Posted on 03/08/2013 5:11:17 AM PST by Lucky9teen
Standard Hospital pricing procedure
In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where a family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber.
'I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news,' he said as he surveyed the worried faces. 'The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant.� It's an experimental procedure, very risky, but it is the only hope. Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the BRAIN.'
The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a time, someone asked, 'How much will a brain cost?' The doctor quickly responded, '$5,000 for a Democrat's brain; $200 for a Republican's brain.'
The moment turned awkward. Some of the Democrats actually had to 'try' to not smile, avoiding eye contact with the Republicans. A man unable to control his curiosity, finally blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, 'Why is the Democrat's brain so much more than a Republican's brain?'
The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group, 'It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to price the Republicans' brains a lot lower because they're used."
Australian school’s answering machine message. Very good example for NY schools.
http://www.youtube.com/embed/Pwghabw4N80?rel=0
LOL...like!
Excellent!
Winter Boots
(Anyone who has ever dressed a child will love this)
Did you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her
pupils put on his boots?
He asked for help and she could see why.
Even with her pulling, and him pushing,
the little boots still didn’t want to go on.
By the time they got the second boot on, she had worked up a sweat.
She almost cried when the little boy said,
‘Teacher, they’re on the wrong feet.’
She looked, and sure enough, they were.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t any easier pulling the boots off,
than it was putting them on.
She managed to keep her cool as, together, they worked to get the boots back on,
this time on the correct feet.
He then announced, ‘These aren’t my boots.’
She bit her tongue, rather than get right in his face and
scream, ‘Why didn’t you say so?’
like she wanted to.
Once again, she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting
boots off his little feet.
No sooner had they got the boots off when he said,
‘They’re my brother’s boots. But my Mom made me wear ‘em today.’
Now she didn’t know if she should laugh or cry.
But she mustered up what grace and courage she had left to
wrestle the boots BACK onto his feet again.
Helping him into his coat, she asked,
‘Now, where are your mittens?’
He said, ‘I stuffed ‘em in the toes of my boots.’
She’ll be eligible for parole in three years.
I pointed to two old drunks across the bar from us and told my friend Dale,
“That’ll be us in ten years.”
He turned to me and said, “That’s a mirror, you dumb $_it.”
I see a red X....I got nuthin’!
Nuts...
Click on the red X. Copy and paste the properties into your browser and hit enter.
Here it is from earlier.
[smiles] Me too!
*oops*
LOL! I saw it! You were pretty fast posting it, too.
I got it! Thank you—I didn’t know about that trick.
Love the cat, LOL
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