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"Book of Mormon" already breaks record in London
CBS News ^ | March 22, 2013

Posted on 03/24/2013 1:21:35 PM PDT by Colofornian

Edited on 03/24/2013 3:21:35 PM PDT by Admin Moderator. [history]

NEW YORK The seemingly unstoppable hit "The Book of Mormon" has broken another record this time on the other side of the Atlantic.

The quirky, profane musical opened Thursday night to some critical bashing, but the next day earned the highest one-day gross in London theater history.


(Excerpt) Read more at cbsnews.com ...


TOPICS: Music/Entertainment
KEYWORDS: bookofmormon; inman; london; mormonrules; moviereview; sales; thearts; theater
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From the article: The seemingly unstoppable hit "The Book of Mormon" has broken another record — this time on the other side of the Atlantic. The quirky, profane musical opened Thursday night to some critical bashing, but the next day earned the highest one-day gross in London theater history. Between 10 a.m. and midnight Friday, 2.1 million pounds ($3.2 million) was taken in at the box office, according to preliminary estimates...To put the staggering one-day take in perspective, the highest single-week gross in the West End — from another Yankee show, "Wicked" — was just over 1 million pounds over nine productions during the final week of 2010. "The Book of Mormon" by "South Park" creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone and "Avenue Q" composer Robert Lopez tells the story of two Mormon missionaries sent to spread the word in Uganda.

This musical takes aim not only @ Mormons & Mormonism, but a generic "God"...and it certainly hasn't helped that Mormonism's gods -- men who get "god jobs" -- make it easier for liberals to lampoon "God" in general.

(That's what happens when counterfeiters wind up representing "God")

1 posted on 03/24/2013 1:21:35 PM PDT by Colofornian
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To: Colofornian
Still waiting for that smash musical The Book of Mohammed to be written by some bracv religion-bashing liberal. Waiting.... waiting... waiting...
2 posted on 03/24/2013 1:30:20 PM PDT by Rummyfan (Iraq: it's not about Iraq He could sure play that axe. RIP anymore, it's about the USA!)
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To: Colofornian

I’d love to see somebody get the courage to do a musical called The Qur’an.

For some reason I don’t think that that will happen. . . ever.


3 posted on 03/24/2013 1:30:21 PM PDT by vladimir998
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To: Rummyfan
Sorry... brave!
4 posted on 03/24/2013 1:30:51 PM PDT by Rummyfan (Iraq: it's not about Iraq He could sure play that axe. RIP anymore, it's about the USA!)
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To: Colofornian

It played at the Paramount in downtown Seattle in early January to sell out crowd.


5 posted on 03/24/2013 1:33:03 PM PDT by Jack Hydrazine (I’m not a Republican, I’m a conservative!)
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To: Rummyfan
SOUTH PARK CREATORS PLAN ISLAM MUSICAL
6 posted on 03/24/2013 1:34:05 PM PDT by mnehring
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To: vladimir998

No Mohammedan Follies. Trans-generationally institutionalized rape, incest, and murder isn’t as quirky as boys in shirts and ties.


7 posted on 03/24/2013 1:41:02 PM PDT by golux
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To: Colofornian
The quirky, profane musical opened Thursday night to some critical bashing, but the next day earned the highest one-day gross in London theater history.

?

pro·fane (pr-fn, pr-)
adj.
1. Marked by contempt or irreverence for what is sacred.

Taint NOTHIN' 'sacred' about MORMONism!

8 posted on 03/24/2013 1:50:57 PM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: golux
Trans-generationally institutionalized rape, incest, and murder isn’t as quirky as boys in shirts and ties.

Who you callin' a QUIRK; Buster???



9 posted on 03/24/2013 1:52:17 PM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: golux

Here we are; bustin our butts 10/6/365 and these GENTILES are callin' us bad names!!!



10 posted on 03/24/2013 1:53:27 PM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: golux
(I wonder if they be a rule about thumpin' they boney heads???)




The Rules

  1. Learn and obey all missionary rules.
  2. Keep your thoughts, words, and actions in harmony with the gospel message.
  3. Read only books, magazines, and other material authorized by the Church.
  4. Don't debate or argue.
  5. Center your mind on your mission.
  6. Dress conservatively. Elders: white shirts, conservative ties, and business suits. Sisters: conservative colors and skirts that cover your knees. No floor-length skirts or dresses.
  7. Cut your hair regularly.
  8. Keep your hair clean and neatly combed at all times in the approved style.
  9. Be neat and clean.
  10. Bathe frequently.
  11. Use deodorant.
  12. Polish your shoes.
  13. Iron your shirt and business suit.
  14. Arise at 6:30 A.M.
  15. Study for 2 hours every morning.
  16. Proselytize for 10 hours between 9:30 A.M. and 9:30 P.M.
  17. Turn off your lights at 10:30 P.M.
  18. Exercise regularly.
  19. Write in your journal regularly.
  20. Follow the "Missionary Gospel Study Program" (31157) for your personal study.
  21. Regularly study the Missionary Guide and the Discussions.
  22. Attend Sunday priesthood or Relief Society meetings, Sunday School, and sacrament meeting.
  23. Attend the general session of Stake Conference.
  24. Attend general conference broadcasts if available.
  25. Avoid all other church meetings unless you have a special assignment or are brining an investigator.
  26. Proselytize as much as possible on weekends and holidays because this is when you'll find people home.
  27. End your preparation day at 6:00 P.M. and proselytize from 6:00 P.M. to 9:30 P.M.
  28. Wear your missionary uniform in public on preparation day while not engaged in recreational activities.
  29. Arise at 6:30 on preparation day and study for 2 hours from the approved books.
  30. Take care of your physical preparation for the week on preparation day: wash your clothes, clean your apartment, wash your car, get your haircut, and shop for groceries.
  31. Write to your parents every week on preparation day.
  32. Write less frequently to your siblings, friends, and acquaintances.
  33. Don't communicate with any friends or acquaintances that are within or close to your mission boundaries, except as a part of official mission business.
  34. Plan safe, wholesome, and uplifting activities for preparation day.
  35. Stay with your companion during all activities.
  36. Do not go on road trips.
  37. Do not leave your assigned area without permission
  38. Do not watch television.
  39. Do not view unauthorized videocassettes.
  40. Do not listen to the radio.
  41. Do not listen to unauthorized audiocassettes or CD’s.
  42. Do not participate in musical groups.
  43. Do not participate in athletic teams.
  44. Do not sponsor athletic teams.
  45. Do not engage in contact sports.
  46. Do not engage in water sports.
  47. Do not engage in winter sports.
  48. Do not engage in motorcycling.
  49. Do not engage in horseback riding.
  50. Do not engage in mountain climbing.
  51. Do not embark on a private boat.
  52. Do not embark in a private airplane.
  53. Do not handle firearms.
  54. Do not handle explosives.
  55. Do not swim.
  56. Do not play full court basketball.
  57. Do not play basketball in leagues.
  58. Do not play basketball in tournaments.
  59. You may play half-court basketball.
  60. Never be alone.
  61. Seek advice from your mission president if your companion is "having difficulties".
  62. Be loyal to your companion.
  63. Ask your mission president for help if your companion doesn’t obey the rules.
  64. Pray with your companion every day.
  65. Study with your companion every day.
  66. Plan your work with your companion every day.
  67. Take time at least once a week for companionship inventory.
  68. Seek to be one in spirit and purpose and help each other succeed.
  69. Always address your companion as Elder or Sister.
  70. Sleep in the same bedroom as your companion.
  71. Do not sleep in the same bed as your companion.
  72. Do not arise before your companion.
  73. Do not retire after your companion. (apparently, being together is more important than getting the correct amount of sleep that your unique body requires.)
  74. Frequently study with your companion the Missionary Guide section on companions.
  75. Never be alone with anyone of the opposite sex.
  76. Never associate inappropriately with anyone of the opposite sex (conversely, they don't mention whether or not it is against the rules to associate inappropriately with anyone of the same sex).
  77. Do not flirt.
  78. Do not date.
  79. Do not communicate via phone or letter with anyone of the opposite sex living within or near mission boundaries.
  80. Do not visit a single or divorced person of the opposite sex unless accompanied by a couple or another adult member of your sex.
  81. Try to teach single investigators in a member’s home or have missionaries of the same sex teach them.
  82. Always follow the above rules, even if the situation seems harmless.
  83. Use the commitment pattern to get referrals from members.
  84. Keep your dinner visits with member briefs and during the customary dinner hour in the area.
  85. Remember to say thank you to those who feed you.
  86. Visit members and nonmembers only at appropriate times.
  87. Do not counsel or give medical treatment.
  88. Do not stay in the homes of people when they are on vacation.
  89. Only write letters to family members and friends at home.
  90. Do not telephone parents
  91. Do not telephone relatives.
  92. Do not telephone friends.
  93. Do not telephone girlfriends.
  94. Contact your mission president in case of an emergency.
  95. Take problems and questions to your mission president.
  96. Do not write to the President of the Church or to other General Authorities. Letters from missionaries to General Authorities are referred back to the mission president
  97. Respect the customs, traditions, and property of the people who you are trying to convert.
  98. Obey all mission rules.
  99. Obey the laws of the land.
  100. Do not get involved in politics.
  101. Do not get involved in commercial activities.
  102. Do not give any information about the area.
  103. Respect the customs and cultures of those who you are trying to convert to your own customs and culture.
  104. Respect the beliefs, practices, and sites of other religions.
  105. Do not say or write anything bad about the political and cultural circumstances where you serve.
  106. Do not become involved in adoption proceedings.
  107. Do not suggest or encourage emigration. (This rule is a bit ironic, given the now-defunct doctrine of gathering the believers to Zion)
  108. Be courteous.
  109. Provide community service.
  110. Do not provide community service that isn’t approved by your mission president.
  111. Do not provide more than 4 hours a week of community service.
  112. Do not provide community service during the evening, weekend or holidays—those are peek proselytizing times.
  113. Your mission president must approve your housing.
  114. Keep your housing unit clean.
  115. Do not live with single or divorced people of the opposite sex.
  116. Do not live where the spouse is frequently absent.
  117. Your living unit must have a private bath and entrance.
  118. You may occasionally fast for a special reason, but generally the monthly fast is sufficient.
  119. Do not fast longer than 24 hours at a time.
  120. Do not ask friends, relatives, and members to join in special fasts for investigators.
  121. Maintain your health.
  122. Eat a healthy diet.
  123. Sleep from 10:30 to 6:30.
  124. Follow the approved exercise program.
  125. Keep your body, clothes, dishes, linens, towels and housing unit clean.
  126. Dispose of your garbage properly and promptly.
  127. Follow the safety rules for all of your stuff.
  128. Seek medical care if you are in an accident or become sick.
  129. Be immunized.
  130. Spend your money only on things relating to your mission.
  131. Budget your money carefully.
  132. Keep a record of what you spend.
  133. Do not spend more than your companion.
  134. Do not loan money.
  135. Do not borrow money.
  136. Keep a reserve fund of $50 to $100 at all times for transfers.
  137. Pay your bills before leaving an area.
  138. Pay cash for all resale literature and supplies ordered from the mission office.
  139. Do not waste money on souvenirs.
  140. Do not waste money on unnecessary items.
  141. Be a frugal photographer.
  142. Do not accumulate excess baggage.
  143. Obey custom laws and regulations.
  144. Pay fast offerings each fast Sunday to the bishop or branch president where you serve.
  145. Pay tithing on outside sources of income (i.e. interest) to your home bishop or branch president.
  146. Evaluate your funds a few months before the end of your mission. If you have more than you need, ask that less be sent so that you can return home without excess money.
  147. Do not drive without a license.
  148. Drive only Church-owned vehicles.
  149. Do not drive members’ cars.
  150. Do not drive nonmembers’ cars.
  151. Do not give rides to members or investigators in Church-owned cars.
  152. Use cars only on approved mission business.
  153. Use cars only within the assigned geographical area.
  154. Be conscious of safety at all times.
  155. Drive defensively.
  156. Wear your seat belt.
  157. Pray for the Lord’s protection while driving.
  158. If your companion is driving, assist him or her.
  159. Do not tamper with the vehicle’s odometer.
  160. Know bicycle safety rules.
  161. Use extreme caution on your bicycle.
  162. Do not ride your bicycle after dark.
  163. Do not ride your bicycle in heavy traffic.
  164. Do not ride your bicycle in adverse weather conditions.
  165. Go directly to your new area when transferred.
  166. Find your new companion without delay when transferred.
  167. Have a maximum of two suitcases and a briefcase.

11 posted on 03/24/2013 1:54:42 PM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: Colofornian

Wow, that’s a lot of dough.


12 posted on 03/24/2013 1:56:35 PM PDT by svcw (Why is one cell on another planet considered life, and in the womb it is not.)
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To: mnehring

Presuming they make it as cuddly as the BofM, it’ll probably be good advertising for the Religion of Peace.


13 posted on 03/24/2013 2:04:55 PM PDT by 9YearLurker
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To: golux
No Mohammedan Follies.

(It's easier to take on a racist god like the Mormon gods...gods who put up "No blacks allowed" signs in Mormon temples...gods who demand multiple wives to be a rising leader in the cult)

14 posted on 03/24/2013 2:05:40 PM PDT by Colofornian
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To: Colofornian


15 posted on 03/24/2013 2:08:51 PM PDT by JoeProBono (A closed mouth gathers no feet - Mater tua caligas exercitus gerit ;-{)
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To: JoeProBono

HAHA !


16 posted on 03/24/2013 2:30:46 PM PDT by traumer
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To: JoeProBono; Elsie

“OK. Dude. One more freakin’ time:
Do not embark on an airplane.
Do not handle firearms.
Do not handle explosives.
And wear your freakin’ jammies underneath. Hello?”


17 posted on 03/24/2013 2:37:32 PM PDT by golux
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To: Colofornian

I can see by your post history you’ve got chapter and verse up the wazoo and are focused like a laser on challenging Mormonism, and as a Jew who went to Catholic and Anglican schools I certainly won’t challenge your own interpretations of your own books... But surely we can agree it’s more pleasant to have neighbors who ‘fundamentally’ believe in science fiction, whether or not they are right, than neighbors who ‘fundamentally’ believe in killing you, whether or not they are right?

And what’s it to you whether Mormons like blacks? Are you black? Do you wish to become Mormon? What do you think most Moslems think of “blacks,” hmm? Who gathered and sold the slaves? Who created the slave trade and had it in place worldwide long before the New World? Mormons?


18 posted on 03/24/2013 2:48:53 PM PDT by golux
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To: golux
...as a Jew...And what’s it to you whether Mormons like blacks? Are you black?

Wow! (I didn't know racism was a "black-only" issue; or that it applied to only blacks. Thanx for "educating" me. /S)

19 posted on 03/24/2013 2:55:50 PM PDT by Colofornian
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To: golux
What do you think most Moslems think of “blacks,” hmm?

(Well I know what they think of Christians: We're the "infidels"...pretty close actually to the Mormon worldview of Christians...to Mormons, we're the "apostates"...Hence they seem to be on the "same page" of a LOT of things...like the first Sept. 11 domestic terror act in this country did not take place in 2001...'twas 1857...when 120 innocent men, women, and children were slaughtered in Western Utah...called the Mountain Meadows Massacre...and the perps involved? Yup. Those "peace-filled" Mormons!)

20 posted on 03/24/2013 2:58:40 PM PDT by Colofornian
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To: golux
...surely we can agree it’s more pleasant to have neighbors who ‘fundamentally’ believe in science fiction, whether or not they are right, than neighbors who ‘fundamentally’ believe in killing you, whether or not they are right?...What do you think most Moslems think of “blacks,” hmm? Who gathered and sold the slaves? Who created the slave trade and had it in place worldwide long before the New World?

Well, surely you can understand that -- as a Christian -- I attempt to take my cultural cues from a certain "Lord" named Jesus Christ? So, who am I to follow when it comes to setting cultural priorities? Jesus and the apostle Paul? or a Jew named Golux?

Here's Jesus:

"I tell you, my friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body and after that can do no more. But I will show you whom you should fear: Fear him who, after the killing of the body, has power to throw you into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him." (Luke 12:4-5)

So does Jesus say, "fear the Islamic terrorists?" (No)
Does Jesus say fear the original slave traders?(No)

Instead, does He say to exercise fear of the One who has authority to cast somebody into hell? (Yes)
So, indeed, our "fear" is on behalf of those who are placing their eternal spiritual lives at risk.

Oh. And one other thing. Unlike a lot of ADD/ADHD posters these days, we are able to multi-task.

(I fear what might have happened had our ADD generation had to take on both the Japanese & Germans on multiple frontlines)

21 posted on 03/24/2013 3:03:52 PM PDT by Colofornian
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To: Colofornian

I don’t mean this as a personal attack, for I think it is truly an astonishing achievement:

After a review of your posting history on FR I see you successfully and consistently manage, with only a few carefully misplaced words and ideas (supported by quotes,) to actually subtract, little by little, from the sum total of human knowledge.


22 posted on 03/24/2013 3:09:43 PM PDT by golux
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To: golux

(Well, that’s what happens when you wind up quoting Mormon authorities left & right...)


23 posted on 03/24/2013 3:13:02 PM PDT by Colofornian
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To: golux

Now you’ve done it. Prepare to see acres upon acres of Scripture holding barely any relevance to the topic at hand.


24 posted on 03/24/2013 3:24:56 PM PDT by 1rudeboy
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To: golux
"... I see you successfully and consistently manage, with only a few carefully misplaced words and ideas ..."

Show us the misplaced words or ideas you claim this other person [whom you said the above to] is presenting on FR.

25 posted on 03/24/2013 3:28:13 PM PDT by BlueDragon (the beatings will continue until morale improves)
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To: Colofornian

That was yet another of the reasons why I refused to vote for Romney. The LDS and Mittens are such an easy target that their corruption would bring shame to all Christendom, causing even more intense ignorance over what the Bible actually teaches as well.


26 posted on 03/24/2013 3:30:26 PM PDT by Greetings_Puny_Humans
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To: 1rudeboy; golux
Prepare to see acres upon acres of Scripture holding barely any relevance to the topic at hand.

There is a "new" topic at hand, raised by golux. If anything follows from that...then golux shares most of the responsibility, for making vague, unsupported assertions coupled with personal insult (that pretended to not be personal insult).

We know you around here. That sort of thing is right up your alley [to support], for it's in keeping with your own drive-by M.O. style.

27 posted on 03/24/2013 3:37:49 PM PDT by BlueDragon (the beatings will continue until morale improves)
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To: BlueDragon

Alas I yield and cower before the prowess of he to whom who have said the above to whom and his minions. All hail the other person or thing instead of that other one, and may you be appeased and fight some other sorry bastard instead of me!


28 posted on 03/24/2013 3:39:11 PM PDT by golux
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To: BlueDragon

Spare me the sanctimony [pun intended].


29 posted on 03/24/2013 3:39:48 PM PDT by 1rudeboy
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To: Greetings_Puny_Humans; Colofornian

Yes, you are right. I too felt that the JFK analogies were completely inappropriate. Having read much of the Book of Mormon (all I could take, really - Alma and one or two others) the sheer insanity of the faith (and its recency - hey at least we can disprove stuff that happened less that 2000 years ago) led me to believe that Mitt’s foundation was rotten, or would at least be hammered. Yet, you WILL have a Mormon president, and much sooner than a Jew.


30 posted on 03/24/2013 3:46:00 PM PDT by golux
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To: golux

“Yes, you are right. I too felt that the JFK analogies were completely inappropriate. Having read much of the Book of Mormon (all I could take, really - Alma and one or two others) the sheer insanity of the faith (and its recency - hey at least we can disprove stuff that happened less that 2000 years ago) led me to believe that Mitt’s foundation was rotten, or would at least be hammered. Yet, you WILL have a Mormon president, and much sooner than a Jew.”


What, Jon Huntsman? The GOPe is on its way to collapse with the RINOs it already has.

Something tells me you’re having some good ol’ Mormon magical thinking.


31 posted on 03/24/2013 3:48:18 PM PDT by Greetings_Puny_Humans
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To: Greetings_Puny_Humans

Americans decided to take an absolute unknown, most likely born in Kenya, who certainly held an Indonesian passport and a number of US Social Security numbers, who evidently did not know his “spiritual father” Wright, whose college and grad school records remain sealed, whose real father is unknown, who is almost certainly not the author of his own autobiographies, who is after all probably a Moslem, who may well be - the more you look into it - a hard drug user and homosexual - whose name is Hussein Obama, and make him President, ignoring all sorts of voter fraud issues.

You’re telling me we have a problem with sober, clean cut white boys?


32 posted on 03/24/2013 4:01:17 PM PDT by golux
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To: golux

“You’re telling me we have a problem with sober, clean cut white boys?”


Apparently. Mittens lost, didn’t he? The sober white boy was a leader in a religious cult and known for his pathological lying. He lost the easiest campaign in history as a result.


33 posted on 03/24/2013 4:05:57 PM PDT by Greetings_Puny_Humans
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To: golux
Which means that, although you just mentioned yourself having conducted a "review" of another's posting history, you've still got nothing to back your claim, other than more smart-mouth mocking.
34 posted on 03/24/2013 4:07:13 PM PDT by BlueDragon (the beatings will continue until morale improves)
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To: BlueDragon

Add me to the “mocking” list, please. I didn’t need to conduct a review, either.


35 posted on 03/24/2013 4:11:08 PM PDT by 1rudeboy
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To: 1rudeboy

And we wonder why an unemployed nation can’t win one election after 9/11 against the Magic Moslem from Mombasa.


36 posted on 03/24/2013 4:21:02 PM PDT by golux
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To: golux

Better a Muslim than a Mormon, or so I’ve heard.


37 posted on 03/24/2013 4:22:44 PM PDT by 1rudeboy
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To: svcw

Wow, that’s a lot of dough.
__________________________________

Joey Smith found out there was a lot of dough to be made from playacting religion..

Briggie Young had over $1 MILLION when he died in 1877...

it just took long in those days...


38 posted on 03/24/2013 4:38:28 PM PDT by Tennessee Nana
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To: golux

it’s more pleasant to have neighbors who ‘fundamentally’ believe in science fiction, whether or not they are right, than neighbors who ‘fundamentally’ believe in killing you, whether or not they are right?
__________________________________________

The Moslems are science fiction readers ???


39 posted on 03/24/2013 4:42:01 PM PDT by Tennessee Nana
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To: Tennessee Nana

Just looked that up:
$1000000 in 1877 would cost $21,246,553.89 in 2012


40 posted on 03/24/2013 4:42:03 PM PDT by svcw (Why is one cell on another planet considered life, and in the womb it is not.)
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To: golux
But surely we can agree it’s more pleasant to have neighbors... who are on their way to a REAL heaven and not a fake, 3-level one that MORMONism has.

Let me have outlaw bikers that finally get saved living by me than Stepford zombies that smile and wave on their way to hell.

41 posted on 03/24/2013 4:46:29 PM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: golux
And what’s it to you whether Mormons like blacks?

As a JEW; do you care if MORMONism considers you a GENTILE?

42 posted on 03/24/2013 4:47:20 PM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: golux
After a review of your posting history on FR I see you successfully and consistently manage, with only a few carefully misplaced words and ideas (supported by quotes,) to actually subtract, little by little, from the sum total of human knowledge.

Golly!!

I've missed this part; so could actually SHOW me an example of what you have SEEN?

43 posted on 03/24/2013 4:48:40 PM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: 1rudeboy
Prepare to see acres upon acres of Scripture holding barely any relevance to the topic at hand.

To balance the scorn and lack of Scriptural adherance that prevails on much of FR.

44 posted on 03/24/2013 4:50:08 PM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: golux
All hail the other person or thing instead of that other one, and may you be appeased and fight some other sorry bastard instead of me!

The ammo you received doesn't fit the weapon you were issued?

45 posted on 03/24/2013 4:51:29 PM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: golux
Yet, you WILL have a Mormon president, and much sooner than a Jew.

Ah...

You've read the memo, too; I see...



Office of First President & Living Prophet®:

November 8, 2012

Fellow MORMON Freeper Christians!!
 
I must apologize and ask for forgiveness from you all.
 
As you know, we at Headquarters NEVER tell you pew warmers how to vote. It says so right in our press releases. Anyway, we were ALL thrilled to the max when there were two – TWO! – MORMONs being touted in the primaries: Mitt Romney and Jon Huntsman.
 
Talk in our upper chambers high above SLC was how our gods were favoring us with these men; who had prepared their entire lives for an opportunity to save this Nation; which so badly needs guidance: OUR guidance even! So naturally, I and the other twelve analyzed and discussed the situation.
 
Consensus was that the voters should listen to the inner urging and vote for the one they wanted; but that seemed to be leaving WAY too much to chance.
 
I decided, that since I am the ONLY man on earth that can hear GOD’s voice, that I would pray for wisdom and clarity in the matter.
 
I hadn’t used the fleece in a while, so I questioned GOD with a test. A paper, with Romney on one side and Huntsman on the other was to be placed by the air conditioning vent high above my desk in the sumptuous office the Full Tithers have provided.
When the air would kick in later in the evening, while I was home, the paper would be blown down and whomever GOD wanted would then be visible on the upper surface.
 
As you can probably guess, when I came in the next day, the paper had landed on my desk, with Mitt’s name on top.
Last night, I was staying late, praying to GOD about how it was even possible that Mitt lost, when the janitorial cleaning crew came in. Being surprised to find me here, they apologized for interrupting me. I said to them, “It mattereth not, as I was about to leave anyway.”
 
As I was going out the door, the foreman of the crew just happened to mention that my office is ALWAYS so neat and tiny, never anything out of place, that they barely have to do anything to tidy up. Then one of the sweepers said, “Except that time in the spring when we came in to clean and found a paper with Huntman’s name on the floor by your desk. We put it back on your desk and left.
 
 
Tommy M.
 
PS Keep praying that Huntsman will add an “H” to his name. Jon looks so dang effeminate!
 
Onward to 2016!!!

46 posted on 03/24/2013 4:53:01 PM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: golux

You’re telling me we have a problem with sober, clean cut white boys?
_______________________________________

how do you know theyre sober ???

Joey Smith ran a bar ...

Briggie Young monopolized the alcohol manufacturing and trade in the Utah territory and made another forune...

Your Willard admitted he got into his father’s liquor cabinet when he was a teenager...

But besides that the black and Hispanic “clean cut boys” are fast taking over the numbers of white boys...


47 posted on 03/24/2013 4:53:46 PM PDT by Tennessee Nana
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To: Elsie

41-46 posted by Elsie.

Take a breath and let someone else post.


48 posted on 03/24/2013 4:54:19 PM PDT by Jean S
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To: Elsie

Here’s a question for you, preacher: if the existence of a musical proves that the Mormon God (or gods, don’t care) is “counterfeit,” then what does submerging a crucifix in a jar of urine prove?


49 posted on 03/24/2013 4:54:20 PM PDT by 1rudeboy
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To: Greetings_Puny_Humans
Apparently. Mittens lost, didn’t he?

It's not like we FR Flying Inmen didn't TELL you that would happen!!!

And we (who did NOT vote for MITT) get the blame from many on FR!

Go figger!!!

50 posted on 03/24/2013 4:54:51 PM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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