Skip to comments.SNL Script: Pajama Boy Meets Duck Dynasty
Posted on 12/20/2013 5:39:34 PM PST by PJ-Comix
[It will be almost impossible for tomorrow's Saturday Night Live to avoid the Duck Dynasty controversy. In addition, Pajama Boy came to the fore this week and is ripe for parody. So why not combine the two? Well, here is my script for "Pajama Boy Meets Duck Dynasty.]
(Pajama Boy,wearing his onesie pajamas, opens his car door and just as he is getting in, he receives a call on his phone. The picture on the cell phone shows a woman. Pajama Boy answers the phone.)
PAJAMA BOY: Hi mom!
MOTHER: Hi sweetie! You almost here?
PAJAMA BOY: Yeah, I'll be there in a few.
(We see Phil Robertson sitting next to the mother.)
PHIL ROBERTSON: Good, because we have something really important to talk to you about.
PAJAMA BOY: Okay, that's weird. Any hints?
MOTHER: Don't worry about it.
PHIL ROBERTSON: Drive safely.
PAJAMA BOY (still in car): What the heck do they want to talk to me about? Perhaps I should get ready by practicing my smugly annoying ironic smirk?
(Pajama Boy pictures himself at the dinner table.)
PAJAMA BOY (at dinner table in his imagination): So what's so important?
MOTHER: Your dad and I decided to market those obnoxious one piece pajamas.
PHIL ROBERTSON: Peejays!
PAJAMA BOY (back in car): No, no, no, no!
PAJAMA BOY (back at dinner table): So what's so important?
MOTHER: We joined the Obama cult.
PHIL ROBERTSON: It's not a cult! It's cultish. Like Barabara Walters, we worship Obama as the new messiah.
(Scene switches back to Pajama Boy driving and then back to dinner table.)
MOTHER: We know what you did in Fire Island.
PHIL ROBERTSON: We know what you did at the Santa Monica Boulevard Halloween Parade.
MOTHER: We know what you did last summer.
(Scene back to a befuddled Pajama Boy in the car and then back to the dinner table.)
MOTHER: We became ObamaCare navigators.
(Mother and Phil Robertson make silly circus sounds.)
(Scene back to Pajama Boy in car who pulls up to a house. We hear the sound of a door bell and then we see Pajama Boy spooning a plate of food at the dinner table and then cuddling a cup of cocoa.)
PAJAMA BOY: So what did you want to talk to me about?
MOTHER: We know you don't know how to make a duck call.
PHIL ROBERTSON: We love you no matter what but it's time you learn how to use a duck call.
PAJAMA BOY: That's it. Duck call?
MOTHER: It's important.
(Phil Robertson pulls out a very elongated duck call and hands it to Pajama Boy who beams with his trademark ironic smirk.)
PHIL ROBERTSON: Just wrap your lips around this and blow.
PAJAMA BOY: I know. I'll do it and I just, uh... Never mind.
(Scene closes with Pajama Boy smirking at the long duck call in his hand.)
Tag line gone.
As a professional TV writer, myself, I like it! However, the only actual laugh outburst I made was at Kirkwood’s post. Ha!
Nice work, PJ, seriously.
I wonder if that pajama has a Farty Flap. Otherwise, that kid’s pajamas, much like this administration, is probably full of $%#$%.
You know, the actors and models who participate in these things should Google “Great German Movie Stars of World War II” to find out how their careers went.
Make it with webbed duck feet in camo plaid, then pitch it to A&E so they can win back all the putative urban hipster, metro- and homosexual Duck Dynasty fans who were “offended.” Surely A&E will put their money where their mouth is, lol. You’ll make a blue million.
They actually have those. They even have a butt flap. I was thinking that some talented FReeper should make a picture with a pretty girl in those, posing with a rifle. The caption could read My Pajama Girl can beat up your Pajama Boy, or something to that effect.
I saw the real SNL last night and their scripts were LAME.
Yeah, I would be far more impressed with SNL if they didn't have over SIXTEEN writers, three story editors, plus whatever the players contribute. That's about the workload of writing one to two sketches per episode.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.