Skip to comments.Many young women live with men first, marry later
Posted on 04/03/2013 10:34:18 PM PDT by Olog-hai
Nearly half of young women say the first time they lived with a guy, they werent married.
The results are a marked changed from 1995 when only 34 percent said they moved in together. Now it is 48 percent. Back then, 39 percent said they married first, compared to 23 now.
(Excerpt) Read more at hosted.ap.org ...
The ultimate “Cart Before the Horse”. Living together will be a joy if the other “outdated” and “religious” requirements are met.
We are where we’re at for a reason. Don’t discount religion. Embrace it. Get to know Jesus.
What's that song go? "Don't hand me no lines and keep yer hands to yerself."
If thatz their strategy then I got a deal fir them...
If you like it shoulda out a ring on it...
Or shoulda put put a ring on it....
A young woman today has been well used, and a relationship with her is more like finding the right timing in the rotation.
Many young men take the risk that they will never know their own children.
They HOPE to marry later.
Ain't no sure thing, and marriage rates have been on a slide for quite some time.
You will have a good share of unmarried old maids and babymamas. Heck, we already do.
Mistake for women but they don’t seem to care
As I told my wife before we where married “Why would I ever live with a woman I wasn’t forced to do so by law?”
I say that is a good question for anybody.
It’s time to teach these young girls how it works. They need to value themselves and play hard to get. Men treasure a woman if they’ve had to work hard to win her heart. I know what I’m talking about. Thirty-five years ago I had a date for New Year’s with an old friend. The man who later became my husband asked me out and I told him I already had plans. As I walked in the door after midnight he was calling. Our first date, December 4, 1977, Proposal, January 7, 1978, Wedding, May 6, 1978. Until he passed away last year from a sudden illness we had a wonderful marriage which lasted just shy of thirty-four years. I’m still married to him and will be until we meet again!
We were married in 1962.
We did not live together before we married.
I’m not trying to justify it, but having to pay higher taxes for a joint income that puts you into a higher bracket after marriage is certainly not an incentive to get married.
living together has been a joy and learning to compromise -- I have bad habits and so does she, but we accept that about the other
i don't see how living together could have changed things for us.
Men don’t marry because “why should they?” — they get the sex with no obligations
Living together or “trial marriages” are the road to divorce. Divorce hurts women and children. Chalk up another win for liberalism.
wonderful story. I’m sorry for your loss, but you had 35 wonderful years together and i’m sure he’s waiting for you in heaven
Great story and you will meet again.
Getting paid to stay poor and single isn’t an incentive either and that’s the end of the social spectrum where most of the destruction occurs.
Otherwise, it’s a marginal difference for most income brackets.
You’re right, there’s a big difference by class. For upper and middle classes, living together has become one more step in assuring the couple will do well if/when they consummate the marriage, at which point there’s a high likelihood of them staying together, at least until the kids are raised.
For the lower classes it tends to be part of a revolving door lifestyle, whether or not dictated by government benefits.
To get men with jobs interested in getting married again the IRS should allow husbands to depreciate their wife's beauty over 20 years. Many young women get the false idea their increasing beauty will last a lifetime. Then they overplay their hand.
As God is my witness, I don't understand how you can be with the woman you want to spend your life with for five whole years and not be married to her. Where do you find the restraint? I knew I was going to marry my wife the day I met her. It took me three months to convince her (fool her) that I was worth it, and then another six months before the priest would let us marry. Most of my married children knew their spouses for about a year before they married. I had one son who dated his girl for three years before proposing. I said to my wife that I didn't really think he wanted to marry her or he'd have proposed two years ago. Darned if they didn't break up right after sending out the invitations. He eventually went on to marry a girl he knew five months before proposing.
Everybody's different, but good gravy, you've got some willpower, son.
Yeah, and it's a real walk in the park for men and fathers. Try having a Y chromosome in "family" court sometime. You'll find out real fast that what you thought were rights are really just privileges and what it's like to be a second class citizen.
What a love story. How wonderful. I am sorry for the loss of your husband but isn’t it something that you had 35 years which is way more than most because of divorce. I am so glad that you picked the right guy and had a wonderful life.
It’s not surprising that the “lower classes” suffer from low IQs. On average they don’t think well, have very short time horizons, and are acutely emotionally immature.
Or am I describing politicians?
The system’s out of balance. Studies show that a vast majority of divorced people wish they’d worked it out and stayed married.
The education system is an indoctrination system. No parent would choose to teach their kids to have more and better sex. Instead, parents would want their kids, at an early age, to learn how to form good friendships and healthy relationships, learn about the importance of marriage and of keeping covenants and promises for the long haul.
I didn’t mean that liberalism doesn’t victimize men as well, society as a whole is a victim to its bad thinking. If she has the kid you’re responsible, if she decides to kill it in the womb you don’t get a say. It’s nuts.
The old test drive.
Why any woman agrees to that arraingement is beyond me. Speaking as a man, as the old saying goes, “Why buy the cow when you’re getting the milk for free”
Married my high school sweetheart. He asked me to move in with him and i explained that i was raised better than that. A marriage proposal followed a few weeks later. Been married 27 years now and selective memory has set in and he swears he never suggested any such thing. I told our daughter that the deal is this: if you live with a man before you marry then pay for the wedding yourself. Nothing takes away the excitment and specialness of a wedding like knowing at the end of the day you are just going to go home to the same old house together that you left that morning.
> To get men with jobs interested in getting married again the IRS should allow husbands to depreciate their wife’s beauty over 20 years. Many young women get the false idea their increasing beauty will last a lifetime. Then they overplay their hand.
Boy you just wait until the ladies here on the forum read this....lol
Why buy the cow when youre getting the milk for free
Another saying from one of the ‘office girls’:
When you buy shoes, don’t you try them on first?
So a lot of discussion about whether it made sense for people from different cultures and nationalities and languages to be together (she's Polish), but finally decided that we didn't care about that -- quite frankly we have the same conservative views, are strongly Catholic and fiscally responsible. So the compatibility won over the other objections.
Women will pretend to be EXACTLY what you were looking for until payday. Then they'll take your money and live the “cougar” lifestyle. I see it ALL THE TIME and every guy they used thought the woman was incredible. Many of these fools were getting married within 6-12 months.
Maybe they don't all start out with that intention but our courts enable the temptation to “grab and run” when things get a little hard. There is too much incentive for a woman to dissolve her marriage.
I probably would never get married unless I know for a fact the woman is much wealthier than I am or she shows complete devotion to me for maybe 10 years without a single incident. Living together before that is also a no-no because it can qualify as a common law marriage.
Yeah, so much for feminism...
The guys get free milk without having to buy the cow...
Nice going, girls....
Engaged Encounter Weekend...!
Found out recently, after almost 30 yrs of marriage, the hubs and some other guys jumped the wall during our Weekend and got pizza...and didn’t take me!!! If I had known, might not have shown at the altar....
Once again, I need to read thread before posting!!!
I know there is a lot of doom porn going around these days.
But, just thinking out loud here...how will all these “single” moms fare when it is up them, alone, to figure out how to survive.
That would not end well.
I hate to admit it, but my wife and I did live together for two years before we were married, but I had proposed to her very early on (before we actually moved in together), and I knew her from waaay back in elementary and high school (always had a crush on her). We had have been married sooner, but I blame her sister. Her sister wanted to be married once before my wife was married twice. So, we had to wait an extra year before she hitched the knot.
I know, I know. I still feel guilty about it, but all is good now, we’ve been married 16 years now.
Engaged encounter. Did that.
I wasn’t Catholic, but figured it would be fine.
I got a horrible gastric bug. Spent most of the weekend in the men’s room.
I am convinced the nuns were out to get me.
If a man loves a woman he will want to marry her. It’s that simple.
If that’s the argument for marriage then why not for gays, or groups, or close relatives?
yes, but love doesn’t start with sex.
I was in the bathroom too during EEW...
Spent the time wondering what the hell I was doing!!!
Thirty years later, am STILL wondering....
We were both 26 at the time. Most of the othe couples were late teens/-21. My fiancé and I had know each other for years, seriously for a full year.
Listening to these other kids, she and I would look at each other with the thought of, “someone needs to stop these kids...they have no clue what they are getting into.”
27 years later we are still going strong. My guess is the other kids did not fare so well.
That is beautiful Fran.
I am sorry hon for your loss. I don’t know what I would do without my wife...I much prefer to die first selfishly
I watched my grandma live 3 decades without my grandfather but she had 27 grandchildren all nearby and I watched my own mom live another 11 past my dad.
As is often the wont of women in the west where they usually outlive the man.
You and I are similar ages I assume since you married in 78.
I might could have married end of college in 80.
Girls back then usually at a minimum required a committed relationship to sleep with a boy...and many did indeed hold out.
Not like my mother’s 40s and 50s kids where most held out.
Today I employ a number of young men and they tell me 90% of attractive girls who are of age have sex with no strings at all and folks do not even date ..like that is some anachronism.
They “hang out” and if they like one another...they have sex...and maybe down the road decide to be boyfriend/girlfriend.
They have it pretty backwards...
It’s like we’ve gone from somewhat loosened sexual behavior in the mid 70s of my youth to just short of Caligula’s barge pretty damned fast.
and the consequences are illegitimacy and even more lack of respect for marrying.
My wife and I married like you guys did too. First date...a blind one...we knew in hours we would be marrying and having children...and quickly.
October first date/May marriage ...11 months later..first boy...and so forth..going on 18 years later
I pity folks who have never had as such.
my practical advice to women is to not sleep with just anyone obviously and to not play house if you must until wedding date and ring on finger
we did not sell my wife’s condo till we were married
“To get men with jobs interested in getting married again the IRS should allow husbands to depreciate their wife’s beauty over 20 years.”
Well, that kind of solves the problem since you will be dead and not have to worry about taxes anymore after telling your wife you are taking a deduction based on her declining beauty..
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