Posted on 06/14/2013 5:56:45 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
Eep.
I am in SO much trouble.
Fortunately, the women in NYC aren’t armed by law.
But people get pushed in front of subway trains in this city.
I’m gonna have to be nicer to the women I see.
Since they have a coup every couple of years I'm sure someone will change it soon.
Thanks! That was...umm...enlightening.
:o])
The flag of Fryslan looks a lot like the flag of Guam.
And Fryslan looks a lot like a typographical error.
Fortune cookies???
I drive 32 miles each way (used to drive 56 each way) and The Connector through Atlanta is eight lanes each direction. I’ll have to keep that in mind.
Took me a minute to remember it.
The woman on the right is Dr. Temple Grandin. She's autistic, but has done amazing research in animal health and humane handling. Claire Danes portrayed her in the film Temple Grandin.
Oh. Well. Since I never grew up to look like that, I have actress envy...
Well, in case you can look at it before it does...
A prime example of why I love the strip.
*groan*
I'm a gonna need access to that... linky?
I don’t think the Pearls strips get yanked, I just think the master of the Pearls posting - one DogGone - has been AWOL for some time.
For anyone who has forgotten just how funny The Gipper was.
http://www.realclearpolitics.com/lists/ronald_reagan_jokes/communism.html
Dennis Miller was onto something when he suggested “Every Breath You Take” as a suitable replacement for “Hail to the Chief.” Even Sting admitted in interviews the song was intended to be ”very, very sinister and ugly,” and it was inspired by thoughts of “Big Brother, surveillance and control.” It’s a pretty good fit, then, but we know Twitter can do better. For a more contemporary take on the romantic side of spying, these users tried their hand at #NSALoveSongs.
Sorry, it’s on my hard drive. Right now, it only has about 450 KB, because I haven’t been as diligent on keeping the Keepers as I was several years ago. Mostly, it’s just one joke at a time...
However, if you can find a way that won’t kill my slave, I can give it to you. There is not necessarily any distinction between the two threads (OFS and UT) but I believe I’ve been keeping the Best since 2003 or so.
You can FReepmail me if you wish. It may be a day or two before I get back to you on it, as I’m suffering with bleeding ulcers right now, and need to get them under control.
Yeah, watching the news gives me ulcers these days as well.
Just got this in email.
Laff, pleeze!
WE ARE PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE LUTHERAN AIR IS NOW OPERATING IN MINNYSOTA. ALSO SERVING VISCONSIN, NORT AND SOUT DAKOTA.
If you are travelin soon, consider Lutran (Lutheran)Air, da no-frills airline.
You’re all in da same boat on Lutran Air, where flyin is a upliftin experience.
Dere is no first class on any Lutran Air flight. Meals are potluck.
Rows 1-6, bring rolls; 7-15, bring a salad; 16-21, a main dish, and 22-30, a dessert.
Basses and tenors please sit in da rear of da aircraft.
Everyone is responsible for his or her own baggage.
All fares are by free will offering and da plane will not land ‘til da budget is met.
Pay attention to your flight attendant, who will acquaint you wit da safety
system aboard dis Lutran Air 599.
Okay den, listen up. I’m only gonna say dis vonce. In da event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, I am frankly going to be real surprised and so vill Captain Olson, because we fly right around two tousand feet,so loss of cabin pressure would probably mean da Second Coming or someting of dat nature, and I wouldn’t bodar with doze liddle masks on da rubber tubes. You’re gonna have bigger tings to worry about den dat. Just stuff doze back up in dair little holes. Probably da masks fell out because of turbulence which, to be honest wit you, we’re going to have quite a bit of at two tousand feet, sort a like driving across a plowed field, but after a while you get used to it.
In da event of a water landing, I’d say forget it. Start saying da Lord’s Prayer and just hope you get to da part about forgive us our sins as we forgive doze who sin against us, which some people say “trespass against us,” which isn’t right, but what can you do?
Da use of cell phones on da plane is strictly forbidden, not because day may confuse da plane’s navigation system, which is seat of da pants all da way. No, it’s because cell phones are a pain in da
wazoo, and if God meant you to use a cell phone, He would have put your mout on da side of your head.
We start lunch right about noon and it’s buffet style with da coffee pot up front. Den we’ll have da hymn sing; hymnals are in da seat pocket in front of you. Don’t take yours wit you when you go or I am going tobe real upset and I am not kiddin!
Right now I’ll say Grace: “Come, Lord Jesus, be our guest and let deze gifts to us be blessed. Fadar, Son, and Holy Ghost, may we land in Dulut or pretty close.” Amen.
Movie will of course be Fargo, served with some nice Lutefisk
I live in a small town. When I meet some one for the first time, they will often say, “Your face looks so familiar....”.
“You got that right, pal. I probably flipped you off last Tuesday!”, I say to myself.
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