side with the teacher.
So he (Principal) asked if he could meet with my daughter. I said no problem. This school has a policy stating under no circumstances will a teacher be changed. Needless to say, after meeting with my daughter, he offered to change her teacher if nothing improves! But mid year this would change her whole schedule as it is such a small school and this class is only offered a few times.
So my daughter went off to class and was probably more diplomatic then I in saying to the teacher, "well here's my project you probably just missed putting the grade in your book." and the teacher says -- no, she won't accept it! She freaking marked the thing already! I am furious! She said because she keeps all tests and quizzes (this is why my daughter had no idea what her test and quiz grades were --another reason I was furious-- how can you learn if you don't get your test back?) She said that she gave all of the students extra time to complete the project, and must have inadvertently handed my daughters back marked and complete. But she hadn't put the grades in her book yet so my daughter needed to "rehand" it in!! Now, if you got a project back with a 100% on it, do you think you would have to give it back? Only those that had not completed them handed them back in, she thought she kept all others. That's her mistake! And because she keeps all tests and quizzes I'm to the point where I think she may throw one of my daughters away to say she didn't do it. She says she keeps them so they can study for the final and she knows they're not lost-- but they don't even see them! She also mentioned other kids in her e-mail, and if I notify these parents, all hell will break loose!
use the < pre > tag to use copy paste paragraphs.
Thanks. It’s all done nicely in post #8 by a very nice person!
At first it looked like the teacher had your daughter confused with someone else in the class. Now it looks like this particular teacher doesn’t do well with your daughter and is willing to cover her tracks to cover herself. May need to re-think going to another teacher even if it causes turbulence in your daughter’s schedule. Perhaps both sit down with principal to see magnitude of turbulence and if it is tolerable.
I went through a similar situation at a Catholic High School near Harrisburg PA. The teacher promised to help my daughter, then suggested that my daughter just wasn't bright enough to deal with the subject. He then set her up for failure in the next test.
I never pursued the situation because the Principal was not an advocate for me, she was staunchly supportive of the teacher.
I know you don't want to hear this, but "such is life".
My daughter went on to graduate magna cum laude from college and the unreasonable teacher died (he was very old).
In the words of Kenny Rogers, you gotta know when to walk away.
If you send your children to a government school, they are taught by government employees. They get a government education. You asked and you have received.
Sounds as if this particular teacher is being defensive and political, triggered by your insistence upon e-mail for a record of the discussion.
Chances are, this has happened before, for there to have been such a reaction. Don’t give the teacher any further opportunity to try to recreate a back story to protect herself at your daughter’s expense.
Use the principal as an intermediary, provide a copy of this marked test, not the original, to the principal. Make certain to all concerned that you will brook no retaliation or mistreatment, including grades.
The principal so quickly offering to move your daughter to a different teacher indicates that she or he is familiar with certain problems that this teacher may have as well.
Your daughter’s reputation clearly isn’t the only one at issue, here. Use this to her advantage, starting with the date of the test she supposedly missed. Do not tell this teacher when her one absence occurred. Let her trap herself with a lie right in front of the principal.
You are going to win this, because you have documentation. The one thing I’ve learned in covering local government for my newsblog is that if it ain’t in writing, it didn’t happen.
You’ve got it all in writing.
In addition to corresponding with the principal, you may want to clue in your school board member and the superintendent. That way EVERYONE in the chain of command is in the loop and can’t claim ignorance.
Also, it will show the them you know what you are doing and are prepared to take all necessary steps to fix things.
How about recording phone conversations? Then transcribe them onto email and sending a copy to yourself.
Former teacher here.
I used to keep all tests also. But, only AFTER it was sent home to be signed by the parents.
I kept them as documentation in case a problem ever arose. Not sure what this teacher’s angle is.
And mentioning other kids in your email? In some states i think that’s actually illegal, depending on what was said.
Your daughter also needs a system of her own to keep track of her own grades .
First....I completely understand your anger and frustration. Believe me....I know.
Second....you’re right to fight it. Some pointers:
You said this teacher mentioned other students in her email(s) to you and that you know those kids’ parents.....forward the emails to them. Shine a spotlight on this wench; share the load with other parents whose children are being maligned by this lunatic. Send them TODAY and suggest that you all may want to get together with the school principal, as a group, and then possibly the school Superintendent. There is strength in numbers.
Next....your insistence on written communication-only is misguided; just wrong. You DEFINITELY want a face-to-face meeting with this teacher, the principal, and your husband (if necessary, even before you gather in the other parents for such a meeting). It’s easy for someone to lie and dance behind a keyboard; far more difficult in person. Such people tend to be cowards. MAKE her repeat herself in person, in the presence of the principal.
If you’re concerned about capturing what is said, record it. Let everyone in the room know that you are recording the meeting. It’s easy, and it will provide the proof/evidence you seek.
Don’t fight this alone, don’t fight it by email-only, and do NOT let it drop.
Lastly.....don’t let the principal throw some mollifying words at you, replete with hollow assurances, and expect the problem to disappear. It won’t. He will try....they always do....just to make the problem “go away”. Don’t allow that. Demand specific things, with written evidence/proof that these “things” are in fact accomplished.
It’s your right and your duty as a parent no matter what some educrat moron may say.
God bless and good luck.
I can tell you’re upset. Don’t be.
It is very obvious that you must get her out of that school. If it is necessary to resort to written communications, that says volumes about your trust of the school’s authorites. Follow your insincts, withdraw and home school.
Home school. Get out and home school. You and your daughter shouldn’t be enduring this crazy, bureaucratic nightmare.
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