What are the drinking rules for tonight’s festivities?
Got a two liter of Diet Rite and I’m ready to go. (Hoping that will be enough.)
This year, President Obama's State of the Union address is scheduled for Tuesday, January 28, 2014 at 9pm (Eastern). It should be broadcast on all major networks and cable news/political netorks. For online coverage, go to http://www.c-span.org/sotu/.
|
EVENT |
# of Drinks |
|
Every time he says.... |
|
|
General Blather |
|
|
"The state of our union is strong" (or some version of this) |
1 |
|
hope |
1 |
| change |
1
|
| "hopeful audacity of yes we can change" |
sip of unicorn wine
|
| progress |
1 |
| "let me be clear" |
1 |
| "make no mistake" |
1 |
|
Foreign Policy |
|
| Iraq |
1 advisory shot
|
| Afghanistan |
1
|
|
Iran |
<yawn> 1 |
| Cuba |
shot of something red
|
| North Korea |
Soju or
shot of something short and crazy |
| Syria | 1 repressive shot |
| Bibi (as in Netanyahu) |
1 of Sabra |
| Pope Francis |
1, transubstantiated |
| nuclear |
1 +1 if he goes with W's "nukular" |
|
Domestic Policy |
|
| health care |
shot of NyQuil |
| healthcare.gov |
1 shot of something bronze, silver or gold that you can buy three months after the liquor store proprietor put out an "open for business" sign |
| "childhood education" |
juice box |
| "Expeditionary Learning" (SOTU connection) |
Honor the moment by sharing butterfly juice with your crew and lift up warm feedback in your field journal |
| "fair share" |
take a "fair share" of your neighbor's drink |
| "common sense measures" |
1, make sure to measure it out first |
| debt |
borrow a shot from a friend, promise you'll really pay it back this time |
| deficit |
finish your drink; borrow the drink of the person next to you and drink it too |
| investment in reference to government spending |
1 |
| investment in reference to individual discretionary financial decisions |
hide your shot under your bed; drink it the next time the Dow drops 100 points |
| unemployment |
1
|
| jobs |
1 |
| opportunity |
1
|
| future |
Aurora shot or
something equally futuristic |
| poor |
Natty Light
|
| "middle class" |
Rolling Rock
|
| "wealthiest Americans" |
Goldschlager
(it's got actual gold flakes) |
| recovery | <chuckle> small 1 |
| infrastructure |
1 |
| NSA |
surreptitiously take a sip from someone else's drink |
| guns |
shotgun a beer |
| assault weapons |
keep taking shots until you run out of ammo...err...booze |
| background check |
1, after 3-day waiting period |
| marijuana |
Consume something that is not "more dangerous than alcohol." Use your discretion if you live outside of Colorado and Washington |
| drone |
1, poured without warning from midair |
|
"Don't mess with Texas!" (Sure it's a non-sequitur, but why break tradition?) |
Exchange confused glances, drink freely |
| Reform |
|
| Healthcare __ |
1 of something with tonic |
| Immigration __ |
1 of something imported |
| Education __ |
1 of whatever you drank in college |
| Banking __ |
1 of something from Banker's Club |
| Tax __ |
1 of something complicated |
| __ Judaism |
1 of Manichewitz... or He'Brew |
|
Every time he.... |
|
| refers to the minimum wage increase |
very small shot, then slightly larger shot |
| refers to a tax increase as "asking" some to pay more |
2 |
| criticizes Congress |
1 |
| references the revival of the US auto industry |
1 sip of something imported (irony!) |
| talks about American "competitiveness" in reference to jobs |
1 |
| adds a color qualifier to jobs (e.g., green jobs or blue collar jobs) |
1 drink of the same color |
| references streamlining or reducing unnecessary regulation |
streamline the contents of your glass into your mouth
|
| uses an anecdote to defend a policy |
1 for health care reform
2 for anything else |
| makes a joke If you only know it's a joke because Obama laughed at it himself |
1
+1 |
| sets a long-term objective or vision to be met after his current term is up |
shot of what you'd like to be drinking in 2022 and beyond
|
|
Every time the camera shows.... |
|
|
the First Lady |
1 |
|
the First Lady's arms |
1, delivered by bicep curl |
| Joe Biden, and he looks like he wants to interrupt the speech | 1 |
|
your congressional representative |
1 |
| a close-up on Speaker John Boehner |
1 |
| a "special guest" who is introduced by the President |
1 |
| a "special guest" who is a member of the armed forces |
1
|
|
a standing ovation from HALF of Congress |
1 |
|
Other |
|
|
if the speech is under an hour |
Finish your drink and have another beer |
|
REPUBLICAN RESPONSE BONUS GAME |
|
|
socialism/ist; communism/ist |
1 shot of something red, drunk with your left hand |
|
wasteful spending |
1 |