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***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

Posted on 04/05/2013 5:16:03 AM PDT by Lucky9teen

Go For Broke Day

When : Always Apil 5th

Are you a gambler? Then, today, is your day. It's Go For Broke Day. Today is a day to put it all on the line, and take a chance. It might be money. Or, it can be a love relationship. Perhaps, it's time to initiate a risky project, or to take a new job.

Many of us go about our daily lives playing it safe, not taking big chances. If you are of a conservative ilk, you may have never gone out on a limb, or taken big risks. If this sounds like you, maybe today is a day to really let loose and "Go for Broke".

If you can muster up the courage to take a big risk, you can enjoy today by taking big risks and "Going for Broke". We will leave it up to you to decide whether the risk is worth taking.   



Former President George Bush has invited President Obama to the opening of his presidential library later this month. President Obama said he's looking forward to going through the library to see if there was anything else he could blame Bush for. ~ Jay Leno

The White House has now put together a website for kids. It's a website to teach kids how to manage a budget responsibly. The website is called "Irony.gov." ~ David Letterman

The Associated Press, the largest newsgathering outlet in the world, will no longer use the term "illegal immigrant." That is out. They will now use the phrase "undocumented Democrat." ~ Jay Leno

Yesterday President Obama shot baskets at the White House and made only two shots out of 22. Even Dick Cheney was like, “That guy needs to learn how to shoot.” ~ Jimmy Fallon

President Obama went only two for 22. It’s tough times for Obama — one minute, he’s asking Congress to raise the debt ceiling; the next, he’s asking them to lower the hoop. ~ Jimmy Fallon

Today President Obama asked Congress for $100 million to map the human brain. And believe me, if anybody needs a map to find their brain, it’s Congress. ~ Jay Leno

Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano — the person in charge of our national security — recently said she doesn’t email, text, or tweet. So remember: If you see something, say something — because there’s literally no other way she’ll get the message. ~ Jimmy Fallon

Everybody’s still talking about March Madness, and it turns out that President Obama has correctly predicted 11 of the Sweet 16 teams. When Joe Biden was asked about his Sweet 16, he said, “It was great — I had a petting zoo and a clown."


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: broke; ofst; silliness
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To: Arrowhead1952

41 posted on 04/05/2013 8:14:12 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: Lucky9teen


John Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock

(MADE IN JAPAN ) for 6 am.

While his coffeepot

(MADE IN CHINA)

was perking, he shaved with his

electric razor

(MADE IN HONG KONG)

He put on a

dress shirt

(MADE IN SRI LANKA),

designer jeans

(MADE IN SINGAPORE)

and

tennis shoes

(MADE IN KOREA)

After cooking his breakfast in his new

electric skillet

(MADE IN INDIA)

he sat down with his

calculator

(MADE IN MEXICO)

to see how much he could spend today. After setting his

watch

(MADE IN TAIWAN )

to the radio

(MADE IN INDIA )

he got in his car

(MADE IN GERMANY )

filled it with GAS

(from Saudi Arabia )

and continued his search

for a good paying AMERICAN JOB.

At the end of yet another discouraging

and fruitless day

checking his

Computer

(made in MALAYSIA ),

John decided to relax for a while.

He put on his sandals

(MADE IN BRAZIL),

poured himself a glass of

wine

(MADE IN FRANCE)

and turned on his

TV

(MADE IN INDONESIA),

and then wondered why he can't

find a good paying job

in AMERICA

AND NOW HE'S HOPING HE CAN GET HELP FROM A PRESIDENT

MADE IN KENYA.

42 posted on 04/05/2013 8:14:12 AM PDT by TheOldLady
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To: fredhead

Leaving for a hike in the mud in just a few minutes ...


43 posted on 04/05/2013 8:15:43 AM PDT by Pan_Yan
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To: N. Theknow

The Pope was sitting next to this guy on a jetliner, and they were an hour or so into the flight. The Pope, who was working a crossword puzzle, asked his seat mate, “What’s a four-letter word ending in ‘unt?’”

The fellow answered, “Why “Aunt,” of course!”

The Pope replied, “Thanks! Uh, do you have an eraser?”


44 posted on 04/05/2013 8:19:54 AM PDT by Cyber Liberty (I am a dissident. Will you join me? My name is John....)
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To: Cyber Liberty


Target apologizes after naming plus-sized women’s dress ‘Manatee Gray’

45 posted on 04/05/2013 8:31:18 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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To: Cyber Liberty
“Anyone with needs to be prayed over, come forward, to the front at the altar,” the Preacher says.

Sven gets in line, and when it’s his turn, the preacher asks: “Sven, what do you want me to pray about for you.”

Sven replies: “Preacher, I need you to pray for my hearing.”

The preacher puts one finger in Sven’s ear, and he places the other hand on top of Sven’s head and prays and prays and prays, he prays a blue streak for Sven.

After a few minutes, the Preacher removes his hands, stands back and asks,”Sven, how is your hearing now?”

Sven says, “I don’t know, Reverend, it ain’t til next Wednesday!”

46 posted on 04/05/2013 8:34:03 AM PDT by N. Theknow (Kennedys=Can't drive, can't ski, can't fly, can't skipper a boat, but they know what's best for you.)
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To: Lucky9teen
A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by.

He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."

Passenger: "Who?"

Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."

Cabbie: "Oh no, definitely not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."

Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special.

Cabbie: "There's more... He had a memory like a computer. He could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right."

Passenger: "Wow, some guy then."

Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too -- he was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."

Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"

Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank. I just married his frigging widow."

47 posted on 04/05/2013 8:38:01 AM PDT by N. Theknow (Kennedys=Can't drive, can't ski, can't fly, can't skipper a boat, but they know what's best for you.)
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To: Lucky9teen

“I just got a new hearing aid”

“Oh really. What kind is it?”

“Ten O’clock.”


48 posted on 04/05/2013 8:42:14 AM PDT by 4yearlurker (Hurry up Spring!!!!)
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To: Lucky9teen

49 posted on 04/05/2013 8:47:39 AM PDT by dead (I've got my eye out for Mullah Omar.)
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To: 4yearlurker

n tests 70% of people see the same word first. Post the first word you see.
50 posted on 04/05/2013 9:05:32 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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To: Lucky9teen

51 posted on 04/05/2013 9:08:45 AM PDT by N. Theknow (Kennedys=Can't drive, can't ski, can't fly, can't skipper a boat, but they know what's best for you.)
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To: llevrok

Lol.. Funniest thing I have seen in a long time... Aside from a nun missing an 18” putt.


52 posted on 04/05/2013 9:11:06 AM PDT by EQAndyBuzz (The reason we own guns is to protect ourselves from those wanting to take our guns from us.)
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To: Lucky9teen
Two Irish men, Kearney and O'Riordan were looking at a Mail order catalogue and admiring the models. Kearney remarks to O'Riordan, 'Have you seen the beautiful girls in this catalogue?'

O'Riordan replies, 'Yes, they are very beautiful. And look at the price.'

Kearney says, with wide eyes, 'Wow, they aren't very expensive. At this price, I'm buying one.'

O'Riordan, smiles and pats him on the back. 'Good idea. Order one and if she's as beautiful as she is in the catalogue, I will get one too.'

Three weeks later, Kearney, the youngest of the two asks his friend, O'Rordan, 'Did you ever receive the girl you ordered from that catalogue?'

O'Riordan replies with a glint in his eye, 'No, but it shouldn't be long now. She sent all her clothes yesterday.'

53 posted on 04/05/2013 9:13:45 AM PDT by N. Theknow (Kennedys=Can't drive, can't ski, can't fly, can't skipper a boat, but they know what's best for you.)
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To: Lucky9teen

Okay I’ll bite...appear.


54 posted on 04/05/2013 9:16:42 AM PDT by 4yearlurker (Hurry up Spring!!!!)
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To: Lucky9teen
Post the first word you see

NGISEDI... I'm not sure what it means... but I think he's a hockey player...

55 posted on 04/05/2013 9:20:22 AM PDT by r-q-tek86 ("It doesn't matter how smart you are if you don't stop and think" - Dr. Sowell)
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To: Lucky9teen

56 posted on 04/05/2013 9:20:35 AM PDT by Liberty Valance (Keep a simple manner for a happy life :o)
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To: Lucky9teen

First word that jumped out at me was “ring”.


57 posted on 04/05/2013 9:20:39 AM PDT by Dead Corpse (I will not comply.)
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To: TheOldLady

Excellent!

My sediments exactly!


58 posted on 04/05/2013 9:30:51 AM PDT by Monkey Face (In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. ~ Ben Franklin)
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To: Lucky9teen

Appear


59 posted on 04/05/2013 9:31:17 AM PDT by llevrok (2013: The USA is in a Cold Civil War.)
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To: 4yearlurker

I saw “wonder”


60 posted on 04/05/2013 9:33:44 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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