Posted on 06/12/2013 11:02:04 AM PDT by nickcarraway
A Gumtree user is offering one person the chance to live in Brighton, rent free – as long as they agree to dress up as a walrus for two hours every day.
The advert on the classifieds website explains that the unnamed seller has chosen to retire in Brighton after leading a ‘long and interesting life’, some of which was spent just off the coast of Alaska with a walrus called Gregory.
The seller goes on to say that he has constructed a ‘realistic walrus costume’, which should fit ‘people of average proportions’ – because he has never had a friendship that matched up to Gregory.
The average price of a house in Brighton might be above £200,000, however in order to live for free any prospective lodger must be prepared to fully embrace the role of a walrus.
‘Whilst in the costume you must be a walrus – there must be no speaking in a human voice, and any communication must entail making utterances in the voice of a walrus,’ the advert states.
The seller advises that recordings of what a walrus sounds like can be found online (see below).
The lodger will also have to ‘catch and eat the fish and crabs that I will occasionally throw to you whilst you are being the walrus’ in order to qualify for a ‘spacious double room and complete run of the house’.
Naturally, the seller wishes to audition all applicants before agreeing to take a chosen candidate.
Metro accepts no responsibility for any humiliation caused by replying to the advert.
Applicants must speak fluent Hut and be satisfied snacking on small rodents.
I am the walrus, and you’re not. goo goo g’joob.
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