Posted on 02/07/2013 2:51:33 AM PST by MacMattico
I guess just looking for a little advice-- and reassurance that I'm doing the right thing.
My daughter has an overall HS average in the 90's. A 74 showed up on her report card, in a subject I am quite familiar with. I was not happy with this grade, as I have actually taught this subject before and was available daily for extra help.
I thought the responsible thing for me to do was to have my daughter approach the teacher, ask for help, go over her grades with her. I couldn't wait for this so I e-mailed the teacher asking for a list of all her grades for the quarter. Just about all of the other teachers provide this anyway. I got an e-mail back saying she had a few 80's, and some 70's that brought her grade down, and I could call if I wanted more information. I said no, I prefer to keep this conversation via e-mail, as I like written records of teacher conversations. BAMM!! This supposed experienced teacher wrote back saying my daughter was an inattentive, uncooperative girl that didn't hand in the final project and missed a test she never made up. She said my daughter acted uncontrollably, constantly laughing hysterically in class even when asked to read a passage or answer a question. There was more and it made my daughter sound like a stark raving lunatic. She said several times my daughter should have been written up, given detention, but she was (the teacher) nice enough not to do this. I was shocked and don't believe her. My daughter has six other teachers during the day. Each gave her rave reviews on her report card: quotes: "outstanding effort" ,"she is a pleasure to have in class", "she is bright, capable and good natured", "she is polite and respectful, a little SHY!" and "shows outstanding interest in subject matter". Needless to say I don't think this teacher saw her report card before giving me her line of BS. I e-mailed back if she deserved to be written up or given detention, it should have been given. And this teacher's policy is to give detention if an assignment is missed. Supposedly my daughter missed a quarter ending important project and didn't take a test! So after this back and forth, my daughter comes home from school. I asked fir her folder for this class-- she hands it to me-- I found the completed project, five pages, 100% correct! I ask again about her missed test. She tells me again she never missed a test. I said were you absent and forgot to make it up-- she's been absent one day, my mother's funeral! My daughter said no test was announced beforehand and she was not told of any test when she asked what she missed after missing one day for a funeral. I believe this teacher, who knew my daughter was at a funeral, used that day against her to claim now (never mentioned when I first asked for grades) that she didn't take an exam! She made my daughter sound crazy because I told her I was forwarding all of the e-mails to the Principal, which I still did because I knew with all of her other grades and comments, no normal person could side with the teacher. So he (Principal) asked if he could meet with my daughter. I said no problem. This school has a policy stating under no circumstances will a teacher be changed. Needless to say, after meeting with my daughter, he offered to change her teacher if nothing improves! But mid year this would change her whole schedule as it is such a small school and this class is only offered a few times. So my daughter went off to class and was probably more diplomatic then I in saying to the teacher, "well here's my project you probably just missed putting the grade in your book." and the teacher says -- no, she won't accept it! She freaking marked the thing already! I am furious! She said because she keeps all tests and quizzes (this is why my daughter had no idea what her test and quiz grades were --another reason I was furious-- how can you learn if you don't get your test back?) She said that she gave all of the students extra time to complete the project, and must have inadvertently handed my daughters back marked and complete. But she hadn't put the grades in her book yet so my daughter needed to "rehand" it in!! Now, if you got a project back with a 100% on it, do you think you would have to give it back? Only those that had not completed them handed them back in, she thought she kept all others. That's her mistake! And because she keeps all tests and quizzes I'm to the point where I think she may throw one of my daughters away to say she didn't do it. She says she keeps them so they can study for the final and she knows they're not lost-- but they don't even see them! She also mentioned other kids in her e-mail, and if I notify these parents, all hell will break loose!
You have been a wise mother in rearing your treasure. I pray for you today that you will seek God’s wisdom in prayer for how you ought to proceed. If I were to allow myself a wild guess, I’d say the teacher is jealous of the achievements of your daughter, perhaps she has a child of her own she only wishes were doing as well. The most important thing is that you not allow this incident to wound your child’s spirit. It might be better to take the Principal’s offer to change classes, because the academic challenge that presents is probably better than dealing with a raging adult with a negative agenda; win or lose, this ain’t over for her. For yourself, ask God to help you to forgive; by His grace He may even show you great and mighty things.
>> Unless you format I’ll never know what you said
Interesting how the mind is affected by the stride and spacing of text.
Keep in mind emails can be faked much more easily than paper mail. You might want to resort to snail mail with signature confirmation. Make them understand that you’re serious. It costs, but your daughter is worth it.
Also, check out this site:
http://www.ratemyteachers.com/
You might pick up some interesting information on what other kids think of this teacher.
Yikes!
I’d be mad too.
Keep us posted on how this turns out.
Set up an appointment with the teacher and principle. Face to face. Bring your documentation and present the evidence to them. Be civil and calm.
If the evidence is as you presented it here there is no chance that you cannot win this argument. If the principle says no tell them you are going to the superintendent.
Under no circumstances become loud and offensive.
I would also talk to other parents as you might not be the only one with the same problem. At my wifes school one of the coaches was also half ass teaching biology and left in the middle of the year leaving half he grades not recorded. It screwed over several kids who were looking for scholarships.
Physically go to the school and explain that the situation is unacceptable and put the burden on then. DEMAND dont ask. You have your daughters other grades to help back you up. If you are stonewalled, go to the DISTRICT. Find a superintendent and show them your child’s grades and once again politely DEMAND. And use the word UNACCEPTABLE and stand your ground. These petty bureaucrats work for YOU.
If there are 2 parents to make sure both are present. Be polite but FIRM.
If you’re concerned about capturing what is said, record it. Let everyone in the room know that you are recording the meeting. It’s easy, and it will provide the proof/evidence you seek.
***Bureaucrats clam up when they’re being recorded. They will even refuse to say they are present. The trick is to bring 2 recording devices. Ostensibly turn off the one in the middle of the room, while the second one continues to record. As long as you’ve stated your intention to record the proceedings, anything said after that is no longer subject to an expectation of privacy.
Why are you still subjecting your daughter to the abuse that is public education? If there is any future for this country lies in a massive move of children OUT of public education into homeschooling or private/parochial education. Even the private/parochial schools should be vetted for courses and content.
Recorded conversations are legal and admissible in many states if one party is aware, meaning that surreptitious recording may be done by an individual who is part of a given conversation.
There’s a bunch of teachers on that website from the high school I went to. Actually left a rating for the very first gym teacher I had when I was there, who was basically terrible. Bunch of teachers I had, as well as whose names I remember but didn’t have. Gonna add one I did have, who was the best teacher I’ve ever had.
Be calm and realize that even a little attention, given relentlessly, will overcome bureaucrats/get them to correct their actions. Remember that there is always somebody next up the line to contact if the highest you have reached so far doesn't respond.
Lastly, ignore the "punctuation/HTML nazis" - I didn't have any trouble reading your post.
I can only say what I would do. I would use the word “bully” when describing this teacher’s behaviour towards my child when the principal calls. I would ask about the school’s anti-bullying policies and focus the conversation towards remedies using that. I’m sure it will not have any teacher “bully” language but I would pursue this course.
I feel for you!! I have a daughter who is a high school freshman and she has a 96 overall average so far. Her teachers love her and send home great reviews in her report card. So I understand!! If one of my daughter’s teachers randomly turned on her did this I would feel livid, helpless, and worried for her class rank, so I am empathizing that your state of mind is similar. I would be FURIOUS too!!
Unfortunately, this is life, and these things actually happen. It’s the worst part of being a parent, when something grossly unfair happens to our child and we are powerless to change it.
The best advice that I can think of is to get her switched out of the class. If a bad chmenistry has occurred, and it sounds at if it’s the teacher’s fault, there is little to be done, and you don’t want to have to go through the rest of the year like that. Unless, your daughter would then be in classes all day with no one in her circle of friends, which is very hard on a high school age girl. In that case, keep track of everything...
Good luck!! In the big picture this is good training for college, because this type of scenario is almost certain to occur somewhere along the way.
Bring the pain. Don’t let that teach stick to your daughter and other students.
What, no recycling?
sorry - meant a bad chemistry (between the teacher and the daughter)
This teacher is either crazy or senile and covering her tracks, or both.
The other thing to consider is that a student has hacked into the teacher’s email and is doing this. Probably not too likely, but keep it in the back of your mind.
I would also do a face-to-face with the principal, and record the conversation.
If this is the teacher truly communicating this stuff though, this person is mentally unstable. Go ahead and disrupt your daughter’s schedule, whatever it takes to get her away from this situation.
Extremely important. Write letters for every conflict. Take the time to do it. Write a letter to the teacher. Write a letter to the principal. Keep it all in a folder. When they see you doing that, you will get a MUCH better response.
A MANY-year teacher here.
Yes.
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