Posted on 02/07/2013 2:51:33 AM PST by MacMattico
You might win the battle but loose the war on this one. You might get the teacher forced to add the test grade into the grade book, but your daughter will never receive fair treatment from her.
Move her out of that class.
Ok, here’s the opinion of a 42 year educator - 21 spent as a secondary school administrator on all levels. There is almost nothing that you can do about the grade unless the teacher agrees to change it. That’s the bad news. If you have your daughter’s school handbook, read it very closely, especially grading policies. Even if your daughter “missed” a test because of the funeral I’ll bet there’s a policy requiring the teacher to provide an opportunity to take the test, especially under the circumstances of a funeral which is an excused absence. State laws and school district policies - 99.9% of the time - do not allow an academic penalty for an excused absence. So, check the attendance policy part of the handbook. If you insist on the “in writing” form from the principal he will lawyer up and all you will receive is a form letter. Instead, start keeping a dated and timed journal summarizing all your conversations. It will be helpful. I know you are angry, but keep a smile on your face, especially with the principal or anyone else with whom you deal up the chain of command. The teacher is unprofessional, petty, vindictive and a bitch. The principal already knows that about her. It’s like having a crazy aunt in the family. He’s probably stuck with her and would love to get rid of her but can’t. Make him your ally, not your enemy. Above all, don’t mention the word “lawyer”: first, if you do the principal will clam up because to do otherwise is just stupid; second, they have deeper pockets and more money than you do; third, time is your enemy and your daughter will be 30 years old before the legal system finally regurgitates a verdict. You can win this: become an expert on policy from the handbook; the principal wants you to win it - trust me because I’ve been in his shoes.
In life your daughter will likely face bosses, co-workers, and subordinates like this teacher. How she deals with it will show what kind of character you have taught her to have.
When I was in sixth grade, way back in the dark ages, I had a teacher who singled me out for special treatment. She always singled someone out in every class. I never brought my problems home because, in my day, if you got in trouble in school, you got in bigger trouble at home. Other students told their parents of her unfair treatment of me. Those parents called my parents, who called the principal, and I was rescued from the teacher by being transferred into another class. This was about a quarter of the way into the school year.
The teacher showed her class (no pun intended) when she saw me being led into the other classroom, by saying to me, “I hope you’re happy now.” I didn’t reply. What would an 11 year-old of my generation say to a teacher? Nothing. I probably scored points with the principal and my new teacher (who was one of the best teachers I ever had) by keeping my mouth shut. There was nothing the principal could do about the teacher. She was an eccentric member of one of those local families who always get what they want.
In retrospect, I’m not sure that rescuing me was the best thing my parents could have done. Life is full of bullies. We can’t always escape them. We often need to learn to deal with them effectively, either by ignoring them, standing up to them, or, if necessary, tolerating them until a better option is found.
About fifteen years ago, one of the other members of that class told me that he had a grudge against me. After I was pulled from the class, the teacher singled him out for the special treatment that I had been getting.
been there, done that..
the principal will side with the teacher, for the most part..
the best you can do is to get the project accepted and have the grade adjusted accordingly. If the teacher has decided to throw the test away you must prove this. You will not be able to. state that your daughter did not miss a test, to her knowledge, state the day she missed and why, and leave it at that..
you have proof of completion of the project, with grade. You do not have proof of the test.
these “people” stick together, so you will be beating your head against a wall.
Now, I have looked a teacher square in the face and said, “ you’re an a$$hole” and told my son to just not attend this class, which he failed ( the teacher told me to my face that he would not pass my son, ever, even if he got straight A’s )
Keep in mind the school is part of the system and the system will not admit error...willingly. Be ready for a battle if the principal backs the teacher.
We "won" as much as possible at the end of our situation.
My vote goes with those advocating getting everything in writing. Email beats face-to-face. Tape recording still carries a stigma.
As others have said, if the facts are as you say, you are right and the teacher is busted. There is no reason to accept anything less than an apology. Not just a promise as to the future.
I agree with #13: “because the Principal was not an advocate for me, she was staunchly supportive of the teacher.” This is likely to be the case here, too.
“I have read your reply, and I don’t agree with your assessment of the situation. I reserve my right to bring this up with the Superintendent, the school board, other parents, and the press, if necessary.” Something like that is how I would end my first unsatisfactory exchange with the principal.
The visit will end the second you pull out the recorder. If you hide the recorder you are breaking the law - in some states it would be a felony.
“...but this is ridiculous and I guarantee nothing will happen to this teacher !”
What AMAZES me is that some 80% of public school parents get jerked around just like you, yet each of them feels that they alone have to take on the system, because the schools are so effective in ISOLATING every one of them - to make them think there is no widespread problem.
“You realize other parents are fine here, and you’re the only one complaining.”
...is a typical tactic - when their calendar is really full of complaining parents.
Holy Cow! In my day, a 74 on a report card would have resulted in a hit on the back of the head by my mother and hours of awful tutoring from my father.
How times change. I suppose in my day a 74 didn’t follow you through life like it does today!
My customary resolution process was to discuss the matter with the teacher first.
Second was to have a meeting with the principal, at which time I mentioned that if I did not get satisfaction I would next meet with the school district superintendent and if that failed, I would be at the next school board meeting.
It always got resolved. Funny thing.... My son had a major conflict with a teacher in high school. He wrote a multiple page letter about the teacher and distributed it among the students. When the teacher came down on him, my son ran for student representative on the school board and won the election. The teacher did a 180 and tried to kiss my son’s arse after that!
Remember, crap flows down the chain of authority, not up! If you are blocked, just go to a higher level.
Where possible, I always supported my children to resolve their own problems with their teachers. They would discuss the problem with me and we would develop a plan of action. It was more important for them to learn to stand up for themselves than it was for me to get the problem resolved. This empowered them to never be victims.
PS. Always gather as many facts as possible about the teacher. Usually the skeletons in their closet will back them off. It’s amazing what you can find out with a little research on the internet.
SatinDoll has hit this nail on the head. Part of what you need to do is assist your daughter in preparing her from scumbags that will show up all along in life, some things you need to just take on the chin, and walk away from a fight. Home School. This is the better option. Really.
You are exactly right. If you can find out others who are upset, take the group to the school board meetings over and over and you will get action. Yes, you can record in Texas as long as there is no "...reasonable expectation of privacy." So, don't record in an office. Make sure you're standing out where the public can be passing by.
“Get your school board involved” before the principal makes that...’their’ option.
Your daughter’s reputation is safe. It sounds like she’s a good kid and high school teachers don’t care what’s happening anywhere else than their own classrooms. Plus, they have real knuckleheads to talk about who are far more entertaining. Here’s my guess: the teacher lost the test. That’s a big deal because most HS tests today are the same in every class within the same department. So, for example, the test on Chapter 2 in Algebra 2 is given by all the Algebra 2 teachers on the same day. A missing copy of the test means the entire math department would need to design another test and that isn’t a happy event. The other teachers, the department head and the administration would be notified and involved. There would be an investigation. I’ve known schools to file theft charges on students who stole a test depending on the importance of the test - a semester exam for instance. So, the teacher loses the test and she has two options: she can accuse your daughter of stealing it (insane strategy); she can claim your daughter never took the test thereby hiding the fact entirely and banking on your nice, polite daughter being nice and polite. She went with option 2. She probably has every department test in a secure folder - one copy per student. Ask to see the folder and the blank copy of the tests that should have been your daughter’s. Better yet, walk through that scenario with the principal - smiling and speaking softly - and ask him to investigate. You’ll probably win. You can also ask to see the department instruction and testing calendar. My guess is the test wasn’t scheduled to be given on the day your daughter was out for the funeral. One last bit of advice:before you go in guns ablazing sit your daughter down and let her know that you are going to bat for her but be very clear with her that should you find out that she has been less than candid with you about any of this you will skin her alive. Look, kids are kids and sometimes they make poor decisions. I’ve sat through many of these confrontations only to discover that “my child would never do anything like that” did not apply.
I see a lot of good advice here. Many correctly urge you to be calm. That may be very difficult to do. You may need a “mouthpiece” to properly present you case.
If the first meeting with the Principal leaves you unsatisfied, I suggest you get a lawyer.
A (good) lawyer can argue your case in a calm but forceful manner. Hiring a lawyer shows the bureaucrats you are not just some screaming mommy, rather you mean to get this corrected, pronto! A lawyer will know your rights, & may have methods of influence that you have not considered. A smart, unbiased person on your side will be a great asset in this fight.
I hope this goes well for you, but I fear that the “system” will rear its ugly head, & the Principal will attempt to cow you with bureaucratic BS - teachers are never wrong, grades cannot be changed, & the like. Or, perhaps they will try to gang up on you, with 4-5 of them against just you in the meeting. All that authority can be intimidating. If you see this is happening, end the meeting immediately & get a lawyer - you need help.
One other thing. DO NOT surrender any documents to the school without keeping copies. Better yet, give them copies & you keep the originals. Anything you surrender will be difficult/impossible to retrieve.
If your child truly did the work, it could do real damage to her if this wrong is not corrected. I had something similar happen to me in high school, & it profoundly affected my grades & my perception of school, which went from love to hate, from respect to disrespect. My mother went the cow route, to my deep disappointment.
This is a crucial time for your daughter. She is expecting justice from you & the school. If you fail, much more will be lost than a few grade points.
At one time during my working career, I had to use a simple tactic of recording all phone conversations in order to keep a number of individuals I worked with honest. Some of these individuals were superior in rank and some were lower than I. All of these individuals worked in different locations around the country.
I made it very clear from the beginning of each phone meeting that I was recording the conversations in order to “keep good notes”. Believe me when I say, this tactic can be very useful.
Keep the faith, it will turn our fine in the end.
Good luck. I hope yuor daughter’s grades get changed. When our daughter was in HS, her science teacher was doing something similar, but to a number of students.
Several parents got involved and we had a meeting with her and the principal. The teacher left the meeting in tears. She was a no show for class the next day and turned in her resignation.
I’m sorry, I’m not buying this story...too many holes.
#1. Your child is an angel and out of all of the students this teacher has she just happens to target your child. If this teacher is so depraved, your child is not the only one. Since this is such a great academic school the principle’s office should be full of parents calling for this teacher’s head.
#2. The teacher offers a face to face conference which seems fairly professional and you turn it down? NOBODY DOES THIS! Are you kidding me? If a teacher wants a conference with me about my child I would drop what I’m doing and tell them name the place and time. Instead you say you want correspondence on record which suggest you don’t want resolution, you want blood.
#3. The principle offers to move your child out of the class (problem solved) and you decline? NOBODY DOES THIS, for any reason! I would have my child’s class changed or schooled in my home so quick your head would spin.
Are you sure you want this problem solved or do you have an ax to grind with this teacher other than the treatment of your daughter? I’ve got to say this story is bizarre at best and unbelievable at worst.
Dispense with the emails and phone calls. A face to face meeting with you, your husband, the teacher and the principal is what is needed here.
Unpleasant yes, but your daughter deserves no less, and it is really the only way to nail that teacher.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.