| You Passed the US Citizenship Test |
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| You Passed the US Citizenship Test |
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Top 10??
It was a #2.
Sensuous Wife
“Have you ever seen a twenty dollar bill all crumpled up?” asked the wife.
“No,” said her husband.
She gave him a sexy little smile, slowly reached into her cleavage and pulled out a crumpled twenty dollar bill.
“Have you ever seen a fifty all crumpled up?” she asked.
“Uh, no,” he said.
She gave him another sexy little smile, seductively reached into her panties and pulled out a crumpled fifty dollar bill.
“Now,” she said, “Have you ever seen 30,000 dollars all crumpled up?”
“No,” he said, now really intrigued.
“Well go look in the garage...”
IN b4 most of you!
The Pope and Obama are on the same stage in Yankee Stadium in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leans towards President Obama and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, but will go deep into their hearts and they’ll forever speak of this day and rejoice!”
Obama replied, “I seriously doubt that! With one little wave of your hand....Show me!”
So the Pope backhanded him and knocked him off the stage! AND THE CROWD ROARED & CHEERED WILDLY and there was happiness throughout the land!
TOP 30!!!
1. You can’t wash your eyes with soap.
2. You can’t count your hair.
3. You can’t breathe through your noise, with your tongue out.
4. You just tried no. 3.
6. When you did no. 3 you realized it’s possible, only you look like a dog.
7. You are smiling right now, because you were fooled.
8. You just skipped no. 5.
9. You just checked to see if there is no. 5.
10. Share this with your friends to have fun too:)
I originally scored 9 out of 10, so I had to find out my mistake. I chose 1786 instead of 1787 for the writing of the Constitution....
I’ll take that error.
| You Passed the US Citizenship Test |
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|
Catholic Heart Attack
You don’t have to be Catholic to appreciate this one!!!
A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store.
The store clerks called 911 when they saw him collapse to the floor.
The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery.
He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the Catholic Hospital he was taken to.
A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clip board loaded with several forms, and a pen.
She asked him how he was going to pay for his treatment.
“Do you have health insurance?” she asked.
He replied in a raspy voice, “No health insurance.”
The nun asked, “Do you have money in the bank?”
He replied, “No money in the bank.”
“Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments?” asked the irritated nun.
He said, “I only have a spinster sister, and she is a nun.”
The nun became agitated and announced loudly, “Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God.”
The patient replied, “Perfect. Send the bill to my brother-in-law.”
