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***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***
Posted on 04/05/2013 5:16:03 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
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To: Arrowhead1952
41
posted on
04/05/2013 8:14:12 AM PDT
by
BenLurkin
(This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
To: Lucky9teen
John Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock
(MADE IN JAPAN ) for 6 am.
While his coffeepot
(MADE IN CHINA)
was perking, he shaved with his
electric razor
(MADE IN HONG KONG)
He put on a
dress shirt
(MADE IN SRI LANKA),
designer jeans
(MADE IN SINGAPORE)
and
tennis shoes
(MADE IN KOREA)
After cooking his breakfast in his new
electric skillet
(MADE IN INDIA)
he sat down with his
calculator
(MADE IN MEXICO)
to see how much he could spend today. After setting his
watch
(MADE IN TAIWAN )
to the radio
(MADE IN INDIA )
he got in his car
(MADE IN GERMANY )
filled it with GAS
(from Saudi Arabia )
and continued his search
for a good paying AMERICAN JOB.
At the end of yet another discouraging
and fruitless day
checking his
Computer
(made in MALAYSIA ),
John decided to relax for a while.
He put on his sandals
(MADE IN BRAZIL),
poured himself a glass of
wine
(MADE IN FRANCE)
and turned on his
TV
(MADE IN INDONESIA),
and then wondered why he can't
find a good paying job
in AMERICA
AND NOW HE'S HOPING HE CAN GET HELP FROM A PRESIDENT
MADE IN KENYA.
To: fredhead
Leaving for a hike in the mud in just a few minutes ...
43
posted on
04/05/2013 8:15:43 AM PDT
by
Pan_Yan
To: N. Theknow
The Pope was sitting next to this guy on a jetliner, and they were an hour or so into the flight. The Pope, who was working a crossword puzzle, asked his seat mate, “What’s a four-letter word ending in ‘unt?’”
The fellow answered, “Why “Aunt,” of course!”
The Pope replied, “Thanks! Uh, do you have an eraser?”
44
posted on
04/05/2013 8:19:54 AM PDT
by
Cyber Liberty
(I am a dissident. Will you join me? My name is John....)
To: Cyber Liberty
45
posted on
04/05/2013 8:31:18 AM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
(Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
To: Cyber Liberty
Anyone with needs to be prayed over, come forward, to the front at the altar, the Preacher says.
Sven gets in line, and when its his turn, the preacher asks: Sven, what do you want me to pray about for you.
Sven replies: Preacher, I need you to pray for my hearing.
The preacher puts one finger in Svens ear, and he places the other hand on top of Svens head and prays and prays and prays, he prays a blue streak for Sven.
After a few minutes, the Preacher removes his hands, stands back and asks,Sven, how is your hearing now?
Sven says, I dont know, Reverend, it aint til next Wednesday!
46
posted on
04/05/2013 8:34:03 AM PDT
by
N. Theknow
(Kennedys=Can't drive, can't ski, can't fly, can't skipper a boat, but they know what's best for you.)
To: Lucky9teen
A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by.
He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."
Passenger: "Who?"
Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."
Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."
Cabbie: "Oh no, definitely not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."
Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special.
Cabbie: "There's more... He had a memory like a computer. He could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right."
Passenger: "Wow, some guy then."
Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too -- he was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."
Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"
Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank. I just married his frigging widow."
47
posted on
04/05/2013 8:38:01 AM PDT
by
N. Theknow
(Kennedys=Can't drive, can't ski, can't fly, can't skipper a boat, but they know what's best for you.)
To: Lucky9teen
“I just got a new hearing aid”
“Oh really. What kind is it?”
“Ten O’clock.”
48
posted on
04/05/2013 8:42:14 AM PDT
by
4yearlurker
(Hurry up Spring!!!!)
To: Lucky9teen
49
posted on
04/05/2013 8:47:39 AM PDT
by
dead
(I've got my eye out for Mullah Omar.)
To: 4yearlurker
n tests 70% of people see the same word first. Post the first word you see.
50
posted on
04/05/2013 9:05:32 AM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
(Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
To: Lucky9teen
51
posted on
04/05/2013 9:08:45 AM PDT
by
N. Theknow
(Kennedys=Can't drive, can't ski, can't fly, can't skipper a boat, but they know what's best for you.)
To: llevrok
Lol.. Funniest thing I have seen in a long time... Aside from a nun missing an 18” putt.
52
posted on
04/05/2013 9:11:06 AM PDT
by
EQAndyBuzz
(The reason we own guns is to protect ourselves from those wanting to take our guns from us.)
To: Lucky9teen
Two Irish men, Kearney and O'Riordan were looking at a Mail order catalogue and admiring the models. Kearney remarks to O'Riordan, 'Have you seen the beautiful girls in this catalogue?'
O'Riordan replies, 'Yes, they are very beautiful. And look at the price.'
Kearney says, with wide eyes, 'Wow, they aren't very expensive. At this price, I'm buying one.'
O'Riordan, smiles and pats him on the back. 'Good idea. Order one and if she's as beautiful as she is in the catalogue, I will get one too.'
Three weeks later, Kearney, the youngest of the two asks his friend, O'Rordan, 'Did you ever receive the girl you ordered from that catalogue?'
O'Riordan replies with a glint in his eye, 'No, but it shouldn't be long now. She sent all her clothes yesterday.'
53
posted on
04/05/2013 9:13:45 AM PDT
by
N. Theknow
(Kennedys=Can't drive, can't ski, can't fly, can't skipper a boat, but they know what's best for you.)
To: Lucky9teen
54
posted on
04/05/2013 9:16:42 AM PDT
by
4yearlurker
(Hurry up Spring!!!!)
To: Lucky9teen
Post the first word you see NGISEDI... I'm not sure what it means... but I think he's a hockey player...
55
posted on
04/05/2013 9:20:22 AM PDT
by
r-q-tek86
("It doesn't matter how smart you are if you don't stop and think" - Dr. Sowell)
To: Lucky9teen
56
posted on
04/05/2013 9:20:35 AM PDT
by
Liberty Valance
(Keep a simple manner for a happy life :o)
To: Lucky9teen
First word that jumped out at me was “ring”.
57
posted on
04/05/2013 9:20:39 AM PDT
by
Dead Corpse
(I will not comply.)
To: TheOldLady
Excellent!
My sediments exactly!
58
posted on
04/05/2013 9:30:51 AM PDT
by
Monkey Face
(In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. ~ Ben Franklin)
To: Lucky9teen
59
posted on
04/05/2013 9:31:17 AM PDT
by
llevrok
(2013: The USA is in a Cold Civil War.)
To: 4yearlurker
60
posted on
04/05/2013 9:33:44 AM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
(Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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