Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Many young women live with men first, marry later
Associated Press ^ | Apr 4, 2013 12:52 AM EDT | Mike Stobbe

Posted on 04/03/2013 10:34:18 PM PDT by Olog-hai

Nearly half of young women say the first time they lived with a guy, they weren’t married. …

The results are a marked changed from 1995 when only 34 percent said they moved in together. Now it is 48 percent. Back then, 39 percent said they married first, compared to 23 now. …

(Excerpt) Read more at hosted.ap.org ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Health/Medicine; Religion; Society
KEYWORDS:
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-5051-52 next last

1 posted on 04/03/2013 10:34:18 PM PDT by Olog-hai
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: Olog-hai

The ultimate “Cart Before the Horse”. Living together will be a joy if the other “outdated” and “religious” requirements are met.

We are where we’re at for a reason. Don’t discount religion. Embrace it. Get to know Jesus.


2 posted on 04/03/2013 10:38:39 PM PDT by youngidiot (God help us.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Olog-hai
My girlfriend said and I quote "Hell no"

What's that song go? "Don't hand me no lines and keep yer hands to yerself."

3 posted on 04/03/2013 10:40:40 PM PDT by Darren McCarty (If most people were more than keyboard warriors, we might have won the election)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Olog-hai

Met a beautiful young lady a few months ago.

Of course, she’s shacking up with some guy. It’s rather the norm these days for a lot of them.


4 posted on 04/03/2013 10:42:41 PM PDT by F15Eagle (1 John 5:4-5, 4:15, 5:13; John 3:17-18, 6:69, 11:25, 14:6, 20:31; Rom10:8-11; 1 Tim 2:5; Titus 3:4-5)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Darren McCarty

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PdpAop7gp0w


5 posted on 04/03/2013 10:43:45 PM PDT by F15Eagle (1 John 5:4-5, 4:15, 5:13; John 3:17-18, 6:69, 11:25, 14:6, 20:31; Rom10:8-11; 1 Tim 2:5; Titus 3:4-5)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Olog-hai

If thatz their strategy then I got a deal fir them...


6 posted on 04/03/2013 10:50:43 PM PDT by Vendome (Don't take life so seriously, you won't live through it anyway)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Darren McCarty

If you like it shoulda out a ring on it...


7 posted on 04/03/2013 10:52:39 PM PDT by Vendome (Don't take life so seriously, you won't live through it anyway)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Vendome

Or shoulda put put a ring on it....

Stoopit phone...


8 posted on 04/03/2013 10:54:20 PM PDT by Vendome (Don't take life so seriously, you won't live through it anyway)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: Olog-hai

A young woman today has been well used, and a relationship with her is more like finding the right timing in the rotation.


9 posted on 04/03/2013 10:59:13 PM PDT by ansel12 (The lefts most effective quote-I'm libertarian on social issues, but conservative on economics.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Olog-hai
Many young women live with men first, marry later

Many young men take the risk that they will never know their own children.

10 posted on 04/03/2013 11:20:33 PM PDT by donna (Pray for revival.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Olog-hai
Many young women live with men first, marry later

They HOPE to marry later.

Ain't no sure thing, and marriage rates have been on a slide for quite some time.

You will have a good share of unmarried old maids and babymamas. Heck, we already do.

11 posted on 04/03/2013 11:32:20 PM PDT by SIDENET
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Olog-hai

Mistake for women but they don’t seem to care


12 posted on 04/03/2013 11:48:40 PM PDT by wardaddy (wanna know how my kin felt during Reconstruction in Mississippi, you fixin to find out firsthand)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Olog-hai

As I told my wife before we where married “Why would I ever live with a woman I wasn’t forced to do so by law?”

I say that is a good question for anybody.


13 posted on 04/04/2013 12:07:29 AM PDT by Jim from C-Town (The government is rarely benevolent, often malevolent and never benign!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: wardaddy

It’s time to teach these young girls how it works. They need to value themselves and play hard to get. Men treasure a woman if they’ve had to work hard to win her heart. I know what I’m talking about. Thirty-five years ago I had a date for New Year’s with an old friend. The man who later became my husband asked me out and I told him I already had plans. As I walked in the door after midnight he was calling. Our first date, December 4, 1977, Proposal, January 7, 1978, Wedding, May 6, 1978. Until he passed away last year from a sudden illness we had a wonderful marriage which lasted just shy of thirty-four years. I’m still married to him and will be until we meet again!


14 posted on 04/04/2013 12:18:07 AM PDT by Fran B (Love!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: Fran B

We were married in 1962.

We did not live together before we married.


15 posted on 04/04/2013 1:02:05 AM PDT by Dan(9698)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 14 | View Replies]

To: Olog-hai

I’m not trying to justify it, but having to pay higher taxes for a joint income that puts you into a higher bracket after marriage is certainly not an incentive to get married.


16 posted on 04/04/2013 1:50:33 AM PDT by pieceofthepuzzle
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Darren McCarty
good for you. My wife and I did that -- for 5 years before we got married. We went for the CAtholic "engaged encounters" pre-marital sessions (where you get to know each other's like and dislikes and tastes on a much deeper level than otherwise) and we've been happily married for 4 years now.

living together has been a joy and learning to compromise -- I have bad habits and so does she, but we accept that about the other

i don't see how living together could have changed things for us.

17 posted on 04/04/2013 3:12:00 AM PDT by Cronos (Latin presbuteros->Late Latin presbyter->Old English pruos->Middle Engl prest->priest)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: SIDENET; Darren McCarty

Men don’t marry because “why should they?” — they get the sex with no obligations


18 posted on 04/04/2013 3:13:20 AM PDT by Cronos (Latin presbuteros->Late Latin presbyter->Old English pruos->Middle Engl prest->priest)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 11 | View Replies]

To: Olog-hai

Living together or “trial marriages” are the road to divorce. Divorce hurts women and children. Chalk up another win for liberalism.


19 posted on 04/04/2013 3:14:07 AM PDT by 1010RD (First, Do No Harm)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Fran B

wonderful story. I’m sorry for your loss, but you had 35 wonderful years together and i’m sure he’s waiting for you in heaven


20 posted on 04/04/2013 3:14:56 AM PDT by Cronos (Latin presbuteros->Late Latin presbyter->Old English pruos->Middle Engl prest->priest)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 14 | View Replies]

To: Fran B

Great story and you will meet again.


21 posted on 04/04/2013 3:15:57 AM PDT by 1010RD (First, Do No Harm)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 14 | View Replies]

To: pieceofthepuzzle

Getting paid to stay poor and single isn’t an incentive either and that’s the end of the social spectrum where most of the destruction occurs.

Otherwise, it’s a marginal difference for most income brackets.


22 posted on 04/04/2013 3:17:42 AM PDT by 1010RD (First, Do No Harm)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 16 | View Replies]

To: 1010RD

You’re right, there’s a big difference by class. For upper and middle classes, living together has become one more step in assuring the couple will do well if/when they consummate the marriage, at which point there’s a high likelihood of them staying together, at least until the kids are raised.

For the lower classes it tends to be part of a revolving door lifestyle, whether or not dictated by government benefits.


23 posted on 04/04/2013 3:28:08 AM PDT by 9YearLurker
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 22 | View Replies]

To: pieceofthepuzzle
having to pay higher taxes for a joint income that puts you into a higher bracket after marriage is certainly not an incentive to get married.

To get men with jobs interested in getting married again the IRS should allow husbands to depreciate their wife's beauty over 20 years. Many young women get the false idea their increasing beauty will last a lifetime. Then they overplay their hand.

24 posted on 04/04/2013 3:47:56 AM PDT by Reeses
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 16 | View Replies]

To: Cronos
My wife and I did that -- for 5 years before we got married.

As God is my witness, I don't understand how you can be with the woman you want to spend your life with for five whole years and not be married to her. Where do you find the restraint? I knew I was going to marry my wife the day I met her. It took me three months to convince her (fool her) that I was worth it, and then another six months before the priest would let us marry. Most of my married children knew their spouses for about a year before they married. I had one son who dated his girl for three years before proposing. I said to my wife that I didn't really think he wanted to marry her or he'd have proposed two years ago. Darned if they didn't break up right after sending out the invitations. He eventually went on to marry a girl he knew five months before proposing.

Everybody's different, but good gravy, you've got some willpower, son.

25 posted on 04/04/2013 3:49:12 AM PDT by old and tired
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 17 | View Replies]

To: 1010RD
Divorce hurts women and children. Chalk up another win for liberalism.

Yeah, and it's a real walk in the park for men and fathers. Try having a Y chromosome in "family" court sometime. You'll find out real fast that what you thought were rights are really just privileges and what it's like to be a second class citizen.

26 posted on 04/04/2013 4:23:38 AM PDT by Orangedog (An optimist is someone who tells you to 'cheer up' when things are going his way)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 19 | View Replies]

To: Fran B

What a love story. How wonderful. I am sorry for the loss of your husband but isn’t it something that you had 35 years which is way more than most because of divorce. I am so glad that you picked the right guy and had a wonderful life.


27 posted on 04/04/2013 4:31:03 AM PDT by napscoordinator
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 14 | View Replies]

To: 9YearLurker

It’s not surprising that the “lower classes” suffer from low IQs. On average they don’t think well, have very short time horizons, and are acutely emotionally immature.

Or am I describing politicians?


28 posted on 04/04/2013 4:31:54 AM PDT by 1010RD (First, Do No Harm)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 23 | View Replies]

To: Orangedog

The system’s out of balance. Studies show that a vast majority of divorced people wish they’d worked it out and stayed married.

The education system is an indoctrination system. No parent would choose to teach their kids to have more and better sex. Instead, parents would want their kids, at an early age, to learn how to form good friendships and healthy relationships, learn about the importance of marriage and of keeping covenants and promises for the long haul.

I didn’t mean that liberalism doesn’t victimize men as well, society as a whole is a victim to its bad thinking. If she has the kid you’re responsible, if she decides to kill it in the womb you don’t get a say. It’s nuts.


29 posted on 04/04/2013 4:35:33 AM PDT by 1010RD (First, Do No Harm)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 26 | View Replies]

To: Olog-hai

The old test drive.


30 posted on 04/04/2013 4:36:39 AM PDT by kenmcg (scapegoat)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Olog-hai

Why any woman agrees to that arraingement is beyond me. Speaking as a man, as the old saying goes, “Why buy the cow when you’re getting the milk for free”


31 posted on 04/04/2013 4:42:04 AM PDT by Marathoner (What are we waiting for? Where are the Articles of Impeachment!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Olog-hai

Married my high school sweetheart. He asked me to move in with him and i explained that i was raised better than that. A marriage proposal followed a few weeks later. Been married 27 years now and selective memory has set in and he swears he never suggested any such thing. I told our daughter that the deal is this: if you live with a man before you marry then pay for the wedding yourself. Nothing takes away the excitment and specialness of a wedding like knowing at the end of the day you are just going to go home to the same old house together that you left that morning.


32 posted on 04/04/2013 4:45:49 AM PDT by annelizly
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Reeses

> To get men with jobs interested in getting married again the IRS should allow husbands to depreciate their wife’s beauty over 20 years. Many young women get the false idea their increasing beauty will last a lifetime. Then they overplay their hand.

Boy you just wait until the ladies here on the forum read this....lol


33 posted on 04/04/2013 4:46:02 AM PDT by jsanders2001
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 24 | View Replies]

To: Marathoner

“Why buy the cow when you’re getting the milk for free”

Another saying from one of the ‘office girls’:
When you buy shoes, don’t you try them on first?


34 posted on 04/04/2013 4:49:34 AM PDT by duckman (I'm part of the group pulling the wagon!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 31 | View Replies]

To: old and tired
well, I should have elaborated. We were travelling about for our careers, so for much of the time we were in different countries -- quite often in different continents and met in person after months (yipppe to skype!).

So a lot of discussion about whether it made sense for people from different cultures and nationalities and languages to be together (she's Polish), but finally decided that we didn't care about that -- quite frankly we have the same conservative views, are strongly Catholic and fiscally responsible. So the compatibility won over the other objections.

35 posted on 04/04/2013 5:20:44 AM PDT by Cronos (Latin presbuteros->Late Latin presbyter->Old English pruos->Middle Engl prest->priest)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 25 | View Replies]

To: old and tired
I don't know when you got married but it's a damn battlefield out there today with the ridiculous divorce laws and shark lawyers.

Women will pretend to be EXACTLY what you were looking for until payday. Then they'll take your money and live the “cougar” lifestyle. I see it ALL THE TIME and every guy they used thought the woman was incredible. Many of these fools were getting married within 6-12 months.

Maybe they don't all start out with that intention but our courts enable the temptation to “grab and run” when things get a little hard. There is too much incentive for a woman to dissolve her marriage.

I probably would never get married unless I know for a fact the woman is much wealthier than I am or she shows complete devotion to me for maybe 10 years without a single incident. Living together before that is also a no-no because it can qualify as a common law marriage.

36 posted on 04/04/2013 5:30:07 AM PDT by varyouga
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 25 | View Replies]

To: Olog-hai

Yeah, so much for feminism...
The guys get free milk without having to buy the cow...
Nice going, girls....


37 posted on 04/04/2013 5:33:09 AM PDT by matginzac
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Cronos

Yikes!!!
Engaged Encounter Weekend...!
Found out recently, after almost 30 yrs of marriage, the hubs and some other guys jumped the wall during our Weekend and got pizza...and didn’t take me!!! If I had known, might not have shown at the altar....


38 posted on 04/04/2013 5:37:48 AM PDT by matginzac
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 17 | View Replies]

To: Marathoner

Once again, I need to read thread before posting!!!


39 posted on 04/04/2013 5:40:13 AM PDT by matginzac
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 31 | View Replies]

To: Olog-hai

I know there is a lot of doom porn going around these days.

But, just thinking out loud here...how will all these “single” moms fare when it is up them, alone, to figure out how to survive.

That would not end well.


40 posted on 04/04/2013 5:47:01 AM PDT by Vermont Lt (Does anybody really know what time it is? Does anybody really care?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Olog-hai

I hate to admit it, but my wife and I did live together for two years before we were married, but I had proposed to her very early on (before we actually moved in together), and I knew her from waaay back in elementary and high school (always had a crush on her). We had have been married sooner, but I blame her sister. Her sister wanted to be married once before my wife was married twice. So, we had to wait an extra year before she hitched the knot.

I know, I know. I still feel guilty about it, but all is good now, we’ve been married 16 years now.


41 posted on 04/04/2013 5:47:32 AM PDT by Thorliveshere (Tais deau sá taghdedaul!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Cronos
Men don’t marry because “why should they?” — they get the sex with no obligations

Because he loves her and grows more so as time goes on?
42 posted on 04/04/2013 5:48:51 AM PDT by Vision (Obama is king of the "Takers." Don't be a "Taker.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 18 | View Replies]

To: matginzac

Engaged encounter. Did that.

I wasn’t Catholic, but figured it would be fine.

I got a horrible gastric bug. Spent most of the weekend in the men’s room.

I am convinced the nuns were out to get me.


43 posted on 04/04/2013 5:53:07 AM PDT by Vermont Lt (Does anybody really know what time it is? Does anybody really care?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 38 | View Replies]

To: Olog-hai

If a man loves a woman he will want to marry her. It’s that simple.


44 posted on 04/04/2013 5:53:45 AM PDT by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Vision

If that’s the argument for marriage then why not for gays, or groups, or close relatives?


45 posted on 04/04/2013 5:55:01 AM PDT by jjotto ("Ya could look it up!")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 42 | View Replies]

To: Vision

yes, but love doesn’t start with sex.


46 posted on 04/04/2013 6:00:58 AM PDT by Cronos (Latin presbuteros->Late Latin presbyter->Old English pruos->Middle Engl prest->priest)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 42 | View Replies]

To: Vermont Lt

LOL...
I was in the bathroom too during EEW...
Spent the time wondering what the hell I was doing!!!
Thirty years later, am STILL wondering....


47 posted on 04/04/2013 6:11:05 AM PDT by matginzac
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 43 | View Replies]

To: matginzac

We were both 26 at the time. Most of the othe couples were late teens/-21. My fiancé and I had know each other for years, seriously for a full year.

Listening to these other kids, she and I would look at each other with the thought of, “someone needs to stop these kids...they have no clue what they are getting into.”

27 years later we are still going strong. My guess is the other kids did not fare so well.


48 posted on 04/04/2013 7:30:12 AM PDT by Vermont Lt (Does anybody really know what time it is? Does anybody really care?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 47 | View Replies]

To: Fran B

That is beautiful Fran.

I am sorry hon for your loss. I don’t know what I would do without my wife...I much prefer to die first selfishly

I watched my grandma live 3 decades without my grandfather but she had 27 grandchildren all nearby and I watched my own mom live another 11 past my dad.

As is often the wont of women in the west where they usually outlive the man.

You and I are similar ages I assume since you married in 78.

I might could have married end of college in 80.

Girls back then usually at a minimum required a committed relationship to sleep with a boy...and many did indeed hold out.

Not like my mother’s 40s and 50s kids where most held out.

Today I employ a number of young men and they tell me 90% of attractive girls who are of age have sex with no strings at all and folks do not even date ..like that is some anachronism.

They “hang out” and if they like one another...they have sex...and maybe down the road decide to be boyfriend/girlfriend.

They have it pretty backwards...

It’s like we’ve gone from somewhat loosened sexual behavior in the mid 70s of my youth to just short of Caligula’s barge pretty damned fast.

and the consequences are illegitimacy and even more lack of respect for marrying.

My wife and I married like you guys did too. First date...a blind one...we knew in hours we would be marrying and having children...and quickly.

October first date/May marriage ...11 months later..first boy...and so forth..going on 18 years later

I pity folks who have never had as such.

God bless

my practical advice to women is to not sleep with just anyone obviously and to not play house if you must until wedding date and ring on finger

we did not sell my wife’s condo till we were married


49 posted on 04/04/2013 8:14:06 AM PDT by wardaddy (wanna know how my kin felt during Reconstruction in Mississippi, you fixin to find out firsthand)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 14 | View Replies]

To: Reeses

“To get men with jobs interested in getting married again the IRS should allow husbands to depreciate their wife’s beauty over 20 years.”

Well, that kind of solves the problem since you will be dead and not have to worry about taxes anymore after telling your wife you are taking a deduction based on her declining beauty..


50 posted on 04/04/2013 8:33:40 AM PDT by pieceofthepuzzle
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 24 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-5051-52 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson