Posted on 05/02/2014 8:59:22 PM PDT by MNDude
Tie a bow tie.
To have a gun handy so you can get someone to change your tire for you...
Replace the inner tube in a flat tire
Know how to adjust the idle speed on your carburetor Know how to drive standing up in your Milk Delivery Truck Know how to hook-up an FM Convertor to your car radio Know how to solve quadratic equations using a Slide-Rule Know how to drink Scotch whiskey - Without ice !
Pick up a check when with friends occasionally. Don’t be known as a cheap man.
I’m teaching my boys many practical things, but one that I insist on hasn’t made it to the items listed, (at least that I noticed).
Every man should be able to use a either a map, compass or both together, and should be able to find basic directions when no map or compass can be had.
Where did you invade?
A man should know how to gnarfle a garthok.
1. Accurately project kinetic force beyond your reach.
2. Orienteer.
3. Construct shelter.
4. Start and maintain a fire.
5. Kill & eat.
6. Grow & eat.
7. Drop standing lumber, hew, buck and split.
8. Plan, coordinate, cooperate, and execute.
9. Be ready to give a reason for the hope within.
10.Pray
Filet a fish
Sail
Lift 100 lbs. effortlessly
Pretend to listen
Swap out a truck transmission
Play a musical instrument
Use a chain saw
Okay I give up what is gnarfle and garthok?
First, be able to figure out what’s going on.
Whoa - yes, and when not to. Gnarfling is not something to take lightly.
Best done when the garthok is sleeping.
Those suckers can kick!
Okay I found the definition myself.
gnarfle the garthak-To have sex with an exceedingly unattractive, usually fat person, especially whilst inebriated. Derived from the movie Coneheads wherein Beldar must fight a hideous, greasy tusk-beast.
Damn she was fugly, but my man was mackin her friend so I had to gnarfle the garthak
I believe your mommas obviously didn’t whip you enough when you were little. Ya’ll are bad. Just like my reprobate but lovable husband.
Guilty as charged, m'Lud. I blame society. ;-)
Done best after consumption of mass quantities of cereal malt beverage.
My husband’s mother knew he was a heathen at three years old yet she did nothing. I have basically had to raise him these twenty-six years and really all I have managed to do is take the piece of granite that is his head and put it on a pedestal. I’m an idiot.
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