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Lunch lady busted after voluntarily stripping for police
Kingsport News ^ | 10/17/13 | Rain Smith

Posted on 10/24/2013 10:14:52 AM PDT by Rebelbase

Police were called to Sullivan East High School, where a cafeteria worker was accused of stealing cash from a coworker's purse. The suspect, 29, denied having the victim's money, then told officers she'd "strip" to "prove it."

After being told that wasn't necessary, she proceeded to take off her shoes and socks. Then her shirt. Then her pants and bra, declaring, "See, I don't have it."

Police then checked a shoe she had removed, finding $27 stuffed beneath the insole. The shoes, she claimed, belonged to her husband.

She was arrested and charged with theft.


TOPICS: Local News; Society
KEYWORDS:
Near end of page at link under October 11th.
1 posted on 10/24/2013 10:14:52 AM PDT by Rebelbase
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To: Rebelbase

We’ll need pictures to determine a verdict.


2 posted on 10/24/2013 10:15:59 AM PDT by Menehune56 ("Let them hate so long as they fear" (Oderint Dum Metuant), Lucius Accius (170 BC - 86 BC))
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To: Menehune56

If she had to pay $27 to do it, it’s probably not something to watch.


3 posted on 10/24/2013 10:16:55 AM PDT by Paladin2
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To: Menehune56

Forgot to add, more wholesome goodness from East TN!


4 posted on 10/24/2013 10:17:14 AM PDT by Rebelbase (Tagline: (optional, printed after your name on post))
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To: Menehune56

I have a presumption of guiltyness in this case...


5 posted on 10/24/2013 10:17:31 AM PDT by bigbob (The best way to get a bad law repealed is to enforce it strictly. Abraham Lincoln)
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To: Paladin2

They ain’t my shoes. They Jimmy shos. I don’t know how that money got there. Obie supporter?


6 posted on 10/24/2013 10:18:19 AM PDT by rktman (Inergalactic background checks? King hussein you're first up.)
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To: Rebelbase

Every self-respecting stripper knows you’re supposed to keep your shoes on.


7 posted on 10/24/2013 10:18:27 AM PDT by smoothsailing
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To: Menehune56

If provided I have a pretty good idea that a guilty verdict will be handed down very quickly.


8 posted on 10/24/2013 10:18:34 AM PDT by Gamecock (Many Atheists take the stand: "There is no God AND I hate Him.")
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To: bigbob

Lunch Lady Land - Adam Sandler

Woke up in the morning.
Put on my new plastic glove.
Served some re-heated salsbury steak
With a little slice of love.
I got no clue what the chicken pot pie
Is made of.
Just know everything’s doing fine
Down here in Lunch Lady Land.

Well, I wear this net on my head
‘Cause my red hair is fallin’ out.
I wear these brown orthopedic shoes
‘Cause I got a bad case of the gout.
I know you want seconds on the corn dogs,
But there’s no reason to shout.
Everybody gets enough food
Down here in Lunch Lady Land.

Well, yesterday’s meatloaf
Is today’s sloppy joes
And my breath reaks of tuna
And there’s lots of black hairs comin’ out of my nose.
In Lunch Lady Land
Your dreams come true
Clouds made of carrots and peas
Mountains built of shepherd’s pie
And rivers made of macarroni and cheese
Don’t forget to return your trays
And try to ignore my gum disease
No student can escape the magic of Lunch Lady Land

Oh..
Hogies and grinders.
Hogies and grinders.
Hogies and grinders.
Navy beans.
Navy beans.
Navy beans.
Navy beans.
Hogies and grinders.
Hogies and grinders.
Navy beans.
Navy beans.
Meatloaf sandwich.
Sloppy joe.
Slop, sloppy joe.
Sloppy joe.
Slop, sloppy joe.
Yeah.
Sloppy joe.
Slop, sloppy joe.
Yeah.
Sloppy joe.
Slop, *farting noise* joe.

Well, ah, dreamt one mornin’
That I woke up to see
All the pepperoni pizza
Was a-lookin’ at me.
It screamed, “Why do you
Burn me and serve me up cold?”
I said, “I got the spatula,
Just do what you’re told.”

Then the liver and onions
Started joinin’ the fight
And the chocolate pudding
Pushed me with all its might
And the chop suey slapped me
And it kicked me in the head.
“It’s called revenge, Lunch Lady,”
Said the garlic bread.

I said, “What did I do to
Make you all so mad?”
They said, “You got flabby arms
And your breath is bad.”
Then the green bean said,
“You better run and hide.”
But then my friend, sloppy joe,
Came and joined my side.

He said, “If it wasn’t for the Lunch Lady,
The kids wouldn’t eat ya.
You should be shakin’ her hand and sayin’
‘Pleased to meet ya.’
She gives you a purpose
And she gives you a goal.
You should be kissin’ her feet
And kissin’ her mole.”

Now, all the angry foods
Just leave me alone
And we all live together
In a happy home
Thanks to
Sloppy joe.
Slop, sloppy joe.
Yeah.
Sloppy joe.
Slop, sloppy joe.
Come on.
Sloppy joe.
Slop, sloppy joe.
Yeah.
Sloppy joe.
Slop, sloppy joe.

Well, me and Sloppy Joe got married.
We got six kids and we’re doin’ just fine
Down in Lunch Lady Land.


9 posted on 10/24/2013 10:19:07 AM PDT by dfwgator
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To: Rebelbase
Not the Lunch Lady!


10 posted on 10/24/2013 10:20:09 AM PDT by Uncle Miltie (If you like the website, you'll love the healthcare!)
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To: Uncle Miltie

I win.


11 posted on 10/24/2013 10:21:17 AM PDT by dfwgator
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To: Rebelbase

I don’t know what the laws are like in Lunch Lady Land.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_-KbstEG4E


12 posted on 10/24/2013 10:21:53 AM PDT by cripplecreek (REMEMBER THE RIVER RAISIN!)
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To: Rebelbase
Reb, all I had to do was read the offenses and I knew which Kingsport we were reading about.
I feel like I know most of these people.
13 posted on 10/24/2013 10:23:06 AM PDT by Tupelo ( Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. An old Republican Tradition.)
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To: Rebelbase

If she stripped in public at a school shouldn’t she also be charged with a couple of other things too??


14 posted on 10/24/2013 10:31:25 AM PDT by GeronL
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To: Uncle Miltie; Lazmataz

Even Laz wouldn’t hit that.


15 posted on 10/24/2013 10:35:56 AM PDT by traderrob6
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To: bigbob

The police should have been charged with voyerism for failure to look the other way.


16 posted on 10/24/2013 10:39:56 AM PDT by The_Media_never_lie (Actually, they lie when it suits them! The crooked MS media must be defeated any way it can be done!)
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To: Gamecock
If provided I have a pretty good idea that a guilty verdict will be handed down very quickly.

Agree. If she couldn't keep the cops distracted from looking in her shoes, there must not have been that much to be distracted by. Guilty.

17 posted on 10/24/2013 10:55:00 AM PDT by trubolotta
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To: Rebelbase

thanks for showing me this new source for entertainment.


18 posted on 10/24/2013 11:09:25 AM PDT by prof.h.mandingo (Buck v. Bell (1927) An idea whose time has come (for extreme liberalism))
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To: prof.h.mandingo
Same page has a story how the Mouse's Ear strip club has burned down in January... apparently this 29 year-old "lunch lady" was a displaced stripper just trying to make an "honest living".

</sarc>

19 posted on 10/24/2013 12:28:35 PM PDT by Rodamala
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To: Rodamala

Well in that case we need a photo.


20 posted on 10/24/2013 12:51:57 PM PDT by prof.h.mandingo (Buck v. Bell (1927) An idea whose time has come (for extreme liberalism))
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